Humor: CIA Sabotage Manual Describes Every Business Meeting Ever

[Chance]

Okay, it was from the OSS era, but still. From CIA.gov:

Since World War II, US intelligence agencies have devised innovative ways to defeat their adversaries. In 1944, CIA’s precursor, the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), created the Simple Sabotage Field Manual.

This classified booklet described ways to sabotage the US’ World War II enemies. The OSS Director William J. Donovan recommended that the sabotage guidance be declassified and distributed to citizens of enemy states via pamphlets and targeted broadcasts.

....

Many of the sabotage instructions guide ordinary citizens, who may not have agree with their country’s wartime policies towards the US, to destabilize their governments by taking disruptive actions. Some of the instructions seem outdated; others remain surprisingly relevant. Together they are a reminder of how easily productivity and order can be undermined.

Here’s a list of five particularly timeless tips from the Simple Sabotage Field Manual:

1. Managers and Supervisors: To lower morale and production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions. Discriminate against efficient workers; complain unjustly about their work.
2. Employees: Work slowly. Think of ways to increase the number of movements needed to do your job: use a light hammer instead of a heavy one; try to make a small wrench do instead of a big one.
3. Organizations and Conferences: When possible, refer all matters to committees, for "further study and consideration." Attempt to make the committees as large and bureaucratic as possible. Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done.
....
5. Transportation: Make train travel as inconvenient as possible for enemy personnel. Issue two tickets for the same seat on a train in order to set up an “interesting” argument.

[Wondering Beard]

You mean that's not how Congress works?

[Hambo]

They trained everyone to be a saboteur, but never told them to stop. Now these sabotage suggestions have become principles of management.

[Chance]

You mean that's not how Congress works?

That's what I said. They're using this in the wrong direction.

[VW.45]

The management at my current job must have copied this manual, because the use the exact same methods. Especially the part of rewarding retards, and punishing the productive.

[Jared]

I swear that is the supervisory handbook where I work.

This brings me to a slight tangent, but every time our LEO members post about the management styles they are subjected to, it sounds word for word like what happens where I work. It's like they make managers, in any field, out of a friggin mold. Just take mold, insert biological goo, bake, out comes management material, complete with corporate speaking vocabulary and terrible recycled ideas.

[GardoneVT]

The CIA would appear to have a valid trademark case against every business textbook publisher in the land.

[Wondering Beard]

That's what I said. They're using this in the wrong direction.

That's what she said ;-)

[Nephrology]

Describes to a T the management of my medical school.

[Wobblie]

And here I thought the manager I used to work for was just an idiot. Shit, he could read.