A woman went to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the wizened fortune teller delivered grave news:
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, the woman stared back at the old woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her shaking hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.
"I have to know this," she said, her voice quavering. She looked up and met the Fortune Teller's gaze She tried to steady her voice and asked:
"Will I be acquitted?"
If we have to march off into the next world, let us walk there on the bodies of our enemies.
Yesterday I saw a very beautiful woman removing the skin from an apple. It goes without saying, she was appealing.
The Lego store reopened.
People are lining up for blocks!
Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?
Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!
Sorta around sometimes for some of your shitty mod needs.
Prefer this one.
What do you call the phobia of chainsaws?
Spoiler (highlight to read):
Common sense.
Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?
Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!
OK, I'm not SAYING the contest is rigged or anything, but anybody else notice that Miss Universe is ALWAYS from EARTH?
We could isolate Russia totally from the world and maybe they could apply for membership after 2000 years.