What kind of jokes does the CDC recommend?
Inside jokes.
What kind of jokes does the CDC recommend?
Inside jokes.
From Jim Geraghty of National Review:
https://www.nationalreview.com/the-m...cross-america/The top institution would probably have to be Harvard University, with its $40 billion endowment; the school has chosen to lay off dining hall employees. Harvard’s president and his wife have both tested positive for coronavirus. The only silver lining is that this has spurred one good joke: “If you thought the coronavirus was insufferable now, wait until it starts bragging about getting into Harvard.”
What did Noah use on his ark to see at night?
Spoiler (highlight to read):
Flood lights
I gave my copy of "Left of Bang" to the timber wolf pup we adopted.
Now he is "aware wolf."
”But in the end all of these ideas just manufacture new criminals when the problem isn't a lack of criminals.” -JRB
If you go home with someone and they have the banner of the former Soviet Union on their wall...that's a big red flag.
Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?
Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!
A Plane with 5 passengers on board, Joe Biden, the Pope, Dr Anthony Fauci , Betty White and a ten year old school girl. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes.
Dr Fauci, said “I need one. I have to help develop a cure for the global health crisis that is COVID19!” He takes one and jumps.
The Pope said “I need one, I have to help spiritually guide people through the global health crisis that is COVID19!” He takes one and jumps.
Biden said ‘‘I need one, I’m the smartest man in the USA when I'm not sleeping 16 hours a day. He takes one and jumps.
Betty White says to the ten year old ... "You can have the last parachute. I've lived my life fully; yours is only starting".
The 10 year old said "don't worry; there are 2 parachutes left. Sleepy Joe took my backpack"
With liberty and justice for all...must be 18, void where prohibited, some restrictions may apply, not available in all states.
Donald Trump was on a visit to Israel. While he was on a tour of Jerusalem he suffered a heart attack and died.
The undertaker told the American diplomats who were accompanying him: "You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here in the Holy Land, for just $1,000."
The diplomats went into a corner and discussed this for a several minutes. They came back to the undertaker and told him they wanted the president shipped home.
The undertaker was puzzled and asked: "Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here, in the Holy Land, and you would spend only $1,000?"
The diplomats replied: "A long time ago, a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We can't risk it."
If we have to march off into the next world, let us walk there on the bodies of our enemies.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
1. A Bible
2. A silver dollar
3. A bottle of whiskey
4. A Playboy magazine
"I'll just hide behind the door" the old preacher said to himself. “When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up."
"If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me and what a blessing that would be!
"If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man and that would be okay, too.
"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.
"And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine's centerfold.
"Lord have mercy," the old preacher whispered. "He's gonna run for Congress."
With liberty and justice for all...must be 18, void where prohibited, some restrictions may apply, not available in all states.
Originally Posted by blues
I'm still married to one. What's left of me.Now is there anybody, got a sweet little woman like mine?
There got to be somebody, got a, got a sweet little woman like mine? Yeah!
Can I get a witness?
Can I get a witness?
Can I get a witness? Yeah...
Can I get a witness? Ohhh...
Can I get a witness? Yeah...
Can I get a witness? Yes.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits - Mark Twain
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy / Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
I have been seeing a lot of jokes about the current toilet paper shortage. I do not find them very Charmin. It’s Scott to stop! This is Northern to laugh about. It’s very difficult to absorb it all. I mean, it just wipes me out. I guess I’ll have to roll along with everyone else. I have to go now…feeling flushed.
====
Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just a tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
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