Jokes. The good the bad and the ugly.

[Totem Polar]

"Little boy, I'm sorry," I said. "But this is just not your lucky day."

Creepy guy and little boy are walking in the deep, dark woods on the outskirts of the county.

"Mister, I'm scared..." says the kid.

"You're scared?" replies the guy "Hell, I have to walk out of this place alone..."

in fact it led to a fairly serious confrontation one time with an audience that was perhaps poorly chosen.

I can see that happening. There are some jokes I won't even tell here.

[Maple Syrup Actual]

One would assume that is the origin but I think I heard something more complex just because I can't believe I embellished a joke that much.

Although I did get paid by the word for quite a while so it's possible.

Sent from my BND-L24 using Tapatalk

[hufnagel]

@misanthropist that's horrible. I laughed.
I might need to steal that sometime I feel like offending some snowflakes.

[beenalongtime]

After a really bad day, I came home to the girlfriend and said I needed a pick me up. She replied, "your bigger then your brother".

[Darth_Uno]

- in fact it led to a fairly serious confrontation one time with an audience that was perhaps poorly chosen.

I too have misjudged my audience. After telling this one, it was met with dead silence and a private admonition to not tell dirty jokes...especially at church. It was just at church, not part of the service. Anyhow:

During the service at the country church the songleader says, "We're going to do something different today. I'll holler out a word, and you all start singing the first song you think of. GRACE!"

Congregation starts singing, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound..."

"Good, good. PRAYER!"

"Sweet hour of prayer, sweet hour of prayer..."

This goes on for a few songs, and the songleader thinks he'll throw this one out just to see what happens. "SEX!"

It's quiet for a minute when an old lady lady in the back starts in with, "Precious memories..."

[hufnagel]

A B-52 with an engine out is an emergency. An F-16 with an engine out is an electronic lawn dart.

[jtcarm]

A B-52 with an engine out is an emergency. An F-16 with an engine out is an electronic lawn dart.

I would think on the B-52, it would rate no more than an inconvenience.

[hufnagel]

I would think on the B-52, it would rate no more than an inconvenience.

That was a stealth joke. Cloaked for your protection

[Andy in NH]

A compelling argument as to why aliens have not have visited us yet, is that our solar system only has a one-star rating.

[52Hubcap]

Math jokes are pretty bland for this place.

There are 3 kinds of people in the world...those that can do math and those that can't; that is, unless there are 10 kinds of people...those that understand binary and those that don't.