It's deplorable...
That he didn't dye his hair black too.
I thought it was "Fürher".Originally Posted by MistWolf
--Josh
“Formerly we suffered from crimes; now we suffer from laws.” - Tacitus.
Moving away from standard jokes...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5Lm...utu.be&t=1m19s
A man kicked open the door to a crowded bar, holding a 1911 high over his head and fired a a shot into the ceiling, instantly getting everyone's attention. "I've got 8 more rounds of 45 ACP, in this pistol," he growled into the sudden silence. "Now, I want to know- who's been sleeping with my wife?"
Somewhere, from a dark corner in the back, a man cleared his throat and said "Bob, you're gonna need more ammo than that"
Last edited by MistWolf; 12-06-2016 at 04:00 AM.
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Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven.
God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side I
must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in."
God asks Obama first: "What do you believe?"
He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in
hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in
giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen".
God can't help but see the essential goodness of Obama , and offers him
a seat to his left.
Then God turns to Hillary and says, "What do you believe?"
Hillary says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the
fundamentals of life. Like Obama I believe in hard work. I, too, have
been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true patriot and
a loyal American."
God is greatly moved by Hillary's high-pitched eloquence, and he offers
her a seat to his right.
Finally, God turns to Trump and says, "And you, Donald, what do you
believe?"
Trump replies, "I believe you're in my seat."
"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." - Thomas Jefferson, Virginia Constitution, Draft 1, 1776
at first I read that and I was screaming
but then I got to the end and I was like
Nice One !!!!!
A collie and a german shepard meet at the vet.
The shepard asks the collie what he's there for.
The collie explains that his owner beat him, and he finally could take no more, and bit the owner in the throat, and killed him. He said that sadly, he was scheduled to be put down by the family.
The collie asks the same question to the shepard, "why are you here"?
The Shepard explains that he is owned by a gorgeous brunette with 36-24-34 measurements, and a great ass. He says that when he saw her bending over gardening , he just couldn't control himself any longer, mounted her, and rode her to completion.
The collie says, 'so I guess you'll be going before me, huh"?
But the Shepard just smiled and says, "nope, I'm just here to get my nails trimmed"......
Last edited by CSW; 12-08-2016 at 07:21 AM.
"... And miles to go before I sleep".
A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
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