Jokes. The good the bad and the ugly.

[Half Moon]

"You know what they say...big feet, big..."




"Why do you think I always turn sideways when someone takes a picture?"

I'm pretty sure that's Sasquatch. It's OK. He's often confused for Bigfoot, Yeti never complains...

[UNK]

Please don’t mention Bigfoot erotica in this thread. It will never recover.

[Wingate's Hairbrush]

[O4L]

WTF!

[Greg]

Dammit! I said don’t mention it!

[Dog Guy]

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?



A cat has claws at the end of it's paws.
A comma has pause at the end of its clause.

[RoyGBiv]

A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
• Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

[5pins]

My new boss thinks I'm called "the computer" because I can do calculations quickly in my head.

The truth is It's because I fall asleep ever 15 minutes if I'm not being used.

[RoyGBiv]

[5pins]

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?', St. Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.

'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the s - - t out of all of you!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago.'