Page 66 of 107 FirstFirst ... 1656646566676876 ... LastLast
Results 651 to 660 of 1067

Thread: Jokes. The good the bad and the ugly.

  1. #651
    Site Supporter JohnO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    CT (behind Enemy lines)
    Quote Originally Posted by 5pins View Post
    A man who has always wanted to see the Super Bowl buys a ticket months in advance for $2000. He later realized that his wedding is on the same day. Not wanting to waste the tickets he post on Facebook. "I have tickets to the Super Bowl but my wedding is on the same day. I don't want to waste them so if someone would like to take my place just show up at the Baptist church on 14th street at 11 am".
    Can I arrive early and inspect the merchandise? An exhibition game might be in order.

  2. #652
    Gucci gear, Walmart skill Darth_Uno's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    STL
    Quote Originally Posted by Unisaw View Post
    What’s the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The pricks are on the outside of the porcupine.
    What's the difference between a BMW and an elephant? An elephant has the trunk in front and asshole in back.

  3. #653
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Cincinnati Ohio
    Quote Originally Posted by blues View Post
    Sicilians bury the witnesses.
    I was married to a Sicilian. I don't think there is enough of the witness left to bury.
    Dean,
    “The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine
    "The problem is not the availability of guns, it is the availability of morons."- Antonio Meloni

  4. #654
    banana republican blues's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Blue Ridge Mtns
    Quote Originally Posted by baddean View Post
    I was married to a Sicilian. I don't think there is enough of the witness left to bury.
    I'm still married to one. What's left of me.
    There's nothing civil about this war.

    Read: Harrison Bergeron

  5. #655
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Cincinnati Ohio
    Quote Originally Posted by blues View Post
    I'm still married to one. What's left of me.
    I think you're safe as long as you don't witness anything.
    Dean,
    “The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine
    "The problem is not the availability of guns, it is the availability of morons."- Antonio Meloni

  6. #656
    Once, I was asked if I was a Jehova's witness. I said, how could I be? I never even saw the accident.
    We wish to thank the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement, without whose assistance this program would not have been possible.

  7. #657
    Gucci gear, Walmart skill Darth_Uno's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    STL
    I just finished a book on Stockholm Syndrome. It started off pretty bad, but by the end I liked it.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

  8. #658
    Site Supporter
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Fort Worth, TX
    What makes Hillary Clinton invulnerable to the Caronavirus?

    She drinks BleachBits.
    "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." - Thomas Jefferson, Virginia Constitution, Draft 1, 1776

  9. #659
    Chasing the Horizon RJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Two blondes walk into a bar looking very pleased with themselves, whooping and giving high fives.
    The bartender asks:
    "What are you celebrating?"
    "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle, in 3 days!"
    "Yeah, the box said 2-4 Years!"

  10. #660
    Site Supporter Totem Polar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    PacNW
    Every country will eventually get the corona virus.

    But china got it right off the bat.
    ”But in the end all of these ideas just manufacture new criminals when the problem isn't a lack of criminals.” -JRB

User Tag List

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •