I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know...
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Give it ten tickles.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
AyeMatey!
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know...
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Give it ten tickles.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
AyeMatey!
Last edited by 0ddl0t; 12-18-2019 at 08:00 PM.
How did the Hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
He dials a number, it rings a few times, then a small voice says hello.
He asks "Who is this?" "This is Johnny."
He asks "Is your daddy there?" "Yes, but he is busy."
He asks "Is your mommy there?" "Yes, but she is busy."
He asks "Is there another adult in the house?" "Yes, there is a policeman here".
He figures what the Hell, "Can I talk to him?" "No he's busy."
"Well Johnny, what are all these people so busy doing?"
"They're lookin' for me..."
Farswot out.
What did the janitor exclaim as he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
Why did the janitor quit?
He realized grime doesn't pay.
ABC7 news, Detroit - A 15 year old boy was at the center of the Wayne County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.Originally Posted by Sidheshooter
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and conference with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Dallas Cowboys whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
FIFY
ETA The Arkansas Razorbacks will work as well.
Last edited by Bigguy; 12-28-2019 at 09:52 PM.
How do you kill a hipster?
Drown him in the mainstream.
”But in the end all of these ideas just manufacture new criminals when the problem isn't a lack of criminals.” -JRB
Patient: Give it to me straight, Doc.
Doctor: Well, I'm afraid you've got Tom Jones Disease.
Patient: Tom Jones Disease? I've never heard of it. Is it common?
Doctor: Well, it's not unusual.
" La rose est sans pourquoi, elle fleurit parce qu’elle fleurit ; Elle n’a souci d’elle-même, ne demande pas si on la voit. » Angelus Silesius
"There are problems in this universe for which there are no answers." Paul Muad'dib
I haven't had a bath since the last decade.
We could isolate Russia totally from the world and maybe they could apply for membership after 2000 years.
Anti-astroturfing disclaimer: I am the owner of Bagman Tactical (custom tactical nylon).
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