Page 82 of 83 FirstFirst ... 327280818283 LastLast
Results 811 to 820 of 826

Thread: Jokes. The good the bad and the ugly.

  1. #811
    critical race weary blues's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Blue Ridge Mtns
    Quote Originally Posted by Andy in NH View Post
    Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch...

    Yeti never complains.
    That joke is abominable.
    ...and just like that, I woke up one morning and the America I knew and loved was gone.

  2. #812
    Site Supporter
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    the Deep South
    I just heard this one yesterday. I apologize if someone has already posted it upthread.

    A photon checked into a hotel, and the bellhop asked if he could take the photon's luggage to his room. "No thanks. I'm traveling light," replied the photon.

  3. #813
    Site Supporter
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Texarkana, Texas
    Sorry mods if this is the wrong thread. Please move to medical thread if you need to.
    So, I fixed a dinner of baked Ziti and green beans. As usual, I fried some bacon and mixed it and some of the grease with the green beans. I made enough for us to have a couple of left over meals.
    The next day the wife and I are talking about warming up food. When we got to the green beans, suddenly she started mumbling gibberish. I could make any sense of the sounds she was making. I wondered if she'd switched to a foreign language. A few seconds later, she was again speaking english.
    The episode seemed to be over. I was afraid it might have been a stroke. But I've also heard of people tapping into ancient languages. So, I though I'd try to post the sounds she made in case anybody here might recognize them. As best as I can reproduce them in print:

    "Tu Muttch bay kun."

    Completely intelligible to me. I just couldn't grasp what concept she was attempting to convey. Anybody else got any ideas?

  4. #814
    Site Supporter
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    CT (behind Enemy lines)
    Quote Originally Posted by Bigguy View Post

    "Tu Muttch bay kun."

    Completely intelligible to me. I just couldn't grasp what concept she was attempting to convey. Anybody else got any ideas?
    Improper BIOS settings. You need to update the BIOS and reload the OS!

  5. #815
    Quote Originally Posted by Bigguy View Post
    "Tu Muttch bay kun."

    Completely intelligible to me. I just couldn't grasp what concept she was attempting to convey. Anybody else got any ideas?
    Yes. She said "Next time, hold the green beans"
    Mother Earth Will Swallow You
    Lay Your Body Down
    Find The Price of Freedom
    Buried in the Ground

  6. #816
    Illinexit in T-Minus 43 RevolverRob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Mordor on Lake Michigan
    From the IG Ministry of Dad Jokes:

    Name:  F7AC2B73-C630-4061-9BBE-86187CACA7E8.jpg
Views: 233
Size:  44.1 KB
    Remember the wisdom of the Wu:

    Quote Originally Posted by Wu Tang Clan
    You best protect ya neck

  7. #817
    @GJM

    Bob was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

    The black bear said, ďThat was a very bad mistake. That bear is my cousin, Iím going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex.Ē
    After considering briefly, Bob decided to accept the latter alternative. So the black bear had his way with Bob.

    Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Bob soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzle bear stood right next to him.

    The grizzly said, ďThat was a big mistake, Bob. That bear was my cousin and youíve got two choices- either I maul your to death or we have rough sex.Ē
    Again, Bob thought it was better to co-operate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Bob.

    Although he survived, it took several months before Bob fully recovered. Now Bob was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder, He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

    The polar bear looked at him and said, ďAdmit it, Bob, you donít come here just for the hunting, do you?Ē
    It ainít over till the fat lady sings.
    uneducated and low information
    I'll wager you a PF dollarô 😎
    He needed a healthy dose of bonded bullets. LSP552

  8. #818
    Quote Originally Posted by UNK View Post
    @GJM

    Bob was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

    The black bear said, ďThat was a very bad mistake. That bear is my cousin, Iím going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex.Ē
    After considering briefly, Bob decided to accept the latter alternative. So the black bear had his way with Bob.

    Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Bob soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzle bear stood right next to him.

    The grizzly said, ďThat was a big mistake, Bob. That bear was my cousin and youíve got two choices- either I maul your to death or we have rough sex.Ē
    Again, Bob thought it was better to co-operate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Bob.

    Although he survived, it took several months before Bob fully recovered. Now Bob was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder, He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

    The polar bear looked at him and said, ďAdmit it, Bob, you donít come here just for the hunting, do you?Ē
    Name:  220px-PaperbackCoverofBearbyMarianEngel.jpg
Views: 122
Size:  21.6 KB

  9. #819
    Soul Brother Number 1 Greg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Utah
    Please donít mention Bigfoot erotica in this thread. It will never recover.
    Donít blame me. I didnít vote for that dumb bastard.

  10. #820
    critical race weary blues's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Blue Ridge Mtns


    "You know what they say...big feet, big..."




    "Why do you think I always turn sideways when someone takes a picture?"
    ...and just like that, I woke up one morning and the America I knew and loved was gone.

User Tag List

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •