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Thread: Jokes. The good the bad and the ugly.

  1. #831
    The book I ordered about clocks finally came in.

    It's about time.
    We could isolate Russia totally from the world and maybe they could apply for membership after 2000 years.

  2. #832
    I wanted to make alligator stew, but all I have is a crock pot.
    Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?

    Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!

  3. #833
    Wood burnin' Curmudgeon CSW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    I can pee outside.

    Morality test.

    This is a morality test. It has only one question, but it is a very
    important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you
    stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional
    situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember, your
    answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
    Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.



    THE SITUATION:
    You are in Florida , Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around
    you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of
    Biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major
    newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The
    situation is nearly hopeless.
    You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and
    people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is
    unleashing all of its destructive fury.




    THE TEST:
    Suddenly you see a woman in the water. She is fighting for her life,
    trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow
    the woman looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's Hillary
    Clinton!
    At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take
    her under forever. You have two options: You can save the life of
    Hillary Clinton or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning
    photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women.




    THE QUESTION:
    Here's the question, and please give an honest answer?
    Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
    classic simplicity of black and white?
    "... And miles to go before I sleep".

  4. #834
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    South East South Dakota
    Snap the pic with whatever the hells in the camera, pull the film and hit here square in the face with the camera, as hard as I could. Why not have the best of both?


    Cat

  5. #835
    Quote Originally Posted by CSW View Post
    THE QUESTION:
    Here's the question, and please give an honest answer?
    Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
    classic simplicity of black and white?
    Always shoot in color. It can later be converted to black & white in Photo Shop.
    We wish to thank the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement, without whose assistance this program would not have been possible.

  6. #836
    Have we had any spousal murders yet, declared covid related?

  7. #837
    Wood burnin' Curmudgeon CSW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    I can pee outside.
    Quote Originally Posted by beenalongtime View Post
    Have we had any spousal murders yet, declared covid related?
    ......Not that anyone would admit to....
    "... And miles to go before I sleep".

  8. #838
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    South East South Dakota
    Well, we had .45 caliber Covid death locally, if that counts.

  9. #839
    Ready! Fire! Aim! awp_101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    DFW
    My wife screamed "you haven't listened to a single word I've said, have you?! I was taken aback...what a weird way to start a conversation.
    Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits - Mark Twain

    Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy / Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?

  10. #840
    Ready! Fire! Aim! awp_101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    DFW
    Putin visits Estonia

    Immigration officer says: "Name?"

    "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin"

    "Address?"

    "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia"

    "Occupation?"

    "No, this time just visiting"
    Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits - Mark Twain

    Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy / Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?

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