Do dumplings imply the existence of a larger ‘Dumple’?
Do dumplings imply the existence of a larger ‘Dumple’?
Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?
Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!
Two Senators stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched.
One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.
After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.
Laying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one Senator says to the other, "I don't think much of this budgie jumping."
The other Senator replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either!"
Two Senators are at the train station.
The first Senator asks the clerk, "Can I take this train to Chicago?"
"No," the clerk responds.
The second Senator asks the clerk, "Can I?"
Three blondes are trying to enter a police academy. In order to do so, they have to pass an entrance exam.
The examiner takes the first blonde into a secure room and shows her a picture for ten seconds, and then asks: “If this was your suspect, how would you remember him?”
“Easy,” the first blonde responds. “He only has one eye!”
“You fool!” yells the examiner. “Of course he has two eyes! It’s a side profile picture. You’re too stupid to be an officer. Get out of here!”
Shaking his head, the examiner takes the second blonde into the secure room and shows her the picture, asking: “If this was your suspect, how would you remember him?”
“Oh, I know!” the second blonde says. “He only has one ear!”
“You fool!” cries the examiner. “Of course he has two ears! It’s a side profile picture. You’re as dumb as the last person I tested. Get out of here!”
Frustrated, the examiner takes the third blonde into the room. “I really hope you’re smarter than the last two,” he grumbles and shows her the picture, asking: “If this was your suspect, how would you remember him?”
The third blonde furrows her brow in thought. After a few minutes, she says: “I have it! He wears contact lenses!”
The examiner is bewildered, but leaves the room to go check. He finds out that the person in the picture does indeed wear contacts.
“That’s amazing!” he says to the third blonde. “I’ve never met someone as brilliant as you. Welcome to the team! Out of curiosity, how could you tell the man in the picture had on contacts?”
“Well he couldn’t wear REGULAR glasses,” the third blonde replies. “He only has one ear and one eye!”
And finally;
Why did the Senator drive his truck off the bridge?
He wanted to check his air brakes.
"... And miles to go before I sleep".
I remember that one as a Dan Quayle joke the first time I heard it.Originally Posted by RJ
Which reminds me of an old joke about old jokes...careful with that joke, it's an antique.
Sorta around sometimes for some of your shitty mod needs.
The first time I remember hearing it, Henry Kissinger was one of the parties.
Little Johnny is driving his mom nuts being home for quarantine.
But they’re building a house across the street. That’s an essential business. Mom tells him, Johnny go over there and see if the boss can find something for you to do. Maybe he’ll pay you, and maybe you learn something.
Johnny comes home at 5 and says, it was great! I cut boards, and nailed them up, then I painted a door. And he gave me 20 bucks!
Mom says, that’s great, now set the table for dinner Johnny.
Johnny says, Fuck that, that’s the laborer’s job.
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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.’
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.’
The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.’
The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
With liberty and justice for all...must be 18, void where prohibited, some restrictions may apply, not available in all states.
SIX - S = 9
Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?
Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!
Holy dad joke! I get it. I can't bring myself to like it though.
I'll try to come up with something worse in case we want to totally derail this thread.
Why do mountains look funny?
Spoiler (highlight to read):
They are hill areas
How did Vikings communicate?
Spoiler (highlight to read):
Norse code
FIVE - Iron = 4?
Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?
Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!
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