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Thread: Make me laugh - the PF memes thread - NO POLITICAL MEMES

  1. #35081
    Site Supporter gringop's Avatar
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    Mar 2011
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    Central Texas
    Quote Originally Posted by Andy in NH View Post
    My Mum and Da were Glaswegians.
    Thou has uttered the word Glaswegian and thus has summoned forth the "Sean Connery joke".

    Sho it wash shead. Sho shall it be written.

    Gringop

    ****************************
    Sean Connery was on a talk show with Lulu. Afterwards, Lulu says, "You know, Mr. Connery, I've always had a thing for older men..."

    "Ish that sho?" asks Sean.

    "Yes, and I'd love to explore it. Would you like to meet me in my hotel room tonight?"

    "Of courshe"

    So they meet up later that evening, and get down to business. 20 minutes later, they are both laying there, Connery smoking a cigarette, and Lulu trying to catch her breath.

    "My god, that was the most amazing sex I've ever had," Lulu says.

    Sean replies, "You think that wash great? Tell you what, cup my balls with your left hand, hold my cock with your right, and give me 20 minutes, then I'll show you great." She's a bit confused, but she obliges. Holding on to his member and balls, she waits 20 minutes as he naps.

    Suddenly, he wakes up and ravishes her. If the last was great sex, this is the best sex anyone has ever had. Lulu finally catches her breath to say, "I didn't believe you, but that was incredible."

    Sean says, "I'm jusht warming up. Cup my balls and grab my cock and give me an hour and I'll show you what an old man can really do."

    No hesitation this time. She has to find out what happens next. She grabs his balls, grabs his cock, and waits. An hour later, the heavens open up as she has the most earth-shattering orgasm a woman could ever have. Maybe better.

    After she finally, FINALLY catches her breath. She says, "Sean, that was amazing. I've never felt anything like it. I have to know, what does cupping your balls and holding your penis like that do? Does it make you more sensitive? Give you stamina?"

    He says, "Hm? Oh, no. Nothing like that. It's jusht, the lasht time I was with with a Glaswegian, she shtole my wallet."
    *****************************
    Play that song about the Irish chiropodist. Irish chiropodist? "My Fate Is In Your Hands."

  2. #35082
    Member John Hearne's Avatar
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    Mar 2011
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    Northern Mississippi
    Quote Originally Posted by Totem Polar View Post
    I gave this one to my heterosexual lifemate for Christmas this past year. His wife liked it better than the cunt hair ruler he received the previous year.
    • It's not the odds, it's the stakes.
    • If you aren't dry practicing every week, you're not serious.....
    • "Tache-Psyche Effect - a polite way of saying 'You suck.' " - GG

  3. #35083
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    Sep 2015
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    Southern AZ
    Is that those Forgotten Weapons guys?

  4. #35084
    Four String Fumbler Joe in PNG's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
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    Papua New Guinea; formerly Florida
    Quote Originally Posted by TCB View Post
    Is that those Forgotten Weapons guys?
    Nope- Gun Jesus would be toting a MAS-49.
    "You win 100% of the fights you avoid. If you're not there when it happens, you don't lose." - William Aprill
    "I've owned a guitar for 31 years and that sure hasn't made me a musician, let alone an expert. It's made me a guy who owns a guitar."- BBI

  5. #35085
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  6. #35086
    Ready! Fire! Aim! awp_101's Avatar
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    Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits - Mark Twain

    Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy / Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?

  7. #35087
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  8. #35088
    Site Supporter CCT125US's Avatar
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    Apr 2011
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    Ohio
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    Taking a break from social media.

  9. #35089
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    Nov 2012
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    Erie County, NY
    Quote Originally Posted by camel View Post
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    Actually, a few years ago, in TX, my wife and I were going into a HEB and found a toddler just standing the drive through lane with nobody around. We took her inside and found an employee to call their security and make an announcement. Our good deed.
    Cloud Yeller of the Boomer Age

  10. #35090
    Site Supporter Totem Polar's Avatar
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    Aug 2013
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    PacNW
    LoL
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    ”But in the end all of these ideas just manufacture new criminals when the problem isn't a lack of criminals.” -JRB

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