Kehowell-
One thing that I've found helpful when trying to determine the best placement for my trigger finger on the trigger of a new gun is to practice dry firing with only my strong hand (the hand you primarily grip the gun and press the trigger with). I have found that using a two handed grip can minimize the sight deflection induced by my trigger press, making it harder to determine where my best "natural" (the one that doesn't automatically induce sight deflection) trigger finger position is located.
Grip the gun firmly in your strong hand and with the tip of your trigger finger on the trigger, practice dry firing and then re-cocking while slowly moving more and more of your trigger finger across the face of the trigger every few shots. At some point you may find that the gun goes from twitching left as the hammer falls to twitching right once you have too much finger across the trigger. Right in between, where the gun deflects neither right nor left, is the best spot for you to place your finger on the trigger. Make good note of it, and practice it that way every time you squeeze the trigger, until your trigger finger automatically lands there every time you press the trigger.
I wholeheartedly endorse the suggestion to try different backstraps, as they can have an impact on where your trigger finger and its joints naturally rest on the gun. Just be aware that different backstraps effect your entire grip. I've tried different combinations of grip panels on some guns and found "X" panels felt great in dry fire, but caused my grip to break in live fire (my weak hand separating from my strong hand/gun) or that they caused the gun to naturally point left or right of the bullseye for me.
Also endorse the drill of the week recommendation, especially the dot torture drill. Just start from a ready position rather that a holster if you cannot draw at your range (and until you get some instruction on drawing from a holster) and start at three yards. Once you can do the entire drill "clean" (no misses), move the target out to 4 yard and so on. I just use some painters tape to tape the target to the backer or a larger silhouette target if the range target carriers don't have backers.
My response to the "sissy loader" remark might have been along the lines of "So we should practice loading manually in case we are ever in an extended fire fight and exhaust all of our loaded magazines but don't have our sissy loader with us, we can still break out the box of ammo we carry in our back pocket and manually reload the empty magazines we've been judiciously retaining, so we can get back in the fight, right?". Odds are, your response was much more appropriate to the situation however.