Sorry for the potentially depressing thread, but I'd appreciate some perspective from like minded individuals. I'm struggling lately (last 2-3 years) with a concept across multiple areas of my life, but the concept is the same.
Concept: Better than average at something, but not good enough to be "pro" at it, and unwilling/unable to put in enough time to get to that level. Having achieved best possible results, then tempted to quit.
The current example for me is 3gun. About 10 months ago some buddies invited me to the local "outlaw" 3gun match. This one is set up "tactical" style with pre-established round counts, no makeup shots, and heavy penalties for misses. Well, this works well for me because it jives with my "tactical" training background. Having taken first place multiple times now, I decided to try my hand at the larger "3GN Nation" style match held in Atlanta. 31/100 is my best finish so far at that match. There are a couple factors working against me at that match:
1) Real, actual Pro sponsored shooters compete at that match. Rob Romero, James Casanova, and Erik Lund were at the last one (may have been other pros I don't recognize as well.
2) Match focuses less on accuracy and more on speed, and much more heavily on shotgun than pistol or rifle. At the last match I shot 108 rounds of 12ga, 80 rounds of pistol, and 20 rounds of rifle. Part of this is because it's all bay style with no long range shots, so rifle is just not used very much unless specified.
In order to improve at that match it is my impression that I'll have to spend a whole lot of time in my garage practicing loading my shotgun. Even then, I'd have to devote way more time and funds to practicing shooting to the exclusion of time/money spent with my family (wife, 2yr son, 7mo son).
Meanwhile I've got a dedicated 3gun rifle, 3gun shotgun, belt, shell caddies, etc, etc. If I'm not going to get better at it or win, then I may as well sell off all the gear and not even shoot another match. Spend the time/money on something more productive.
Am I being too black & white about this? Should I just keep doing it and improving little by little? Shooting the bigger match is more time (12 hrs on a match day) away from home, more gas spent driving, more ammo used/rounds fired, higher entry fee, and more costly gear. By contrast, the local outlaw "tactical" match is 15 minutes away, 3-4 hrs max, entry fee is less than 1/2, and uses less ammo while still practicing dynamic shooting (on the move, multiple targets, reloads, etc).
Where is the line between pushing yourself and beating your head against the wall?