Buying a gun for a woman (wife, GF, sister, etc.)

[rob_s]

I'm sure this is something many here have done, although perhaps on,y once or twice, so I thought it might be interesting to compare notes.

The last time I did this I bought a stock Glock 19, a drop/offset holster, a belt, and mag pouches and sent my GF to a Randy Cain 2-day ladies only handgun course. Eventually the gun went to Boresight Solutions for an extreme grip reduction, and now appears to have some sort of big orange square front sight on it (which I may have actually installed before the class, can't recall), unsure of the trigger but definitely a G17 bar and feels lighter than stock, vickers mag button, stock slide stop. Still have the gun, don't have the girl (she died, so please hold the smart remarks).

This time around my intent is to be pretty much the same to start except that I intend to outfit the gun with the sights, trigger, slide stop, and mag release that I like because (a) I'm still more likely to actually ever shoot the gun and (b) I think standardizing is good and (c) I think she'll benefit from the same modifications as I find they make the gun easier to shoot.

My question is, do you advocate for giving a new shooter, particularly a woman, especially one that is unlikely to actually shoot the gun beyond initial training and other possible "forced" events, a gun that is stock or a gun that is modified? If modified, to what criteria?

If this was a dude, that I thought was interested in getting serious about shooting, I'd probably advocate for starting with a stock gun and modifying as-needed. But given that this is a somewhat reluctant shooter (she wants a gun, may not want to shoot/practice/train much but can be encouraged), my thinking is that maybe it's best to set her up for success as much as possible to encourage continued participation. If it's easier for her to get hits, and manipulate the controls, right out of the gate then she might be more likely to get out and practice or even join me at matches, etc.

Thoughts? What have you done with your females in the past? How'd it turn out?

[Chuck Haggard]

I've noted in the past that gals who might be tepid about the idea at first, and find a gun they like to shoot, often get into shooting more than you would have first suspected they would have.

She should be at least partially involved in the selection process.

[MDS]

My biggest thing has always been small hands. My wife is the prime example here. She didn't really enjoy the stock g19 at her Randy Cain ladies-only class. We've explored a lot of guns, and concluded that trigger reach is the main obstacle. She can reach it on her current mp9c, but just barely. Plus recoil sucks, I wish she could reach with the full size. (She can reach better with the shield, but recoil and grip really suck, so she just hates shooting it.)

I think I'm going to surprise her with a MK9, which is a heavy, all steel version of the PM9. A tad awkward on the grip but she can reach the controls and the recoil is tame. She really enjoyed shooting GJM's but then got cold feet when it came time to buy. If she practices with it, I can get her a PM9 for lighter weight carry. If that doesn't fly, I'll start looking at 380's.

And while my wife is a more or less past this, color and looks have been very important to other ladies I've worked with on choosing a gun.

ETA: I confused the CM9 for the MK9. Obviously I have done research to do before I buy!

[GardoneVT]

As the resident twentysomething,I'll offer this: she cannot be compelled to like guns the way you do.

If your spouse isn't personally motivated enough to shop for her own gun, why would she be motivated enough to train with it?

[Clay]

I told my wife what I thought would work best for her (Glock 26), and then let her figure it out for herself. She bought a Glock 19, Ruger LCP, Ruger LC9, and a S&W Shield, and then finally settled on the Glock 26. Lots of holsters, lots of money. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way.

She now runs a Glock 26 Gen4 with a Remora for a purse holster, or if carrying IWB she uses a Comp-Tac MTAC or a IWB holster from Eric Barber. She goes to the range almost every time I go, and shoots around 50-100 rounds every two weeks right now. She's taken a couple of classes and has watched all my old training DVD's. She doesn't practice her drawstroke or dry-fire near enough, IMO, but there you go. We've been married 8 years, and it took 6 to get her to this point. Good luck!

Truthfully, I'm pretty happy if I can get my wife and daughter (20yo) to carry OC and a light every day, and pay attention to what's going on around them.

[MDS]

As the resident twentysomething,I'll offer this: she cannot be compelled to like guns the way you do.

If your spouse isn't personally motivated enough to shop for her own gun, why would she be motivated enough to train with it?

She wants to like it, but isn't sure how to find it. And helping my spouse with anything more complicated than taking out the garbage is, well, complicated. I won't give her any advice at all on things like this. But she occasionally whines about her lack of gun skills, so a little nudge, like maybe a surprise gun that she once enjoyed shooting, can sometimes help.

In a similar vein, for example, it's very easy to make a dude very annoyed by offering unsolicited advice about how to interact with his spouse. Even when it's very good advice.

[41magfan]

I used to do some "Women Only" training classes and this is what I learned from those interactions;

* Choice in hardware will initially be about how it "looks" and "feels".
* Recoil is totally subjective with most women, so let them determine their own level of comfort.
* If they don't "like" the gun, they won't likely train or carry it.

In a nutshell; their choices will not likely be your choices. As long as it's reliable and they have the interest to develop some skill with their choice, I'd suggest that you go with it. ANY gun they can shoot well and have confidence in will - in all likelihood - serve them just fine.

If they stay with it for any length of time, many women will gravitate away from their initial ideas and notions about carrying and shooting forearms. My, my doesn't that sound familiar?

[BJXDS]

As the resident twentysomething,I'll offer this: she cannot be compelled to like guns the way you do.

If your spouse isn't personally motivated enough to shop for her own gun, why would she be motivated enough to train with it?

+1

However sometimes they don't know what they don't know. While shooting with friends the mother had no interest to try to shoot, until her daughter said, mom this is fun you really need to do it. The mother shot and said, this is fun. She is not and never will be into shooting like the rest of us, but she now enjoys shooting.

IMHO I would start off with something stock, that she is comfortable with and is able to handle and shoot well and build from that. Once she has a basic understanding of what she likes and dislikes you may begin to introduce other custom options as she develops an interest and starts to ask questions.

[Kyle Reese]

Follow the advice of the professionals at the gun shop counters, and buy her a pink .38 J-Frame, sub-compact 1911 or a Taurus Judge.



(j/k)

As others have stated, she must be involved in the selection process, and I generally recommend a modern, striker fired semi-auto 9x19 service sized handgun from a reputable manufacturer.

[SAWBONES]

The very first distinction is between semiautomatic and revolver, and although this may seem ridiculously obvious, the modern domination of semiautos in the marketplace almost seems to eclipse revolvers from consideration in the minds of most men helping a woman to "choose a first gun".

If she were significantly interested in sidearms herself and had an engineering "bent", she might be able to choose wisely by herself as to such issues as action, caliber and model, but since you're assisting her, let's assume that she has little or no preexisting experience with sidearms and no reasonably-held preferences. (I say "reasonably held", meaning based on knowledge or experience rather than on whim or because "it looks cool".)

So...take her to the range and let her shoot representative examples of common, non-intimidating self-defense calibers in both revolvers (.38 Special) and semiautos (9mm), hopefully in both cases with stocks that aren't overly large for her hands.

Go from there.