"Managing" An Anti-Gun Spouse.

[Alpha Sierra]

I've never understood why men get involved with women who possess major philosophical differences. I can understand the initial attraction, but a lifetime commitment with someone who's views are diametrically opposed to your own? T&A only goes so far and eventually falls like leaves in autumn, then what's left?. I've been married for thirty one years and don't see that changing any time soon. I don't let my wife do anything any more then she lets me, we're our own people not the others mouthpiece. If we'd had radically different beliefs we never would have gotten together in the first place, or at least stayed together.

Tell your friends to turn in their man cards along with their guns. You also need to provide them with directions to the sex change capital of the world: Trinidad, Colorado. If they're going to act like pussies they might as well have one.

We need a like button

[Alpha Sierra]

The best thing you can do is lay down the law and say "this is how it is". Either she'll leave or - much more likely - she'll respect you for having a set of balls.

When I got into guns, that's what happened. My wife did not want them at all. I said I am doing this and that's that. She eventually got over it. Doesn't want to shoot any of them, but doesn't give a crap what I buy, sell, or shoot so long as the family budget is A-OK.

BTW, that happened 10 years into our marriage and we just rolled over the 25 yr mark.

[23JAZ]

Funny thread. If my wife didn't like guns then we would not have been married. Yes, it was that important to me.

This is a great topic. My wife was not a big fan of guns either. However she understands that she isn't a big fan of them because they scare her, because she doesn't know enough about them (she actually came out and said that). First thing I did when I heard that was take her to the range and teach her everything I know (took 10 mins). Now she isn't carrying one but she is talking about it and has actually asks if we could go shooting together pretty regularly.
All that being said if she wasn't openminded about it or just straight up said no guns in my house or around me, she would of never have seen date number 2. (Married 10 years last August)

[EricM]

If there's truly no room for discussion or compromise, and it's their way or the highway, opt for the highway. Otherwise, two mature adults should be able to talk about something like this, exploring the reasons they and their partner feel the ways they do. Understanding each other will likely lead to progress. Yes, owning guns or not owning guns is a binary proposition, but that doesn't mean the way to go is to just declare that your point of view is valid and your partner's is not.

My wife is no fan of guns. She wishes they didn't exist -- all of them, not mine specifically -- but she's realistic enough to realize that they do, they're not going away, and gun control isn't the solution. I did not own a gun when we got married. When I did purchase one, I did not have her enthusiastic support, but she understood it was something I wanted to do...she never said "no you're not getting a gun", I never said "I'm getting one no matter what you think". Initially, she didn't want to see it (i.e. pretending it wasn't there), so I respected that, for example closing the door to my office/workshop when cleaning a gun. I think it's important to demonstrate you are serious about safety in terms of secure storage and gun handling to negate the "guns are dangerous" fears.

Over time, it's been as RoyGBiv said - "They might not warm up to a full embrace, but once the fear is gone it'll take on the characteristics of a more 'normal' hobby." I no longer close the door when there's a gun on my desk. We talk about how my trip to the range was, how the match went. We watch Top Shot together. Last year, my wife asked to learn how to shoot, with the goal of protecting herself and our daughter when at home. We started with a safety brief and blue guns at home, moved to some dry fire and basic manipulations, then at a quiet range shot an M&P 22 followed by various 9mm pistols. She shot very well and claimed my USP Compact as her own.

In my experience, carrying a gun is likely to be the most difficult issue to deal with. I didn't initially buy a gun in order to carry it, so it was a separate process that came about a few years later. My wife was absolutely opposed to it, and I didn't push it right away. We had a number of discussions about it; one key thing IMO was narrowing the focus from vague fears about "everyone running around with a gun" to the specific choice at hand, me carrying one responsibly. It came to the point where I felt we fully understood each other on the issue but I recognized I would never get explicit approval from her, so without making a big deal of it I simply made her aware that it was something I would be doing.

Not long ago my wife was waiting somewhere with our young daughter and an older man commented on my daughter's beautiful blue eyes, that she was going to be a heartbreaker, and how we would have a hard time keeping the boys away from her. My wife responded, "That's why daddy owns a bunch of guns", and walked away. She may never like guns, but I think we've reached an understanding.

[Keydet08]

The third date with my now wife included watching a 3gun match I was shooting. Sink or swim...

[hurley842002]

I haven't read every response, so maybe it had been said already.

The key is laying everything out on the table while in the dating phase, that way there are no surprises, take me or leave me. I wouldn't marry someone that doesn't accept 100% of me, including hobbies and the like. One of the first things my wife and I talked about were politics and associated topics. We don't agree on a couple things, but are completely on the same page over 2a issues.

[JustOneGun]

While ive done my best to avoid dating such women , many of my gun owning friends find themselves "limited" once the engagement/marriage happens. A few .mil buddies are totally forbidden by their wives from owning firearms-one confided in me that he kept his guns with a pal to dodge that problem.

Whats a man to do about the issue,hypnotism excluded?

Don't let your buddy's wife find out you are "managing her". She may make him divorce you.

[ranger]

Men marry hoping the women will not change, women marry men hoping they can change them -that old joke never works. This type of mismatch on gun ownership rarely - never? - work out.

[Kyle Reese]

Marry a chick who likes guns. Life's too short to try and change someone who is fundamentally opposed to private gun ownership.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[CCT125US]

We dated, there was a test, she passed. I asked, she said yes. She likes purses and crap from Tiffany's. I enjoy guns, we both prefer HK. Life is simple, don't make it hard.