Negligent Discharges

[Yung]

I use the BarrelBlok for dry practice at home, as the act of installing it requires clearing the gun, and the act of uninstalling it is something I've internalized as 'loading' it, since I have a dedicated practice/training gun identical to my carry gun that is always kept empty outside of practice. It is an excellent visual reminder that the pistol has been rendered inert for the duration it is being used.

For myself, the act of loading the gun must always be accompanied by verbalization, as I picked up from one of Mr. Werner's books.

This gun is loaded. Dry practice is over.

It helps me a lot to reinforce the idea that dry practice is a specific activity with a definite start and finish, just like with live practice, or a training class. Those also have their own ending procedures, along with their own negative consequences for continuing to draw a handgun and press the trigger. Failing to exercise this restraint in the past has made the difference between me staying hungry for the next session, versus disregarding whatever was just accomplished in the previous session due to feeling burned out.

[HCountyGuy]

Glad nobody was hurt.

I’ve made a point to tell myself after loading the gun back up following dry fire, “the gun is LOADED and practice is DONE.” I’ve felt the urge to do one more rep after loading up, so I know it’s important to do something that helps remind yourself that the variables have changed.

[11B10]

I'm grateful for all your shared thoughts and words - especially Clusterfrack's opening line. After much thought, I know where my dryfire situational awareness broke down. I had been practicing shooting from a kneeling position and my creaky knees were toast. The ad/nd occurred when I was in transition from kneeling to a standing position, something that's difficult without any firearms. However, any and all points have been rendered moot as I've made the decision to sell my firearms. Please hear me out as I know everyone will have an opinion. Some pertinent facts: First, and by far the most heavily weighted fact - my wife has never understood the original reason I bought them. She is of the mindset that we'll never need them. Indeed, her biggest fear has always been somehow, some way, harm could come to our granddaughter - a thought that's set in stone in her mind. She has been "more afraid since the guns arrived than before." No amount of calm, earnest, educational explaining has ever worked. Then, there's the totally anti-gun mindset of my son and his wife (parents of the aforementioned granddaughter). This was beaten to death in a prior thread, started nearly 4 years ago called "telling the family we are armed." Not gonna get back into that now. I will be 72 in a couple months and the no-win decision became: deciding between keeping my guns with what I know to be the only logical lifestyle - somewhere else...or...staying here with a spouse who feels she'll be safer now (pretty frickin ironic, isn't it?) for the rest of my days. As I told her - this is a decision I pray we never regret. I ask for you to put yourself in my life before any posting.

[Clusterfrack]

Her reaction is understandable. Family comes first.

You may be able to earn back her trust, but it will take time. Meanwhile, I recommend doing what she asks. This isn't worth breaking up your marriage over, unless you were already having problems before you shot the wall.

OC spray can be a good defensive tool.

After a few weeks, maybe discuss taking a handgun class, maybe together?

[11B10]

Her reaction is understandable. Family comes first.

You may be able to earn back her trust, but it will take time. Meanwhile, I recommend doing what she asks. This isn't worth breaking up your marriage over, unless you were already having problems before you shot the wall.

OC spray can be a good defensive tool.

After a few weeks, maybe discuss taking a handgun class, maybe together?

Cluster, I thank you for taking the time to help. Your trust earning suggestion is logical, but as you have already figured out, there's been problems for more years than I suspect you've been alive. You're also correct that this "isn't worth breaking up my marriage." I used to think the following was a copout - not anymore. Someday, you'll remember these words....You literally have to be in my shoes to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. When you reach a certain age, you don't want to go through yet another massive overhaul of your life....had too many already. Even as recently as ten years ago? I would have been long gone.

Your sincere recommendations about OC spray and classes are things that have always been part of my life. Been carrying spray, several different firearms, Benchmade knives, along with the requisite brighter-is-better flashlights, and studying for a long time. The last couple years, I've been deep into studying human behavior, situational awareness, etc. through many books and lurking here on PF. The worst part? What was a passing fancy with firearms became true love.

Here's where the old guy gives advice. Learn from my mistakes. Never compromise yourself. Be....you at all times.

[Robinson]

@11B10 - I'm glad no one was hurt as a result of your accident. It is a serious matter for sure.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you stay around -- you can still make valuable contributions to the forum. You seem like a good guy and you are doing what you think is right in your heart based on the entirety of your situation. Guns are tools, they are not family.

Those of us who have spouses/partners who support our choices as firearms owners should feel thankful. I believe it is immoral to deny any free man (or woman) the use of personal weaponry, but many do not see it that way.

[RJ]

@11B10 Thanks for your courage and choice to post in this thread after what happened.

Just a couple things from the heart. You are ok. Your family is ok. That, really is the main thing. No one here will judge you on whatever decision you make for the good of your family. We are all human, and none of us have any idea what your personal situation is like.

I hope you stay around and participate in the forum. I think you add a lot of wisdom and perspective. We'd miss it.

Rich

[11B10]

@11B10 Thanks for your courage and choice to post in this thread after what happened.

Just a couple things from the heart. You are ok. Your family is ok. That, really is the main thing. No one here will judge you on whatever decision you make for the good of your family. We are all human, and none of us have any idea what your personal situation is like.

I hope you stay around and participate in the forum. I think you add a lot of wisdom and perspective. We'd miss it.

Rich

Rich, everyone here at PF, you are the only ones who can understand WHAT happened, WHY it happened, and most importantly, what it means, what it must feel like, to voluntarily relinquish the most important tools you own. Only you folks can appreciate what I must feel for my wife - in order to do that. I know she doesn't. To be fair, she can't. It is my opinion that, for most gun owners, the line between just owning a firearm and getting a rush each time you see it, gradually becomes blurred, then disappears altogether. I know it did for me. My "collection" never had more than 3 guns in it. One of the guns I'm giving up now was one that I saved for - for over a year! From the minute I shot a buddy's M&P340, I had to have one, finally taking one home, one day after Christmas. That same buddy is a self-proclaimed "wheelie freak." When he checked out my 340, he just looked at me and said: "Dude, if you don't buy this, I'm gonna!" He was the first call I made about the 340. As they say, timing is everything (or is it location?). Anyway, his treasurer, Mrs. Wheelie Freak, told him he's overextended, whatever that means. I'm probably gonna take it to the FFL where I bought it and have them sell it on consignment.

Hey, I'm a hopeless believer and I believe everything happens for a reason. What that reason is here...currently escapes me. I'm trying to get not too far down about this, but it's a real struggle, fellas. Just putting them back in their cases hurt. As I sit here, I feel naked. Too much information?

RJ, re: your saying I add a lot of wisdom and perspective here - I know I'm old and have always been a b.s. artist. Thanks!

[fixer]

I recommend a dedicated training gun that only sees ammo on the range.

Here is my set up to avoid this

dedicated training gun/beater gun--that only sees ammo on the range.
use range-dedicated mags for dummy rounds
after any interruption of practice, I "reset" by press checking the gun.
I also sub-consciously engage the safety if I'm coming off target. This is a leftover training win from using and de-cocking B92s and PX4 for so long. This also clues me in sub consciously that my trigger finger needs to be in register.
I let my wife know I'm practicing and she implores me to ensure I have dummy rounds
And periodically she will call out to remind me of this. Sometimes if she has to be in the area behind me she will demand I press check and show her the dummy rounds.
When training I sometimes stop myself periodically, mid draw, to observe the dummy round in chamber with press check. I would consciously ask myself, "you sure there is dummy rounds in there?"
After I'm done, I put the training gun away, empty.
mags are stored in a range bag. sometimes I store the dummy rounds loose to further enhance to my mind that I'm dry practicing.

In all of this...I consciously remind myself and imagine the flashing blue lights that are sure to come if I screw up.


The dedicated training gun can go a very long way to correcting this. I know times are tough for everyone, so maybe try to find a used version of what you are carrying. Even if it isn't ideal but close enough. Like a beat up g17 for g19 carry. For a 1911 get a used RIA.

My wife is heavily invested in me being a good pistol shooter. She is also heavily invested in not having holes in her walls, or worse.

[deflave]

When I was 15 or 16 I had a negligent discharge in my parent's basement. I was going to reload some ammo for my dad's .22 Hornet. To this day I'm not real sure where I fucked up, but I did. Thankfully the muzzle was in a safe direction. I had the crosshairs on a phone mounted wall and thought I'd give that Ruger a slow squeeze before setting up the press. BANG!

I definitely hit the phone...

I stood there frozen. I didn't move or make a sound. I heard the basement door slowly open and my dad's voice. "Travis?" Was all he said. I had never heard concern like that in anyone's voice before. I replied "I'm ok dad. I just fucked up." He came downstairs slowly and his relief somehow squelched his legendary temper. He told me to step away from the reloading bench for a day or two but quickly reassured me that I fucked up, and not to do so again.

To this day I remember the tone in his voice when he called my name. It bolstered my previously flawless record of safe gun handling and it has never happened again (thank God.) I'm eternally grateful for my parent's patience and understanding because they could have just as easily ruined me from firearms for the rest of my life.

Ironically enough, my dad was shot in the thumb with a 22LR during an accident as a child. One of his friends was dry firing a pistol toward the ceiling as my dad pointed something out to another friend. You would think this would have made my dad hyper sensitive to the issue but it actually had the opposite effect. He spoke to the boy that shot him well into adulthood and my dad's parents remained cordial with the shooter's parents.

I have raised my kids around firearms and I have taught my wife to hunt and shoot. One of my rules for carrying afield with rifles is "cold chambers." On one particular morning my wife and I found a decent mulie. I told her to make it hot and let him have it. She got as far as making it hot, but not the letting him have it. A quick up and over a small knoll and one more opportunity... But nope. The gods did not smile upon us this day. "Oh well" says I, and back to the truck we go.

As I tumble down the two-track and suggest another area I'm met with a rather overwhelming BOOM!.

My brain didn't process things immediately but then my nose filled with that beautiful smokeless gunpowder smell that we all know and love. I looked at my wife and asked "are you ok?" She said nothing. I yelled "ARE YOU OK? ARE YOU SHOT?" She said quietly "No."

I quickly pulled over and looked under my rig for damage (we were in the middle of nowhere and no cell coverage) as I did so I could hear a faint leak coming from the front passenger side. I jumped back into the truck and pulled it forward about 200yds onto level ground. My wife stood there. Not saying a word. I changed the tire.

As I threw the tire, jack and iron back into the truck and slid her rifle into the back seat I simply asked "You understand the whole cold chamber rule now?" She said nothing. She looked like somebody threw a hand grenade at her and missed. On the drive back to town I tried to inject some humor into the situation so I said "Please excuse the draft on your side, my truck has a hole in the floorboard." She burst into tears. Which really bothered me because I had thought what I said was pretty funny.

With that, we called it a day because she was so visibly shaken.

However, I did make her get back after it the next morning. The idea being that you should get back on your dirt bike after the first time you wreck.

Endeavor to persevere, as it were:



I am career law enforcement. Holding the title of Firearms Instructor for 8 years. I was active duty Marine Corps for four years and held a secondary MOS as a range coach. I've been around a lot of shooters, some that shouldn't be shooting but that's not my decision so I work with what I have.

My personal policy for my USPSA gun is that it is just that. It's my USPSA gun. The only time it ever goes hot, is on the firing line. Does this guarantee against anything? Not at all. But it's one extra measure I like to take toward safety when it comes to dry fire practice. I have plenty of other stuff for work and home defense.

Why do I share all this? Because I think everyone deserves a path to redemption and I hate to see anyone give up their firearms for any reason.

Besides, everyone should get divorced at least once or twice.


Best to you (regardless of what you decide),
Travis