Soldier Stories.

I hope the thread title isn’t misleading. I never had the opportunity to serve. (another story I’ll be glad to PM) I did grow up a military dependent and have some sense of that life. I loved the stories my dad and his buddies would tell when they got together. I know there are a lot of vets on this board. I’d love to hear your stories and takes on military life. That’s what I’m hoping to get started with this thread. Tell us what it was like, what memorable events are you willing to share. I’ll start out with two stories I remember from my father.

He was a twenty years soldier, a Green Beret stationed 100 miles south of the Fulda gap during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and the assignation of President Kennedy. We got a lot of calls that he was “CQ.” Tom Clancy probably couldn’t write a story that matched his actual life. But the stories he told most, and the ones I remember, were of the tribulations of being a garrison soldier in peacetime. Army red tape was the stuff of legend in the 60’s.

The first story I’ll relate took place at Ft. Seal Oklahoma. His MOS was artillery, though he always said he wouldn’t have known which end of the tube to put on the ground. He was an instructor for the Sargent, and later Corporal missiles. When he accepted duty at his new post, he had to sign off that all equipment was accounted for. There was the usual peg board with each tool hanging in front of a silhouette of said tool. But one tool, ( a stator adjustment tool) had a shoe tag. A shoe tag was a card, issued by the motor pool stating that that piece of equipment was in their custody, being repaired. The problem was, the shoe tag was several months out of date. Dad checked with the motor pool and they basically shrugged their shoulders, said they had no paper work on the tool and disavowed the shoe tag. Dad refused to sign off on it and his predecessor apparently caught some grief over it. There were some hard feeling over this as a lot of people though he should have just signed off on it and left it to the next guy. Not dad. He always had a reputation as hard ass.
About a year and-a-half later, he was in the motor pool one day and noticed a tool that looked suspiciously like something that would be used on the Sargent missile. He asked the motor Sargent about it. “Yep,” the guy said. "It just came in last week. Says’ it's a stator adjuster, but damn if I can figure out what the hell I’d use it on.”
(A stator in the motor pool context is basically an alternator. In a missile, it is a gyroscope. It is similar in that an alternator turns motion into electricity, while a gyroscope stator turns electricity into motion; the spinning of a gyroscope. Obviously a tool designed for one would look slightly like one designed for the other.)
Documentation that accompanied the thing notated that this was the first of 20 units, manufactured a month before.
I’ll cut to the chase here. The missile used a gyroscope that was calibrated at the factory. Somebody in an ivory tower decided that the troops deploying the weapon in the field should have the ability to set the gyroscope stator. They issued the directive and that tool became part of the required inventory. Unfortunately, the actual manufacture of said tool took its place in line and would not be available for some time. (A year and -a-half if turns out.) In the mean time, A shoe tag was issued to satisfy inventory until the tool was manufactured and delivered. The First Sargent probably accepted the shoe tag, then woke up the next morning to that day’s ton of paper work, exercises, and PFCs more full of spit and piss than common sense. Somehow, six months later, he couldn’t remember why the hell he had a shoe tag for a piece of equipment the motor pool had no knowledge of. Basically he got jammed up because he didn’t have a tool that wouldn’t be built for another year and-a-half.

The next story also took place at Ft. Seal Oklahoma. During one field exercise, a Second Lieutenant found a rifle out on the woods. I don’t remember the specific rifle, but I’m sure it was a military issue weapon, probably lost on a previous exercise. Lieutenant peach fuzz runs up to the grizzled E7 exclaiming “Sargent, Look what I found!” It was a rusty piece of crap that had been exposed to the elements for more than a year and would never be usable again.
“Yer sir,” dad told him. “There is a bend in that stream over there about a hundred yards north. If you’ll just drop it in there, it’s deep enough I don’t think it will ever be found.”
Lieutenant Peach Fuzz was aghast and lectured the First Sargent on the responsibility of military personnel to take care of and report on military equipment.
According to dad, the only sin worse in the Army of the 1960’s than NOT having a piece of equipment the Army paper work said you should have, was having a piece of equipment you didn’t have documentation for.
According to dad, two years later, as he was transitioning out, he ran across that same lieutenant, still trying to put enough oil and elbow grease on that thing to get it pass inspection. Apparently, having found it, it was now his responsibility and needed to pass inspection. There didn’t seem to be anybody he could turn the thing over to. Apparently he was getting written up at every inspection because of the condition of a piece of equipment in his custody. “I wish I’d listened to you Sarg.” he told him miserably.