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View Full Version : Feeling playfully curmudgeonly and figured I'd share a professional curmudgeon's joke



BaiHu
09-13-2013, 08:06 AM
The 'Green' Thing

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."
The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the 'green thing' in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribbling's. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.
But too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the "green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart young person...

We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off...especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smartass who can't make change without the cash register telling them how much.

TGS
09-13-2013, 10:42 AM
The whole thing is pointless, because that old generation designed and implemented all the wasteful products the young people use today.

RoyGBiv
09-13-2013, 11:22 AM
The whole thing is pointless, because that old generation designed and implemented all the wasteful products the young people use today.

That's the spirit. :p

secondstoryguy
09-13-2013, 12:12 PM
Short of cold fusion or some other technological breakthrough(and even then its pretty hopeless) there is no amount of "green" technology that will offset population growth. The most green thing humanity could do is implement worldwide population control and eugenics.

MichaelD
09-13-2013, 01:14 PM
Short of cold fusion or some other technological breakthrough(and even then its pretty hopeless) there is no amount of "green" technology that will offset population growth. The most green thing humanity could do is implement worldwide population control and eugenics.

Are you volunteering to be population-controlled?

secondstoryguy
09-13-2013, 01:37 PM
Are you volunteering to be population-controlled?

In the not so distant future all of humanity is going to be start being volunteered for population control whether they like it or not(mother nature is a harsh mistress). And yes, I would happily make that sacrifice if it was implemented across the world and for the good of mankind. When eugenics is mentioned, someone always gets there tailfeathers ruffled and throws out a quib about personal freedom without realizing that freedom and resources are directly related.

MDS
09-13-2013, 03:05 PM
Wait, your car only has 300HP? :confused:

Bigguy
09-13-2013, 04:03 PM
Short of cold fusion or some other technological breakthrough(and even then its pretty hopeless) there is no amount of "green" technology that will offset population growth. The most green thing humanity could do is implement worldwide population control and eugenics.

Thou speakest that which is not to be said!

I used to marvel at being born in the technological age. Of all of the humans who have lived through out time, what were the odds that I'd be one of the lucky ones born after the turn of the 20th century?
Turns out I didn't even really beat the odds. I did an article back sometime in the 1990s when the world population reached six billion. It was estimated then, that half of all human who ever lived were alive at that time. The world population is presently estimated at just over seven billion. There are no truly hard numbers, but if we assume that the average weight of a human is slightly more than 100 lb., then the total human biomass is a little more that 700 trillion tons. I doubt there is any other single species that comes any where close to our percentage of the total available biomass. Certainly nothing else in our ecological niche. (We are out weighed several time by the total mass for all bacteria, and by the total mass of all insects, and probably several other simpler life forms including floral species. But among those species are divergent forms, some living on the by products or waste of others, balancing out the demands on the biosphere. All components of the human biomass consume basically the same resources and produces the same waste.) We are having an effect on the planet by the shear weight of our numbers alone. By the weight of our weight, if you will.
Other species occasionally get slightly out of balance with what the biosphere can supply. Nature will take corrective measures with disease, famine, or predation. We've managed to put off the day of reckoning with the technology our brains have allowed us to develop. But most probably we are only delaying that day. And the longer we delay its arrival, the more traumatic its impact will be.
Anyway, that's just my take on it. Ya'll have a good weekend. I'll see you here Monday if we all make it.

Drang
09-13-2013, 05:54 PM
The whole thing is pointless, because that old generation designed and implemented all the wasteful products the young people use today.

http://www.taurusarmed.net/forums/attachments/firing-line/58227d1371612742-what-your-legal-actions-if-mob-surrounds-your-house-doesn-t-leave-funny-photo-vn85zx6qca-get-off-my-lawn.jpg

Joe in PNG
09-13-2013, 07:58 PM
Ya know, the funny thing about the whole Immediate-Statist-Control-Needed-To-Avert-Imminent-Problem-(fillintheblank) is that:
1) The statist tend to get a wee bit bit more focused on the "Control" thing and tend to ignore the problem they're supposed to be fixing
2) The Imminent Problem tends to often be a bit overstated.

David Armstrong
09-14-2013, 10:06 AM
Harrumph!! A true curmudgeon can remember walking 23 miles to school one way on top of prickly pear cactus with no shoes, having to go uphill in both directions, plodding through waist-deep snow when it was 110 degrees, having to fight off the wolves with a live armadillo you had to catch yourself, and once you got to school you had to carve your spelling words into a block of wood using only your fingernail and got to eat a sawdust sandwich for lunch. :mad: grumble, grumble, grumble......

Drang
09-14-2013, 06:44 PM
Harrumph!! A true curmudgeon can remember walking 23 miles to school one way on top of prickly pear cactus with no shoes, having to go uphill in both directions, plodding through waist-deep snow when it was 110 degrees, having to fight off the wolves with a live armadillo you had to catch yourself, and once you got to school you had to carve your spelling words into a block of wood using only your fingernail and got to eat a sawdust sandwich for lunch. :mad: grumble, grumble, grumble......

LOOOOOOG-zhery! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13JK5kChbRw)
:cool:

Tamara
09-14-2013, 07:11 PM
And yes, I would happily make that sacrifice if it was implemented across the world and for the good of mankind.

It'll never start without some brave people setting an example.

(Can I have your stuff?)

Chuck Haggard
09-15-2013, 11:11 AM
I grew up with a dad that was born into the depression era, his parents died when he was 2 and he was raised in orphanages and eventually pulled from one by his oldest sister. He joined the Army at 16 and went straight to the Korean War, eventually serving 29 years active, with three tours of Vietnam thrown in. Got shot seven different times.

Mom was born in 1939, in a house built in 1398, in a small village in Germany, had lights but still had an outhouse. Could recall her village being hit by off target bombers, and the Nazis confiscating almost everything people had for the war effort.
Her dad was drafted into the Wehrmacht and since he wasn't a Nazi party member he got crappy assignments, like being in Stalingrad. He was a POW at one point after surrendering to the Brits in Norway. The family was in Hesse province, he escaped from the POW camp at the war's end because they weren't letting anybody out, and had to walk home, from the Oslo area. Took him six months.

I got a lot of "when I was a kid" stories, and no way I would ever be able to top any of them.

BaiHu
09-15-2013, 12:33 PM
Damn tpd, that's an impressive story, thanks for sharing.

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