US Gov't to air-drop toxic mice on Guam

[TGS]

Reminiscent of the medieval times when they would catapult infected dead bodies over castle walls as a form of biological warfare. Out of respect for their service rendered to the nation, I sure do hope these mice are posthumously awarded their jump wings.

http://news.yahoo.com/us-govt-air-drop-toxic-065326367.html

I can only imagine what the conversation in the office about this sounded like. "Yeah, we'll just air-drop a bunch of toxic mice on the island. What could go wrong!?"

[NickA]

And they've been working on the plan for ten years. Wow.
But we wouldn't want the island to capsize from the weight of all those snakes ;)

[Byron]

Obligatory:


SKINNER: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
LISA: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
SKINNER: No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
LISA: But aren't the snakes even worse?
SKINNER: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
LISA: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
SKINNER: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

[TGS]

Obligatory:


SKINNER: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
LISA: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
SKINNER: No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
LISA: But aren't the snakes even worse?
SKINNER: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
LISA: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
SKINNER: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

Hahahahaha! Awesome!

Well, not really awesome because it's so true. We might be invoking our own Mao-ist "4 Pests" campaign. Which is even more funny (but not really), given a comparison between Obama's self-destructive hope and change bullshit compared to Mao's Great Leap Forward.

[EMC]

Reminds me of WWII when they tested attaching incendiary devices to bats to target wooden structures.

[LittleLebowski]

You'd think they would hide the mice in a giant, wooden bunny.

[Kyle Reese]

And they've been working on the plan for ten years. Wow.
But we wouldn't want the island to capsize from the weight of all those snakes ;)

I think the added weight of all those mice will, in fact, cause Guam to capsize (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs23CjIWMgA)...

[Corlissimo]

You'd think they would hide the mice in a giant, wooden bunny.

And if that failed they'd move to the large wooden badger.

[Mitchell, Esq.]

You get from a bit. It's the only way to be sure.

[NickA]

I think the added weight of all those mice will, in fact, cause Guam to capsize (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs23CjIWMgA)...

Hence the smiley. It's really saying something that with all the garbage that comes out of politicians' mouths, that has stuck with me.

[Fly320s]

You get from a bit. It's the only way to be sure.


Nuke it from orbit? Talk to text translation or a bad case of auto-correct?

[fuse]

Nuke it from orbit? Talk to text translation or a bad case of auto-correct?

It's Friday. He's lawyer drunk.

Like regular drunk, but from stuff you've never heard of and can't afford.

[TommyG]

fetchez la vache!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hunter Rose]

Laugh all you want, but the campaign against the brown tree snake seems to be working. First time I was in Guam about 9 years ago, there were no birds to be found. Very weird to be on a tropical island with no birds. Last time I was there a couple years ago numerous songbirds had returned.

The brown tree snake is mean little evil fucker too, so I have no issues with them wiping it out on Guam. They've been good about killing the snakes in the inhabited areas, the "para-mice toxic commandos" (TM pending) are just to carry the fight to the snake's jungle layers that are otherwise inaccessable.

[TGS]

Laugh all you want, but the campaign against the brown tree snake seems to be working. First time I was in Guam about 9 years ago, there were no birds to be found. Very weird to be on a tropical island with no birds. Last time I was there a couple years ago numerous songbirds had returned.

The brown tree snake is mean little evil fucker too, so I have no issues with them wiping it out on Guam. They've been good about killing the snakes in the inhabited areas, the para-mice toxic commandos are just to carry the fight to the snake's jungle layers that are otherwise inaccessable.

I never doubted it would work. I don't think anyone else did, either.

There always seems to be unintended consequences to playing god, however. For instance, the reintroduction of wolves into Wyoming and how the wolves are now killing off livestock, as well as killing off their own food supply in their natural environment. Woops. Now we need to cull the wolf population. Again.

So, I'm not a wildlife management expert, but I don't think it takes an expert to figure out that by killing off the snakes (or severely reducing them) you're going to have a cascade of effects. The snakes aren't just going to die and everything be dandy.....there will be a power vacuum in the food chain, and something else is going to step up and become the next problem (reference Byron's post).

No different than deposing of a dictator, really.

[Hunter Rose]

There always seems to be unintended consequences to playing god, however. For instance, the reintroduction of wolves into Wyoming and how the wolves are now killing off livestock, as well as killing off their own food supply in their natural environment. Woops. Now we need to cull the wolf population. Again.

So, I'm not a wildlife management expert, but I don't think it takes an expert to figure out that by killing off the snakes (or severely reducing them) you're going to have a cascade of effects. The snakes aren't just going to die and everything be dandy.....there will be a power vacuum in the food chain, and something else is going to step up and become the next problem (reference Byron's post).

No different than deposing of a dictator, really.

Incorrect. The brown tree snake is not indigenous, it was introduced from farther east via boat or plane. By eradicating it they're merely trying to remove an animal that never should have been there to begin with. No bad effects are going to happen if the brown tree snake dies because the island already had its natural balance.

Wolves is not a good comparison. A more close comparison would be the pythons in the everglades where they have no predators. If you managed to kill all the pythons, nothing detrimental would happen to the everglades as they never should have been there in the first place.

[TGS]

Incorrect. The brown tree snake is not indigenous, it was introduced from farther east via boat or plane. By eradicating it they're merely trying to remove an animal that never should have been there to begin with. No bad effects are going to happen if the brown tree snake dies because the island already had its natural balance.

Wolves is not a good comparison. A more close comparison would be the pythons in the everglades where they have no predators. If you managed to kill all the pythons, nothing detrimental would happen to the everglades as they never should have been there in the first place.

I don't understand how that changes the fact that they currently are there, and are currently part of the ecosystem.

[BaiHu]

If we just change the weather so it's really cold in Guam, then the locals can just walk around and pick up the hibernating snakes and send them to a zoo in Australia. What could possibly go wrong with introducing winter? :p

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2

[seabiscuit]

I don't understand how that changes the fact that they currently are there, and are currently part of the ecosystem.

I think the point is that the ecosystem was in a preferable equilibrium before the snakes arrived. Removing the snakes should cause a return to the previous ecosystem.

Assuming the snakes are the only variable. Which is unlikely.

To me, this seems like a pretty well thought-out plan. It's not like a terrorist organization, where the power vacuum needs to be filled. Unless something new is introduced, nothing will be capable of taking the snakes' spot.

The big ifs are whether or not pre-snake Guam was actually preferable and if the snakes reduce the population of undesirable species along with the desirable species (birds).

And are we the ones who should decide what's desirable and what isn't?

[Mitchell, Esq.]

It's Friday. He's lawyer drunk.

Like regular drunk, but from stuff you've never heard of and can't afford.

No.

It wad auto co-erection...

Damm smartass phone.