Joe in PNG
03-13-2025, 06:50 PM
Ian of Lawdog fame is writing a series on impact weapons, with his usual mix of experience and humor:
"Flexible Impact Weapons", part 1. (https://thelawdogfiles.substack.com/p/flexible-impact-weapons-part-1)
Come a couple of months later, and I roll up on one of our Frequent Fliers, drunk and berserk. During the course of festivities, I wind up applying the baton in the approved manner, front-hand and back-hand to his extended left leg.
Well, sort of. The front-hand went swimmingly, but the back-hand was … missing something. And then I realized that my baton was also missing something — mainly the forward one-third. Apparently the adrenaline had turbo-charged everything to the point that I was swinging the baton with a force that some corporate lawyer sitting in a air-conditioned office somewhere had determined might cause legal issues, and so the slip-joint at the far end had failed — as designed — and the important bit had departed into the night, never to be seen again.
"Flexible Impact Weapons" part 2 (https://thelawdogfiles.substack.com/p/flexible-impact-weapons-part-2)
Most of your cheap, gun-show Chinese saps fall into this category because they don’t actually have a shank in them — and the leather isn’t the best. With no shank, when that cheap Chinese leather gives way, suddenly you’re not armed at a time when you really thought you needed to be armed. This is called “Being behind on the power curve” and can have a variety of less-than-optimal results. Like the expression on the Junior Leaguer’s face when you’re digging around her décolletage, looking for that Gun Show Special Sap you really need before the bipedal mastodon currently doing closing speed has a chance to get ahold of you, and make good on those anatomically-improbable-yet-gruesomely-fascinating promises.
Spend the extra money and get a sap from a reputable business. With a shank.
"Flexible Impact Weapons", part 1. (https://thelawdogfiles.substack.com/p/flexible-impact-weapons-part-1)
Come a couple of months later, and I roll up on one of our Frequent Fliers, drunk and berserk. During the course of festivities, I wind up applying the baton in the approved manner, front-hand and back-hand to his extended left leg.
Well, sort of. The front-hand went swimmingly, but the back-hand was … missing something. And then I realized that my baton was also missing something — mainly the forward one-third. Apparently the adrenaline had turbo-charged everything to the point that I was swinging the baton with a force that some corporate lawyer sitting in a air-conditioned office somewhere had determined might cause legal issues, and so the slip-joint at the far end had failed — as designed — and the important bit had departed into the night, never to be seen again.
"Flexible Impact Weapons" part 2 (https://thelawdogfiles.substack.com/p/flexible-impact-weapons-part-2)
Most of your cheap, gun-show Chinese saps fall into this category because they don’t actually have a shank in them — and the leather isn’t the best. With no shank, when that cheap Chinese leather gives way, suddenly you’re not armed at a time when you really thought you needed to be armed. This is called “Being behind on the power curve” and can have a variety of less-than-optimal results. Like the expression on the Junior Leaguer’s face when you’re digging around her décolletage, looking for that Gun Show Special Sap you really need before the bipedal mastodon currently doing closing speed has a chance to get ahold of you, and make good on those anatomically-improbable-yet-gruesomely-fascinating promises.
Spend the extra money and get a sap from a reputable business. With a shank.