Light at the end of the Tunnel, but only darkness behind

[AMC]

In a matter of a few weeks, I'll be just another private citizen again after 30 years wearing a star. In that time the profession has undergone tremendous changes....some good, some absolutely disastrous. The last few years have seen more of the latter unfortunately.

I started my career carrying a S&W Model 28 with 2 HKS speedloaders, Mace, a 26" wood baton, and a pair of handcuffs. Radios were the old MX bricks that had to be checked out at the beginning of the shift. Sometimes there weren't enough to go around, so only one partner got a radio. We also walked a lot of beats in neighborhoods not conducive to it because there weren't enough cars to go around. Dispatchers got frustrated calling a sector car for an 'A' priority emergency call, only to be told we'd respond as soon as the next bus showed up. Seriously.

Flash forward to today: cops have external vests with rifle plate options, semiautomatic pistols, nasty face melting pepper spray, lighter/smaller/ more capable radios, smart phones, body cameras, RCB collapsible batons, patrol rifles w/Aimpoint T2 sights. And even enough cars to go around....with ballistic panels in the doors!

That said, the changes to law and policy have been mostly detrimental to the performance of police work. Those of us in the profession know all too well that the actual "reform" that the profession needed was in the areas of recruiting and training. Those areas were either untouched, or further damaged by the meddling of academics or activists with an agenda that did not include public safety.

The last 4 years have been the only non-field position I've held in 30 years. I had high hopes for finally being able to impact training in a positive way. I think we did for awhile, but changing a culture takes longer, and takes the recruiting piece too. We dramatically improved the Academy firearms program, and this year finally got the opportunity to push those changes out for in service folks too. But the culture of "I'm a red hat. I don't need to show you. Do as I say" is very entrenched. There was resentment at the directive that you needed to be able to do and demonstrate what you asked people to do....every time. Part of it was lack of confidence. Part was just pure laziness. As I wind down, I see the laziness starting to again take hold. Efforts to interest my instructors in their own skill development fall on deaf ears. Most Police Firearms Instructors just don't really care about shooting when it comes right down to it. Sad but true.

I knew this was coming, and I've been making my peace with it. It's difficult though, to watch the learned helplessness take hold of the young guys still in the field. To watch the complete collapse of a 173 year old institution that you served for more than half your life. To watch the profession in many areas be dismantled by fools and malcontents.

I'm proud of what we did while we were doing it....but sad at watching the rot take hold. No builder would feel only pride and satisfaction watching a home he'd just finished be deliberately burned to the ground as he walked away. I wish I'd been able to make more lasting change. But we're only one small part of a crumbling institution. 565 sworn eligible to retire June 30. And resignations by young folks are outpacing retirements by almost 2 to 1. Several very 10-8 young cops, who I had a lot of hope for turning the institution around some day, told me in the last 2 days they're leaving.

I look forward to retirement. And I'm also heartbroken for the folks left behind. Sorry. The last few weeks have left me in a maudlin state for someone about to get the ultimate promotion.

[jnc36rcpd]

I wish I had something encouraging to say, but I really don't. I look back at my thirty-seven years with the city as a waste of time and effort. I did probably save the careers of two officers who were smart enough to migrate to the county police (which now has all sorts of issues). but everything else? Wow, what a wasted effort.]

At least we tried, brother. I guess there will be some interesting views in the rearview mirror. Not much out the windshield however.

[Magsz]

Ooof...

Six years in and I love my job. I am without a shadow of a doubt a product of the current environment. The old days of real police work are dead and gone, at least for now. Regardless of this, I do my job to the best of my abilities and I go to work every day with the mindset of "what can I do to positively influence my very small sphere?"

Thank you for all that you've done. I'm really sorry to see you go out with such a negative outlook on the future but I hardly blame you.

[DaBigBR]

You've nailed the issues with instructors on the head. My agency is small and there are seven instructors. There are two of us that pay our way to schools and are pushing the program forward. The other five guys are filling space and are largely only useful for scoring targets. Firearms instructor is a relatively "prestigious" assignment and too many people put in for it because it means time away from patrol at the range but they have little desire to better themselves or learn how to teach.

Congratulations on your retirement!

[Cory]

Not a leo. Chance I could be down the road. Former mil.

The mindset your talking about of being proud of what you've done and wondering what the point is at the same time reminds me SO MUCH of deployment. I was in Ramadi doing PSD for KLE from 2010 to 2011. Defintely proud of that time. But when Ramadi fell to Isis shortly after I wondered what the point was. It seemed like the whole thing was wasteful and useless and worse than how I left it.

The work and effort are the accomplishment. The end state isn't always the measure of success. You put in the real work and sweat, and hopefully influenced and contributed to others who will do the same. No matter the outcomes. Just because it's the right thing. Im content with that time in my life now. No doubt you will be too.

Congratulations on your pending retirement. Aserious accomplishment. What are your plans? Travel, fishing, woodworking?

[feudist]

I hung it up last month after 32 years.
It's like I've been living in a river of darkness for 3 decades. I didn't realize how deep down in it I was.
The sum of my work/life experiences were "horrifying and sad" according to a shrink I had to be interviewed by after an on duty assault. She also told me I was "numb."
I'm still decompressing
The last 3 weeks I've literally been practicing how to not be a cop.
It's like learning to walk again.
It is good not to wonder when you'll be volunteered as "Tribute" to the woke mob.
Wouldn't do it again.

[WobblyPossum]

Congratulations on making it to the finish line. You did your job honorably and to the best of your ability. What happens to your city and agency now is out of your hands. You’ve earned your retirement so enjoy it.

[Rick R]

I would tell the people working under me that law enforcement is like mining for diamonds. You dig thru tons of crap for the rare shiny moment. Hopefully you can look back and remember the good while forgetting most of the crap.

Congratulations on your next assignment in life, hopefully the most stress you encounter is learning to tie fishing knots with the readers we all need these days. Welcome to the world of old farts.

[Cheap Shot]

RESPECT!

And congrats

[blues]

Enjoy your retirement. You've earned it. Now it's up to others to carry the torch, or not.

[Rex G]

Enjoy being retired. Duty is finished. As blues just said, you have earned it, and, “Now, it is up to others to carry the torch. Or not.”

I have not been very optimistic, when I have seen some of the ones who are now carrying the torches. But, then, I felt the same about so many of my colleagues, when I was still working. I did my part. You have done yours. Let’s enjoy retirement.

[Beat Trash]

Enjoy your retirement.

I retired in January, after 29 years.

It’s taking a while for the concept to sink in. But I’m getting there.

[psalms144.1]

Congrats and welcome to the party! I've been retired for five months and four days, and still adjusting. No doubt you'll get there - thanks for all your time and trying to make things better!

[Mas]

AMC, thank you for your service. Enjoy your well earned retirement.

You have a great deal of knowledge to share. I hope you'll be thinking about doing so: private training, ILEETA, IALEFI...

[Suvorov]

Thank You for holding the line all those years. There are some of us in the Bay who do appreciate it and have deep respect for your service.

Oh and being a “civilian” in Kalifornia sucks. Better buy your non roster pistols while you still can! 😉

[AMC]

Thank You for holding the line all those years. There are some of us in the Bay who do appreciate it and have deep respect for your service.

Oh and being a “civilian” in Kalifornia sucks. Better buy your non roster pistols while you still can! 😉

I've spent more time in gun stores the last two months than I did in the previous 5 years!!!! If it's worth buying, buy 2!!!

[john c]

Those of us in the profession know all too well that the actual "reform" that the profession needed was in the areas of recruiting and training.


I definitely think recruiting and training have gone the wrong direction. Mainly for exogenous reasons. The desirability of the profession has fallen, even as the pay has gone up. Thus, we don't have the same quality of candidates, even though, in my opinion, the pay is very good these days. At least where I am.

We used to get 1000 applicants to boil it down to 70 or so qualified applicants. The top 20 or 30 of these got selected. Now we hire everyone who barely passes. Plus the ones who don't pass, but get waivers.

I don't know how to change this.

[BigDaddy]

I wish I had something encouraging to say, but I really don't. I look back at my thirty-seven years with the city as a waste of time and effort. I did probably save the careers of two officers who were smart enough to migrate to the county police (which now has all sorts of issues). but everything else? Wow, what a wasted effort.]

At least we tried, brother. I guess there will be some interesting views in the rearview mirror. Not much out the windshield however.

I feel sorry that you feel that way. I don't know how you can say that though. You probably don't even realize how many lives you had a positive impact on, how many people who are here today because of something you did that you may not even know about or realize. During your 37 year career I'm sure you made a difference and had a positive impact on the citizens of the City where you worked. I don't know how you couldn't.

[AMC]

I sent this to a young officer who was on my patrol team before I transferred to the range. She was one of those I hoped would someday turn the place around. She's an attorney, speaks 4 languages, great shooter, dedicated, compassionate but no nonsense. Exactly the kind of people we want as cops. Her husband is an officer here too, and also a great cop. The other day at Perishable Skills training on the range she told me they're leaving. Taking jobs with a Sheriffs office several counties away. These are the folks we're driving from the profession: the dedicated, competent people. What you're gonna be left with is people who couldn't hack the pace at Starbucks.

[john c]

I sent this to a young officer who was on my patrol team before I transferred to the range. She was one of those I hoped would someday turn the place around. She's an attorney, speaks 4 languages, great shooter, dedicated, compassionate but no nonsense. Exactly the kind of people we want as cops. Her husband is an officer here too, and also a great cop. The other day at Perishable Skills training on the range she told me they're leaving. Taking jobs with a Sheriffs office several counties away. These are the folks we're driving from the profession: the dedicated, competent people. What you're gonna be left with is people who couldn't hack the pace at Starbucks.

I sent that meme to several old beat partners. We sometimes talk about how we didn’t know how good we had it back in the 90s.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[curious]

congrats on surviving to retirement...

now while this sounds harsh, pull your pants up, get over yourself(es) and move on with life in general and your retirement $$ and go enjoy life, family, ad nauseam...

trust me, sitting around in a "woe is me" is extremely counter productive as there are tremendous opportunities to volunteer your services...yes volunteer to see if you enjoy the environment and experience...

also remember, thousands of folks retire from the military each year after traveling the world, w/ & w/o their families defending this country against real and imagined issues.

true story, brother was patrolman, then moved up, then chief, then decided the mayor was an idiot, so ran and then served two terms, then continued to function within the city's infrastructure...oh and didn't get into the wanta-be-LEOSA mentality whatsoever...

as a military enlisted retiree, the realization I was retired arrived immediately when I arrived at the aeroport of my new stateside job which I obtained while still on active duty at an overseas location & before i retired, so here I was looking around for my sponsor to help me navigate the place and it hit me...I'm on my own...and moved out accordingly.

again, congrats for surviving to retirement but aim your sight forward in lieu of behind you...

[AMC]

congrats on surviving to retirement...

now while this sounds harsh, pull your pants up, get over yourself(es) and move on with life in general and your retirement $$ and go enjoy life, family, ad nauseam...

trust me, sitting around in a "woe is me" is extremely counter productive as there are tremendous opportunities to volunteer your services...yes volunteer to see if you enjoy the environment and experience...

also remember, thousands of folks retire from the military each year after traveling the world, w/ & w/o their families defending this country against real and imagined issues.

true story, brother was patrolman, then moved up, then chief, then decided the mayor was an idiot, so ran and then served two terms, then continued to function within the city's infrastructure...oh and didn't get into the wanta-be-LEOSA mentality whatsoever...

as a military enlisted retiree, the realization I was retired arrived immediately when I arrived at the aeroport of my new stateside job which I obtained while still on active duty at an overseas location & before i retired, so here I was looking around for my sponsor to help me navigate the place and it hit me...I'm on my own...and moved out accordingly.

again, congrats for surviving to retirement but aim your sight forward in lieu of behind you...

While I thank you for the well intentioned advice, to say that the point was missed is an understatement. No "woe is me" here. I'm literally about to get a raise while retiring and will get paid MORE to not go to work. Pretty sweet deal. I will have more time, more money and far less risk and liability. I'm getting the nice end of this deal.

It is those left behind in the burning building that I lament.

Several folks have asked me what my post retirement plans are. I was offered a few jobs, one in the industry and one as a retiree part timer at my agency. Said no to both. I will have 40 hours available that I don't have now so the plan is:

10 hours more a week being a better husband.
10 hours more a week being a better father.
10 hours more a week dealing with house stuff I haven't been able to get to.
10 hours more a week just doing what I want to do.

That's the plan for now at least. Fortunate I don't have any crazy debt, and the wife just returned to Federal Service with decent money.

[curious]

While I thank you for the well intentioned advice, to say that the point was missed is an understatement. No "woe is me" here. I'm literally about to get a raise while retiring and will get paid MORE to not go to work. Pretty sweet deal. I will have more time, more money and far less risk and liability. I'm getting the nice end of this deal.

It is those left behind in the burning building that I lament.

Several folks have asked me what my post retirement plans are. I was offered a few jobs, one in the industry and one as a retiree part timer at my agency. Said no to both. I will have 40 hours available that I don't have now so the plan is:

10 hours more a week being a better husband.
10 hours more a week being a better father.
10 hours more a week dealing with house stuff I haven't been able to get to.
10 hours more a week just doing what I want to do.

That's the plan for now at least. Fortunate I don't have any crazy debt, and the wife just returned to Federal Service with decent money.

the standard mantra comes to mind ~ 'can you do absolutely anything about their plight?'

if not then it isn't your problem is it?

was one of the reasons my brother ran for mayor ~ to do something about it!

sidebar, when i retired, one defense organization wanted to pay me substantially below the going rate...when I ask what's going on...the VP of the organization said..."well you already have your military retirement so we adjusted your pay from us!" I smiled and muttered an obscenity discussing his heritage under my breath as I walked out of his office...sigh!

best of luck...

[Erick Gelhaus]

Congratulations!

[HCM]

Congratulations.

88572

[AMC]

Last day was today. Turned in the guns and gear and signed the papers. Got a new photo for my Old Dude ID. Over 30 years....more than half my life. Feels strange to not have the immediacy of the mission in front of me.

Said a lot of goodbyes to a lot of folks today. Got a lot of very gracious replies to my email announcing the new guy was taking over effective immediately. Spent some time reminiscing about old friends and partners, and kids I trained. There are folks I worked with, including ones I supervised, who I will always hear heroic music when I think of them, having witnessed their selfless courage. Guys and gals who i know would've ripped the classroom doors in Uvalde off with their teeth and run in with a handgun. Because I saw them do it in other situations. I will miss working with and leading such folks. You guys still wearing the badge....know that there is now one more citizen who looks up to you with awe.

Then I spent some time thinking of the ones we lost. Who didn't make it to this day, and never will. For them, I'm gonna enjoy every second of this....and hopefully bang the city for more than 30 years in retirement.

[UNM1136]

Thank you...

pat

[LockedBreech]

Hope your first day of full retirement is an awesome one today, AMC, lifting a coffee cup to you.

My dad retired after 23 years and a line of duty injury, and my only real advice is to stay active and happy. Get out there and do the shit you wished you were doing when you were working. Toss a line in the water for us poor saps that are still punching a clock. Godspeed.

[SoCalDep]

Congratulations! I’ll miss our emails back and forth but you have better things to think about now.