Man Threatens TSA Agents, Strips Naked & Masturbates

[HCM]

“It’s A Free Country’: Man Threatens TSA Agent’s Life, Throws Checkpoint Stanchion, Strips Naked & Masturbates, Charges State

https://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2021/11/16/naked-man-tsa-checkpoint-minneapolis-msp-airport-assault-masturbation/


MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) — Telling agents he “did not have to stop” because “it’s a free country,” a 44-year-old Minneapolis man is charged with threatening TSA workers at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. The charges state that he also swung a stanchion line post before throwing it at agents, taking his clothes off and masturbating.

..

Towers allegedly told one TSA employee that he was going to “kill” them. Officers gave him commands to stop and move away from the checkpoint, which he did not abide.

The charges state that’s when Towers was Tasered. He then swung his arms above his head in an attempt to hit an officer. Backup officers took Towers into custody while he continued to fight with them.

..

Surveillance video footage showed Towers punching and headbutting TV screens at the airport, taking his clothes off and masturbating. This happened about an hour before the incident at the checkpoint.

[blues]

Dick move.

[BehindBlueI's]

*5 minutes earlier*

"Oh shit, I still have all my <insert illicit drug of choice here> on me. Well, I'm not gonna just throw it away..."

[fly out]

"Surveillance video footage showed Towers punching and headbutting TV screens at the airport, taking his clothes off and masturbating. This happened about an hour before the incident at the checkpoint. "

!?

[Coyotesfan97]

There’s a hardened criminal.

[Balisong]

"Surveillance video footage showed Towers punching and headbutting TV screens at the airport, taking his clothes off and masturbating. This happened about an hour before the incident at the checkpoint. "

!?

He must have lit some candles, played some music, treated himself to a nice dinner first....

[RoyGBiv]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNkTN6mlZ4c

[Erik]

I guess the library was closed.

[RJ]

Please not be from Florida please not be from Florida please not be from Florida....Phew!

[Glenn E. Meyer]

He needs a stiff sentence. Hard labor?

[Clusterfrack]

This might be an exception to the Cartman Rule.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20211116/33547866ddf8aacb8fe2fc91b830e123.gif

[trailrunner]

I guess he rubbed the head agent the wrong way. Once convicted, he'll get handed the shaft.

[BobLoblaw]

According to the suspect, reports of the incident are a phallusy.

[AMC]

This entire forum has become blues.

[blues]

This entire forum has become blues.

You say that like it's a bad terrible thing. I'll bet it still beats getting Covid.

And my apologies. I couldn't help myself. I can't make any excuses for the other miscreants, however.

[TQP]

If you can't beat them, join them?

[Totem Polar]

Dude has an offbeat sense of humor…

[blues]

We Got the Beat...


https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61urWvaVsjL.jpg

[Cheap Shot]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9UZRqVpAAU

[blues]

First Runner-up


According to the suspect, reports of the incident are a phallusy.


But today's winner of the internet...



There’s a hardened criminal.


https://images.tmcnet.com/tmc/misc/articles/image/2019-aug/award-trophy-winner-champion-supersize.jpg

[Kyle Reese]

I figured that his name would have been Richard Cabeza.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[revchuck38]

We Got the Beat...


https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61urWvaVsjL.jpg

Damn, I had that album!

[MickAK]

Great, I have a flight tomorrow.

Is there a Managing Unknown Wangs course?

[MistWolf]

TSA agents advised the 44 year old Minneapolis man to come quietly. Instead the suspect ejaculated loudly “It’s a free country!”

“At first, he had himself well in hand,” explained the head agent. “But it soon turned into a sticky mess.”

Afterward, the suspect went limp and was taken into custody.

[Caballoflaco]

Great, I have a flight tomorrow.

Is there a Managing Unknown Wangs course?

I couldn’t decide if I wanted to make a Debbie Harry or a Madonna joke here. But, y’all get the drift.

[JohnO]

Maybe just maybe he was using "The Tug Toner"?


https://youtu.be/jby0I-zLj9c

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Should supply agents with that gadget that Dr. Pol takes to the male calves on the firm. Crunch!

[Clusterfrack]

It took 3 officers to subdue the man. "He wasn't a large guy, but he was 'jacked'" said one officer.

[Totem Polar]

It took 3 officers to subdue the man. "He wasn't a large guy, but he was 'jacked'" said one officer.

Most def not chicken. To be fair, he was at a TSA choke point.

[rdtompki]

Now I know why, when I retired, I swore I would never enter an airport again. Almost as bad as flip-flops, but not quite.

[Lex Luthier]

Minnesota: we're as weird as Florida, but much quieter and more polite, somehow.

[Coyotesfan97]

W00T!! Chicken dinner time. High praise thanks Blues

[Catshooter]

What a bunch of sick fucks!

And Blues, you sir are the leader of the pack!

Outfucking standing!

I really wanted to ask MickAK who said: "Great, I have a flight tomorrow." if he would be masterbating, but figured yeah, that would be a dick move.

[blues]

What a bunch of sick fucks!

And Blues, you sir are the leader of the pack!

Outfucking standing!

I resemble that remark!

[Catshooter]

I resemble that remark!

Horseshit! You are that remark!

[xray 99]

An egregious violation of the penile penal code.

[Not HighSpeed]

Any chance for an early release?

[blues]

Any chance for an early release?

I don't see a happy ending.

[Lex Luthier]

It wasn't just his record that was stained.

[JohnO]

Was anyone in danger? Did he get a shot off?

[Clusterfrack]

Is public masturbation a growing trend? On Tuesday while driving home from work, I saw a homeless guy dancing and jacking off in the bushes near a stoplight. Can't unsee that, unfortunately.

[MickAK]

Is public masturbation a growing trend?

I prefer to think of them as free 'Actually, let's not defund the police' billboards.

[pyrotechnic]

Is public masturbation a growing trend? On Tuesday while driving home from work, I saw a homeless guy dancing and jacking off in the bushes near a stoplight. Can't unsee that, unfortunately.

I dunno, Southpark did an episode featuring it a few years ago. It seems to be a "go to" for psychological breakdowns for a while now.

https://youtu.be/LKwW8PNZpOQ

[Erik]

Is public masturbation a growing trend? On Tuesday while driving home from work, I saw a homeless guy dancing and jacking off in the bushes near a stoplight. Can't unsee that, unfortunately.

Nope. It's just coming to your attention more. Talk to a librarian sometime. There's a reason I said the library must have been closed...

[awp_101]

Great, I have a flight tomorrow.

Is there a Managing Unknown Wangs course?
I wouldn’t call them unknown, just mostly forgotten.
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