So your significant other is armed...

[oss117]

This is something I've been wondering about, but haven't seen thoroughly addressed in any books or classes. Frequently one half of a couple will have a permit & CCW while their significant other chooses not to. Let's forego the idea that the non-CCW partner should just get firearms training and carry regularly for the time being. It's just not realistic for some people. What skills and knowledge should one have when out and about with an armed partner?

Areas of skills/knowledge that come to mind are:


Situational awareness (4 eyes better than 2)
Best way to help de-escalate a situation
What to do if their SO has to draw a weapon
First aid skills
How to talk to the police


I suspect there are some best practices in communication too: special code words, commands, etc.

Has anyone ever included a real unarmed SO in a FoF training? Or addressed it in their concealed carry class? Are there any articles or other materials addressing this?

-oss117

[AZgunguy]

My wife doesn't carry but she's been a cop's wife for 20 years. She keeps her eyes open, knows when to point things out to me, and knows when I start to do something, it's time for her to call 911. She's very good at describing the situation that is occurring and most importantly, telling them that her husband is an off duty police officer and describing what I look like and what I'm wearing to the police.

[Le Français]

I’d suggest having a conversation about how each person thinks he or she should respond to an active shooter situation, and figuring out whether or not both partners are on the same sheet of music. This could also change depending on the situation (church vs. mall, etc).

Working together could help a lot, but if decisions aren’t made until the moment, the lack of coordination could result in an even less effective response than one person could have offered alone.

Also, your username is hilarious.

[peterb]

That list looks like a good starting point.

We’ve talked about some scenarios. One thing we’ve agreed on is that if either of us uses the “command voice”, the other will try to comply first and ask questions later.

There are defensive classes for couples. Here’s the description of Tatiana Whitlocks’s “Couples Defensive Shooting”

This course has been developed to build essential teamwork and gun handling skills in the context of everyday environments and scenarios. Should the need ever arise and you must work together for survival the last thing you want to do is make a deadly situation worse! Be it for concealed carry or home defense, learn clear communication skills, fluid movement and critical safety protocol when working in close proximity to your teammate/partner/BFF/spouce. Come prepared to tune up your individual shooting technique while establishing functional strategies to survive as a team!

https://tatianawhitlock.com/event/couples-defensive-handgun/

[Yung]

John Murphy has a two-person tactics class, though I'd presume it's in limited availability unless he can find enough couples for it. Here's a link to a course description from last year.

https://www.fpftraining.com/fpf-calendar/concealed-carry-two-person-tactics

[SeriousStudent]

Rule one: Don't let your SO write checks you have to try and cash. See also Chris Rock's "How not to get your ass beat by the police."

Rule two: Plan this shit out in advance.

Rule three: Everybody knows how to use every piece of medical gear on each other.

Rule four: Both parties have the lawyer's phone number, and access to funds for the bail bonds folks.

Rule five: If they ignore/seriously disagree with the above, you need a new SO. Trust me on this.

[lwt16]

My wife doesn't carry but she's been a cop's wife for 20 years. She keeps her eyes open, knows when to point things out to me, and knows when I start to do something, it's time for her to call 911. She's very good at describing the situation that is occurring and most importantly, telling them that her husband is an off duty police officer and describing what I look like and what I'm wearing to the police.

Same here except it's 23 years. Mine is also a RN so she doesn't get rattled easily.

She's always done a wonderful job backing me up when off duty and something finds us. Hasn't happened a lot but it has happened.

[oss117]

Thank you for the replies. Looks like enough to get started!
-oss117

[NH Shooter]

No matter how many times I've told her I want to be seated at a restaurant booth with the wall/divider to my right, she always takes that seat (I carry IWB just behind my right hip).

[Cory]

My wife does not carry, and is unlikely to do so. She isn't antigun or anything like that, and is willing to fight but simply isn't comfortable personally handling firearms. That's a situation that could change in the future, but sometimes hubby can't be the teacher. I digress.

My wife is pretty good about keeping an eye for trouble. She has given me a heads up on things I didn't notice many times. In general she knows that total avoidance is our goal, and deterrence by in general being a "hard target" is good. She is amazing at positioning. When I feel like I want my strong hand free, I let her know and she changes sides (and hands. Yes. We're that couple even after 10 years together and 4 years married.) When I feel like I might want more concealment or a change of position somehow, she obliges. Often I don't need to say anything she just gets it. We've talked through several scenarios, and what would probably be our best choices in them. We haven't really spoken about aftermath of a shooting. On reflection that is a discussion we will have soon. In general, the fact she puts up with me and my notions on firearms and defense is plenty for me.

Also, she is in every way my better. I totally married up, and am thrilled that she is happy to settle with a bum like me.

-Cory

[John Murphy]

John Murphy has a two-person tactics class, though I'd presume it's in limited availability unless he can find enough couples for it. Here's a link to a course description from last year.

https://www.fpftraining.com/fpf-calendar/concealed-carry-two-person-tactics

And I would get glad to take it on the road to a range near you in 2021!

[Dov]

tagged for reference