The Decade is Ending

[Chance]

Anyone else finding themselves extra reflective heading into the New Year?

[JHC]

Anyone else finding themselves extra reflective heading into the New Year?

Hadn't occurred to before your thread. I guess no in that case. Weird cause I'm a frustrated philosopher and sentimental to boot.Then again, got a lot of irons in the fire.

[blues]

Anyone else finding themselves extra reflective heading into the New Year?

I don't think so. Any difference wouldn't be simply because the decade is ending but rather because of current events...political, personal or otherwise.

[Hambo]

Anyone else finding themselves extra reflective heading into the New Year?

Nope. Ever think about how stupid it is that we pay more attention to 5 and 0 anniversaries than other years? What's so special about ten years vs. eleven?

[Stephanie B]

I'm less thrilled that here it is, 2020. Where are the flying cars, the orbital hotels, the Lunar settlements? Where are the expeditions to Mars and the outer planets?

OK, so we got the Star Trek-like computer tablets and communicators. I can veg on my couch, read almost anything I desire, watch almost any movie ever made. I can videochat with a nephew-in-law in one of the Sandboxes, something I can set up with a verbal command to the tablet.

But it seems as though humanity, on the whole, is dropping IQ points.

[Chance]

It actually hadn't occurred to me that the decade was rolling over until I started seeing the "best of the decade" listicles. So I only got to thinking about it in the past few days.

A lot of very hard work resulted in positive things for me in the last ten years, so I'm hopeful the next ten years worth of hard work will produce similar results. Or it could all be down hill... I guess we'll see.


But it seems as though humanity, on the whole, is dropping IQ points.

I blame our hyper-connectivity; this has been the decade of social media. It was still mostly a novelty in 2010 - Twitter, Facebook, et cetera had only been around 5-6 years at that point, and you were mostly a nerd if you were on them then.

Unfortunately, there's forecast to be something like 75 billion devices on the Internet by 2025, and social media is only going to become more prominent, so we're pretty well screwed in that category.

[Casual Friday]

Anyone else finding themselves extra reflective heading into the New Year?

Kinda. I was born in 1980, and the other day I was thinking how the different decades have been. The 80's seem like mostly a blur except for Miami Vice, Ted Bundy, and the Green River Killer.

The 90's seemed to drag on forever yet were very enjoyable for me as a 10-19 year old.

My 20's were great. I bought a home in my early 20's, got married, and had my kids before turning 30.

2010-2019 was actually a terrible decade for me for a lot of reasons. Lost both parents, lost the job I would have had until retirement because of the economic collapse, etc. I also found my friend dead a couple months ago, something I haven't mentioned here until now and I'm still working through that.

2020-2029 will be interesting. I'll turn 40 next year, both my kids will have graduated high school and the thought of an empty nest already is a bit depressing. People always told us to cherish our kids younger years because it goes by so fast, and I now know what they mean. Yesterday they were babies.

[BN]

I haven't quite recovered from Y2K. :)

[Cory]

It'll probably hit me harder 2021 to be honest. In 2010 I went on deployment, which is significant. I got home in 2011. But i tend to think of time since getting home as being recent... it's really odd that it's knocking on 10 years ago. Got married, changed states, had a kid, changed states again, bought a house... I guess a lot has happened.

I'm 28, so it's one of my first decades. Still young but not really a kid anymore. So whatever. I don't know. I mostly try to build my long term stuff with small habits. That way it's mostly a day at a time.

-Cory

[Duelist]

Nah. Had my 25th wedding anniversary this year. Way more significant than the calendar rolling over two digits at once.

[Saur]

I'm less thrilled that here it is, 2020. Where are the flying cars, the orbital hotels, the Lunar settlements? Where are the expeditions to Mars and the outer planets?

OK, so we got the Star Trek-like computer tablets and communicators. I can veg on my couch, read almost anything I desire, watch almost any movie ever made. I can videochat with a nephew-in-law in one of the Sandboxes, something I can set up with a verbal command to the tablet.

But it seems as though humanity, on the whole, is dropping IQ points.

flynn effect says iq is on the rise

woodley effect shows general intelligence is on the decline :(

[Cookie Monster]

Isn't 2021 the end of the decade or I am wrong about that detail?

https://www.farmersalmanac.com/new-decade-2020-or-2021-100900

[Stephanie B]

Isn't 2021 the end of the decade or I am wrong about that detail?

https://www.farmersalmanac.com/new-decade-2020-or-2021-100900

I suppose, but nobody celebrated the new millennium on 1/1/2001

[Totem Polar]

Hadn't occurred to before your thread. I guess no in that case. Weird cause I'm a frustrated philosopher and sentimental to boot.Then again, got a lot of irons in the fire.

This.


I'm less thrilled that here it is, 2020. Where are the flying cars, the orbital hotels, the Lunar settlements?

We don’t have those things because the folks smart enough to produce them all realize that the flying cars would be driven by the same texters/stoners/uninsured idiots you see on your daily commutes; the orbital hotels would be staffed and maintained by the same people you see at the Holiday Inn; the lunar settlements would be planned, contracted, built, and managed by the same people building our planned communities now, out of Chinese building materials.

No, all is as it should be. We can have our ipads and instapots and Marvel Universe sequels with too much CGI. It’s all we can handle, and barely, at that.

[JohnO]

I haven't quite recovered from Y2K. :)

You prompted me to remember what is still under the kitchen sink.

46053

[Joe in PNG]

On a positive note, The Far Side is now officially online (https://www.thefarside.com/).

[OlongJohnson]

Everything is amazing and wonderful, and many of the basic hard goods on which life depends are almost impossible to acquire, in a level of quality as to be useable, at any price. And I'm not just talking about revolvers here.

I'll go shake my fist at a cloud now.

[Rex G]

Depending upon how one counts, I guess, but I thought the decade truly ends at the end of 2020, not the beginning. A baby is not one year old, until a year has been completed.

Well, anyway, I do not really think in terms of decades having a definitive start and end date, or of any specific ten-year period having any personal significance. I became a mostly-legal adult at 18, a fully-legal adult at 21, and then tended to think my life in terms of before or after significantly devastating local hurricanes. Alicia hit in 1983, when I was 22, just before I became a police officer. Ike hit in 2008, when I was 46, almost 47, after which nobody ever again guessed I was significantly younger than my actual age, or asked me “Where do you get all of your energy?” Harvey hit in 2017, when I was 55, almost 56, after which I no longer felt middle-aged, but truly old, with less energy than my father had in his seventies.

[MistWolf]

I suppose, but nobody celebrated the new millennium on 1/1/2001

I did.

[Darth_Uno]

I grew up in a strict fundie home. Not cult-level weird, just strict. I moved out in 2000, when I was 19. Despite being almost 20 years ago, it’s still a monumental event in my mind, and the divider between two eras of my life.

So a calendar date doesn’t make me pause for reflection. But pushing 40 does. Not that 40 is super special either, but it’s a good point to gauge where you were, are, and want to be.

[KellyinAvon]

I grew up in a strict fundie home. Not cult-level weird, just strict. I moved out in 2000, when I was 19. Despite being almost 20 years ago, it’s still a monumental event in my mind, and the divider between two eras of my life.

So a calendar date doesn’t make me pause for reflection. But pushing 40 does. Not that 40 is super special either, but it’s a good point to gauge where you were, are, and want to be.

40 is nothing, 50 SUCKS!

[Tensaw]

40 is nothing, 50 SUCKS!

In dealing with aches and pains and stuff not working the way it should - absolutely. In almost every other way, it is sorta cool. :D:cool:

[RevolverRob]

Five and ten year numbers are “more reflective” because we effectively count time in 10, 100, and 1000 year chunks. As a result we tend to milestone half-decade and decade marks. The only reason years 16, 18, and 21 are important in our society is due to driving, voting, and drinking laws. Otherwise think about the other “important” years - 25 - birthdays, anniversaries. etc., 40 is “middle age”, 65 is “retirement” age, etc.

[Stephanie B]

Getting to some things late in life, I guess. 2019 was the first year that I ever shot a competitive match outside of a club match. It was also the first year that I completely disassembled a S&W revolver.

[Stephanie B]

Five and ten year numbers are “more reflective” because we effectively count time in 10, 100, and 1000 year chunks. As a result we tend to milestone half-decade and decade marks. The only reason years 16, 18, and 21 are important in our society is due to driving, voting, and drinking laws. Otherwise think about the other “important” years - 25 - birthdays, anniversaries. etc., 40 is “middle age”, 65 is “retirement” age, etc.

I don't indulge in reflecting on my past. I believe that, unless one needs to make amends or repairs for the effects of one's actions and behaviors on other people, reflections are counterproductive. The past can't be changed. One can't go back and go to a different school or choose a different initial career or marry a different person the first time around (or not buy a Taurus).

That's different from learning lessons. One can learn that it's not smart to tell one's spouse that "no, it's your fat that makes you look fat" or that when one's boss asks "give me your honest opinion," he's not looking for "that's the stupidest idea you've ever come up with, Boss, and you've had some lulus" or that Serpas are really sucky or that there are really times when staying in port or on the ground would have been a good idea.

[Stephanie B]

40 is nothing, 50 SUCKS!

BWAHAHAAA! Oh, what you have to look forward to..... :rolleyes:

[Maple Syrup Actual]

I don't think it's a decade thing for me but I have had kind of a draining couple of years and it's definitely put me in a pensive frame of mind.

I mean I've had some really good things happen as well but it's just been a lot to manage and I felt just exhausted by the time this fall hit. I finished moving into my new place though and took most of November off. By that I mean I still worked full time but outside of my job I made a point of doing a lot of stuff like watching a whole hockey game, or reading a book, and not frantically trying to rebuild a deck before the rain hit or something. I just tried to spare myself a lot of frustrating or stressful experiences, and unwind my mind a little.

Interestingly after spending a month or so really trying to consciously relax, I found myself taking an interest in physical fitness again, which I just couldn't seem to push myself back to for the last couple of years, even though I knew it would have been helpful. I didn't have the mental energy to push myself to do more than I was doing and that was that.

But now I am back to lifting, and swimming at the local pool. I put a squat cage out in my garage and a few hundred pounds of plates and I'm getting back to somewhere near where I used to be, I guess. I'll probably take a year to get very much out of it but it's coming back.

One thing that's happened that I have really mixed feelings about is that I have cut way back on drinking. I know I'm supposed to think that's a good thing but I don't, really. I needed to shave my caloric and financial budgets down so that was a good choice but the less I drink, the more isolated and uncommunicative I tend to become. I just lose interest in pursuing social interaction and I'm much more hesitant to communicate with anyone at all. In fact this thread is a good example: half cut, I'd have already posted three times because fuck it, why not?

Instead I've typed out three posts over the last couple of days and deleted two and I'm posting this partly because I am trying to break that cycle of being sober, knowing there's no real point to saying anything, and consequently saying nothing.

In fact the version of myself I miss the most is the one where I'm pretty buzzed a lot of the time, playing in a rock band, not really giving a fuck how things turn out, and completely unaware of, or indifferent to, my finances or mortality. I think basically all of my regrets in life relate to not pushing that phase harder, for longer. Even though really I delayed responsibility for longer than practically anyone I know. Still, I would trade 90 years of actuarial approval for 50 years of Motorhead even though I'd only have ten more years to go right now. But I ended up taking on a bunch of responsibilities and now I have them and that's that. I still have a good life and all and objectively speaking I'm doing pretty well for myself but I have to say that I hate feeling normal and watching my ETFs increase in value is a very poor replacement for the exhilaration of a chaotic, uncontrolled life.

On the other hand I did just spend half a year living in a cabin on an island without electricity or running water just because I thought it would be fun so maybe I haven't drifted quite as far into regular living as I fear. Anyway, I better post this now before I just delete it all again.

[Robinson]

40 is nothing, 50 SUCKS!

Eh, 50 wasn't so bad from what I remember.

[Totem Polar]

In dealing with aches and pains and stuff not working the way it should - absolutely. In almost every other way, it is sorta cool. :D:cool:

I can dig it.

[Chance]

In fact the version of myself I miss the most is the one where I'm pretty buzzed a lot of the time, playing in a rock band, not really giving a fuck how things turn out, and completely unaware of, or indifferent to, my finances or mortality. I think basically all of my regrets in life relate to not pushing that phase harder, for longer. Even though really I delayed responsibility for longer than practically anyone I know.


A number of folks in the thread would be much better positioned to comment than I, but that sounds kind of like a midlife crisis.


On the other hand I did just spend half a year living in a cabin on an island without electricity or running water just because I thought it would be fun so maybe I haven't drifted quite as far into regular living as I fear.

This sounds like a very Canadian approach to a midlife crisis.

At any rate, I don't think your posts are for nothing. PF would be a different place without your particular blend of insight and articulation.

[RevolverRob]

One thing that's happened that I have really mixed feelings about is that I have cut way back on drinking. I know I'm supposed to think that's a good thing but I don't, really. I needed to shave my caloric and financial budgets down so that was a good choice but the less I drink, the more isolated and uncommunicative I tend to become. I just lose interest in pursuing social interaction and I'm much more hesitant to communicate with anyone at all. In fact this thread is a good example: half cut, I'd have already posted three times because fuck it, why not?

Instead I've typed out three posts over the last couple of days and deleted two and I'm posting this partly because I am trying to break that cycle of being sober, knowing there's no real point to saying anything, and consequently saying nothing.

In fact the version of myself I miss the most is the one where I'm pretty buzzed a lot of the time, playing in a rock band, not really giving a fuck how things turn out, and completely unaware of, or indifferent to, my finances or mortality. I think basically all of my regrets in life relate to not pushing that phase harder, for longer. Even though really I delayed responsibility for longer than practically anyone I know. Still, I would trade 90 years of actuarial approval for 50 years of Motorhead even though I'd only have ten more years to go right now. But I ended up taking on a bunch of responsibilities and now I have them and that's that. I still have a good life and all and objectively speaking I'm doing pretty well for myself but I have to say that I hate feeling normal and watching my ETFs increase in value is a very poor replacement for the exhilaration of a chaotic, uncontrolled life.

On the other hand I did just spend half a year living in a cabin on an island without electricity or running water just because I thought it would be fun so maybe I haven't drifted quite as far into regular living as I fear. Anyway, I better post this now before I just delete it all again.

So there are 3 things that stick out to me here -

1) Ideally alcohol isn't part of your identity. Rather it's an enhancer. If it's how you previously released your inhibitions, then that's something to think about, seriously. It sounds in the realm of alcohol dependency. I don't think you want to be dependent on anything or anyone. Afterall...you just spent 6-months living in a cabin on an island with no electricity and running water.

2) Forcing yourself to do the uncomfortable things is what my therapist calls "exposure therapy". It works, but it sucks. I do it, because I pay my therapist $185/hour to help me figure this shit out. If nothing else, forcing yourself to do something because of the inherent cost (either literal of mental) is important. Afterall, you don't like being a quiet, pensive, moody, fuck. So, lighten up Francis! :eek:

3) "Regular Living" only means something if you make it mean something. Dude, you are still making new stories to tell that are fun and interesting. Contrast this when most people get a fucking caramel soy milk latte on their way to work and their whole story in life is, the barista made the drink wrong. I know what the fuck I'm talking about on this one, since my barista made my caramel soy milk latte wrong this morning. :mad:

TBH, I understanding all of your points, but 3 is one I connect to personally. One of the things I've struggled with professionally, is that I came to do the things I do along a very different path from many of my "peers". As a result, I have a very different set of life experiences, perspectives, opinions, and insights. It is sufficiently distinct that it unnerves people when they talk to me. It is sufficiently distinct that my insights are whole levels above what many of my colleagues are capable of providing. It is sufficiently distinct that I do not actually have very many true peers. Furthermore, I don't really sugar coat anything for anyone in what I do. Sometimes I hurt feelings, not necessarily out of malice, but out of not being able to give a fuck about petty shit that people care about. I basically do what I want to do, how I think it best to do it, and unless someone comes along with a good alternative idea, I keep on keeping on.

It is when I lose sight of my personal distinction, my own personal history, that I become the most frustrated with my work and life in general. What I have to remember, when that happens, is that no amount of work or life or change, takes away the experiences that I use to define me. No matter my responsibilities, EFT growth, or office politics, none of that changes who I am or that I did and do it my way. That's something that it seems fewer and fewer people can say. Many are stuck working dead-end jobs, even if they have retirement funds and take vacations. People are "working for the weekend". They are doing jobs they hate to pay bills for shit they don't need or even want. We have whole companies dedicated to helping you get rid of the shit you bought and paid for that you didn't need or really want. We have more reality TV than we have reality. Kids are spoonfed medications and Cheetos and parents wonder why they won't leave the house when they are 18. Can you imagine? I love my parents, but when it was time to move out, I was fucking ready to go. Raring for adventure, a chance to do things my way. The number of my colleagues who are going through the motions on a daily basis, effectively viewing their lives as deterministic, is appalling. They are here to carry out this chemical interaction to fulfill someone's deliverables on a government grant. A grant that the researcher who got it didn't even really want, because it just meant more work that was tedious and a distraction from the work they wanted to do. Some (many) view the grants as strictly the vehicle for fame and personal prestige, they'll walk on the backs of dozens if not hundreds of people, because they are slaves for the approval. They need external validation and verification to know their lives have meaning.

Do you need those things? I have never gotten the impression you needed external validation. So what if you have growing EFTs and a mortgage? It means something to you, because you're not only working for those things, but you're working to accomplish more. I can see how moving from a chaotic inchoate existence to a more deliberate and planned one is a culture shock. But that doesn't make it lesser, merely different.

I think Sinatra got it right -


For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQzdAsjWGPg

[Totem Polar]

misanthropist: FWIW, I cut way back on the cocktail hours, too, because it was the easiest way to shave both calories and outgo. I’m definitely not as much fun these days, either. But it’s the right course of action for the times, if that makes sense.

RevolverRob: try oat milk, instead of soy, seriously. Both your taste buds and your gut will thank me later.
:)

[RevolverRob]

RevolverRob: try oat milk, instead of soy, seriously. Both your taste buds and your gut will thank me later.
:)

Oat, soy, and almond all suck, in my experience. Fortunately, I can still drink real milk on the new diet, just not a lot of it. I actually went with skim milk this morning and could definitely taste the difference between it and whole milk, plus the barista actually did make the drink wrong and used hazelnut instead of caramel. I don't mind, I like hazelnut, but I was expecting caramel and my tastebuds and brain were confused.

That's actually the first latte I've had since I started my new diet 15 days ago. I'm pretty much just coffee with ~1/2 ounce of half-and-half in it for the most part. The bitch has been following doctor's orders and increasing the amount of coffee I drink. Going from basically 12-ounce a day to 36 ounces a day is actually more difficult than it might seem. You can't just start chugging coffee one day. I'm currently up to about 20-ounces a day.

But I have to be careful, because I'm prone to bouts of insomnia. Monday was a perfect example, well I guess Sunday night. I drank 24 ounces of coffee on Sunday starting at 8 am, stopping prior to 3pm, I "went to bed" at my normal time of midnight. I was awake until 6-fucking-AM...

[Guerrero]

I suppose, but nobody celebrated the new millennium on 1/1/2001

I did, because I'm like that. The wife just rolled her eyes and sighed.

[NEPAKevin]

What's so special about ten years vs. eleven?

Some guys have to drop their pants to count to eleven?

[Chance]

I haven't quite recovered from Y2K. :)

Simpler times....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLyUpIqvlLA

[BN]

Simpler times....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLyUpIqvlLA

Huh. They didn't say anything about guns and ammo. ;)

[Maple Syrup Actual]

There's a lot to comment on but I will mostly restrain myself - and this is precisely the issue - not because I find socializing less comfortable while sober, but less appealing.

I appreciate, though, that there are people who get something out of my posts and that there is at least for some people the perception that I add something by posting. I can understand that - this is not intended to be a "poor me" post or anything - I just find that the less I drink, the more I start to talk, or write, and then rather than impulsively blurt something like I usually would, I hit the pause button.

And rationally I feel that there is usually a stronger argument for saying nothing than saying anything, so if I am being rational, I say nothing.



Finally I would say the only reason I would not describe my current mindset as "midlife crisis" is that I don't feel desperate about it...this is not what I think a crisis feels like. I feel fine, I just liked the irresponsible, intoxicated, impulsive version of myself better than who I became. But I'm not at a point in my life where I can really afford to be irresponsible, intoxicated, or impulsive and I don't really like it. Although I admit that I think the rewards will ultimately be worth it. I just feel deprived of a lot of my favourite things right now.

But in general, I assume these are the sensations that go with that term and I don't think my experience is anything unique. At most maybe I have a greater than average aversion to stability, or a greater love for wildness and disorder. But maybe not even that, I have no idea. Lots of people will riot when given the correct circumstances. At any rate it's not something I'm really struggling with exactly, it's just the reason I am currently feeling more introspective and withdrawn than usual.

[Jay Cunningham]

Anyone else finding themselves extra reflective heading into the New Year?

No, not at this time.

My only "regret" is not having more children at an earlier age.

But I thank God for my two daughters and my wife.

The past is the past.

I pray for an increase in Faith, Hope, and most especially Charity.

[Jay Cunningham]

Nah. Had my 25th wedding anniversary this year. Way more significant than the calendar rolling over two digits at once.

That's awesome.

[Jay Cunningham]

I grew up in a strict fundie home. Not cult-level weird, just strict. I moved out in 2000, when I was 19. Despite being almost 20 years ago, it’s still a monumental event in my mind, and the divider between two eras of my life.

You seem to imply that growing up in a fundie home was undesirable. Can you expound?

[Jim Watson]

Isn't 2021 the end of the decade or I am wrong about that detail?

https://www.farmersalmanac.com/new-decade-2020-or-2021-100900

Yes but people can't count.
H. Beam Piper started reckoning of the Atomic Age in 1945 AD. Year Zero. So the decades and centuries really did end in naughts.

[NH Shooter]

It's not the numbers on the calendar that blow me away - it's the relentless, unforgiving passage of time and the impact it has had on my existence.

As a species we fail miserably to live in the moment. We're always thinking about tomorrow, at the expense of appreciation for the now. We don't get to do "now" ever again.

A warm spring day long ago, sitting at a table at an outdoor café with the love of my life. What I wouldn't give to live that moment again.


https://i.ibb.co/LpPJnKT/Donna-1.jpg

[Darth_Uno]

You seem to imply that growing up in a fundie home was undesirable. Can you expound?

I had a bigger reply typed up, but I doubt you’d all find it terribly interesting.

There was (and is) just a lot of things I disagreed with. Mostly in regards to things we were either expected to do, or forbidden from doing. And I don’t mean actions or lifestyles that are in open defiance of Scripture, I never wanted that - the circles I grew up in just took it too far. I didn’t want to live the rock-n-roll lifestyle; I just wanted to listen to rock music.

So: when I moved out on my own, my choices would not have been acceptable. Despite being pretty mundane by “normal” standards. And I didn’t immediately sever all ties with a big F You, I just...walked away. Not from my faith, just from the circles I grew up with.

If you’re really interested, I’ll take the time to hammer out all the pros and cons from my perspective.

[NickA]

I didn’t want to live the rock-n-roll lifestyle; I just wanted to listen to rock music.

What a great way to put it. I grew up in a a small town and this really strikes a ... chord [emoji41]




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