Anyone become a dad later life?

[M2CattleCo]

I've recently found out that there's going to be another member of the family in about 8 months from now.

This one was unplanned. I have a 12 year old daughter, an almost 4 year old son.

I'm 39, wife is almost 35.

I didn't old until I found out about this. I'm excited but I'm honestly feeling a little awkward at the same time.

Just felt like I could throw it out here as I really haven't broken the news to anyone yet.

[Duke]

38 here

23yr old daughter
7 year old daughter
4 years old son
Newborn son.

So. Yea. Right there with you.

Whatever you do, never accept the dad bod.

[SoCalDep]

I’m 40... almost 41, wife is 38. We have 12yr and 7yr old sons and a 4yr old daughter. The younger two are adopted and we brought our daughter (safe surrender) home at day 2. So I suppose I’m not quite at the same time frame but fairly close. I have a partner who is early 40’s and they just had their (planned) youngest. Our neighbors had their kids both in early 40s.

Obviously it won’t be as easy as in your 20s, but I loved it. My wife and I did what we did with our oldest and took shifts. She went to bed early and I stayed up until about 3am. After the last feeding in that time frame I went to bed and the next my wife took. Of course we weren’t breast feeding so division of labor was easier.

We ultimately had 13 foster children, adoptiong two, so we got some experience. We had a premature baby from pretty much birth until 5 or 6 months who went back to relatives... we were ready to give up when a week later we got the call for who would be our daughter... so it was newborn for 5-6 months then a week later newborn to forever.

The phrase “I’m too old for this shit” was uttered frequently, but it was great.

You’ll do fine and congratulations!!!

[Cookie Monster]

43

Soon to be 4 year old twins who we named after trees.

Couldn’t of imagined doing it sooner, they are my motivation to eat clean and exercise. They’ll break me if I don’t keep my shit together. And I want them to grow up with exercise and physicality being a thing unlike my ice cream eating, TV binge of a childhood.

I’ll be working well past 60, but probably most will.

[RJ]

37 when my son was born.

All children are a blessing. Congratulations!

[JAD]

Both of us were 40 when the boy, now almost 9, was born.

Being an older parent seems relatively easy to me. It’s fun to hang out with the thirtysomethings who are some of his peers’ parents, and enjoy the experience delta. At the same time, there are a lot of them who are our age who are on kid six, eight, or ten, and it is humbling to be around someone that functional.

[newyork]

44

Wife is 36

Almost 4 year old daughter

9 month old daughter


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[5pins]

My son was born when I was 37 and daughter when I was 40. They are now 16 and 13. I never felt I was an older parent, seems to be more common these days.

[OMWAG]

My first was born when I was 32. The second at 38. The secondary blessing of the added 6=years was I made more money. Other than that age meany nothing of consequence.

[HeavyDuty]

Congrats! The late wife and I never had kids; I had a short remarriage since where I had a late teen stepdaughter, but that’s not the same as flesh and blood. At 56 I have no business fathering a child, and actually got snipped a few months ago to prevent it from happening since I keep getting involved with slightly younger but fertile women. My current relationship is hopefully my last, and I will end up with three stepsons (currently 14, 17 and 19.)

The challenges of being an older father would scare me, but from the longitivtiy / legacy standpoint - wanting to make sure I was around at least until they launch as adults and marry themselves.

[David S.]

39 when our (now 2 year old) twin girls were born.

[RoyGBiv]

We were 35 when our oldest was born. Our second was 3 years later.
I've always thought that the timing was perfect.

Do watch out for the Dad Bod... :rolleyes:

Congratulations!

[Gun Mutt]

On our next birthdays, I'll be 51, my wife will be 35 and our son will be 3...only thing that worries me is making sure I live to at least 80 so that he's out of his 20's when I go. And I say avoid dad bod whether you've progeny or not!

[gtae07]

We were 32/33 when we took our newborn son home (adoption). Baby plus wife's medical issues led to dad bod quickly. Finally fixed that and now I'm in the best shape of my life.

Honestly I don't know if we would have been really ready for a kid before that age.

[M2CattleCo]

Wow, seems like late 30s is more common than I thought.

I quit the gym this year due to work but I pay attention to what I eat to fend off the dad bod and I ride bikes with my other kids. I may hit some weights this winter again.

Thanks everyone for responding!

[Lex Luthier]

I do not, but have a brother in law who started his second family in his late 50s. He's 73 with a 50 year old wife, and a 16 & 14 year old daughter. They are both former academics, and he runs a medical IT & programming section at an Anchorage hospital.
I don't know how he does it, but he's a quietly remarkable man. And yeah, no dad bod yet, either. His cruise speed on a road bicycle is consistently faster than mine.

[NickA]

Congrats!
35 when my now 12 year old daughter was born, wife is a year younger. We delayed a few years because I was skittish about kids, and fertility issues cost us a few more. No real regrets, younger me would have been a shit father, and as others have said it's good motivation to stay in shape. I want to be around and in good enough health to maybe enjoy some grandkids one day.

For some contrast, my BIL is a few years older than me (49 I think} and has 7 kids. 32 and 28 year old daughters from his first marriage, 19, 14, 11 and twin 5 year old boys with his current wife. It's a circus but they're all good kids.

And my daughter's BFFs mom is about 28 or 29. So she's 17 years older than her kid, and we're about 17 years older than her. It's weird to be around them and think that I could have a fully grown child at my age, much less be a grandfather already [emoji41]

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[Grey]

Congratulations! Much wisdom here.

Edit: figured I would have been too young to post but figured wrong. 34 when my first showed up, wasnt ready for kids but then couldnt come soon enough after I made the switch in my head.

Totally let the dad bod take over. Lot of stuff going on right now but really its just excuses, and choosing to do something else I would rather do with my time, working on getting the gumption to start back up. Duke is an inspiration.

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[Duke]

Wow, seems like late 30s is more common than I thought.

I quit the gym this year due to work but I pay attention to what I eat to fend off the dad bod and I ride bikes with my other kids. I may hit some weights this winter again.

Thanks everyone for responding!

Forgive the initial rudeness that the following will indicated. I promise I mean well - especially as a dude who was 60lbs overweight at one point


But. Unless you’re working 120 hours a week or your job is an mma fighter/fire trench digger or some other total body inclusive labor then “quitting the gym because work” is just an excuse - and poor one at that.

Again. I don’t at all mean to seem as rude as I seem.

You don’t have to join a commercial gym - in fact that’s mostly a step backwards for a lot of folk.

Pull up bar (tree, gate, door frame) sprints, burpees. Free And effective in little time.

If we can’t save ourselves we can’t save anyone. Not eating trash is a good addition - but it won’t make you stronger.

Fitness is just you against you. So don’t go backward


All respect - these are things I tell myself daily

[trailrunner]

I was 26 and 28 when my girls were born. My wife was a year older. By contemporary standards, we were young parents. The other parents we knew were usually 5-10 years older than us. There were also a couple of dads on their second marriage: they might be in the early 50s, but their second wife was a 20 something and closer to our age.

The advantages to having kids young is the energy you have. When I was in my 30s and 40s, I never stopped moving. Kid and family activities occupied most of my time. There were times when I was worn out and dreaded having to go to yet another swim meet on a hot July weeknight evening, knowing that I had to get up and go to work the next day, but I also knew to enjoy those days as much as possible. Whatever free time I had was spent fixing something around the house. I was also doing a lot of triathlons and ultra running, and would squeeze in training whenever I could, and did some crazy workouts just to fit them in. When I look back at those days, I can't imagine how I pulled it all off. I *never* had problems falling asleep.

The disadvantages were that I had no idea what I was doing as a parent. I was still in grad school when my older daughter was born and didn't have much life experience, and I was still working on my maturity. Fortunately, I was smart enough to do what my wife told me to do. The other disadvantage was that we didn't have a lot of money. Some times there was more month left at the end of the money. We lived frugally, but really, my kids didn't want for anything.

But being a parent when you're young or when you're old, the most important thing I learned from my wife was: "don't worry: this will all work out in the end."

[willie]

The op has been blessed. It's that simple. I love babies and wish I had a couple. If there are dogs in the house, they need to be told daily that a new pup is on the way. By training I'm a zoologist. Despite that, I'm convinced the dogs will understand.

[TiroFijo]

I married at 40, wife was 31.
We had twins 19 months later (15 years ago), and another boy four years later (11 years now).
VERY happy

[J0hnny]

Appreciate the wisdom here. First daughter at 39, second at 42. My wife is almost ten years younger than me and I think about them everyday and how I need to be around for a good while. Sometimes I wonder what if we had started earlier. But I wouldn't trade this for anything. Eat clean and on workdays I'm at the gym at 4am so I can be with them when I'm home. Actually headed to the gym now with a P2Ksk in a JMCK 2.5. The only exercise I really need to watch myself is doing pull ups so that my shirt doesn't ride up too high...

[modrecoil]

First time dad at 48 (wife is 41) of an adorable special needs princess. We're very tired.

[jc000]

35 and 38 for my last two (8 and 12 now). I had my first in my early 20s which was WAY easier than 30s / 40s IMO. Exhausted all the time, lol. Still loving it of course, watching your kids grow and excel (especially at things you love too) is amazing.

Being a granddaddy in your 40s seems pretty cool so far!

[theJanitor]

I had my son when I was 39. He’s six and just started 1st grade this week. Before he started school, I was worried that I’d be the “grandpa” amongst the other dads. I’m not nearly the oldest, I just look like it

[BillSWPA]

My daughter was born when I was 36, and my son when I was 39. Most challenging and rewarding thing I have done.



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[Suvorov]

Had my first at 39. Second at 42. Echo most of what others have said. About the only thing that really bothers me is the fact that due to my graying hair I sometimes get asked if I’m a grandpa.
On the plus side they keep me young and give me more of an imperative to stay healthy as long as I can.

[Kyle Reese]

Became a father at 37. Four years later, it's been the most rewarding experience of my life. You'll be just fine.

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[the Schwartz]

Just when I thought I was an anomaly...

Married for the first time at 39, had my son at 43 and my little girl followed at 45.

They keep me young because they keep me moving.

What were those lyrics in that Tom Petty song, "Last Dance With Mary Jane"?

"You never slow down, you never grow old."

What I find really funny is that I am simultaneously their dad and just old enough to be their grandfather.

[JTQ]

I got married at 34, first kid at 36, second at 38. My wife is four years younger. My daughters are now 25 and 23.

It worked out pretty well for us. My wife was a school teacher and quit to stay home with the girls. I retired from the USAF in 2003 and we swapped roles with her going back to work and me staying home with the kids. I coached them in soccer, eventually running the league, volunteered with the band parents (band room clean up, cooking burgers and fries at the football games), worked backstage at show choir for 10 years, and drove them to high school and home every day (lots of good father/daughter talks during those drives). The girls graduated from college Magna Cum Laude and Summa Cum Laude, and neither they or I have any college debt. They are both lovely young women and I'm very proud of them.

[the Schwartz]

I married at 40, wife was 31.
We had twins 19 months later (15 years ago), and another boy four years later (11 years now).
VERY happy


Amazing how similar the timing in our respective situations.

[Old Man Winter]

I'm 46 with my first on the way. T-minus 7 days!

[gtae07]

About the only thing that really bothers me is the fact that due to my graying hair I sometimes get asked if I’m a grandpa.

Multiple people have thought I was my wife's dad. She's six months older than me. I think it's the receding hairline.

Regarding dad fitness, sometimes a gym or solo workout isn't the best answer for you. The best thing for me was finding a group of guys to work out with early mornings. The workouts are different every time, it's free, and it's fun--unlike the monotony of gym training etc. I still run and hit the gym for cardio and weights but those supplement the other workouts.

Fitbit and the gym helped me lose the weight initially, F3 (https://f3nation.com/) (the workout group) is making me stronger and keeping the weight off. It's sort of a blend of crossfit and bootcamp workouts interspersed with running, at least as we do it here.

[Jim Watson]

Friends have sons 14 years apart, now 18 and 4. They are doing fine.

[the Schwartz]

I'm 46 with my first on the way. T-minus 7 days!

Congrats on the pending arrival! You have me beat for having the 1st one by three whole years! :cool:

[1911Nut]

Gifted with a daughter when I was 23 and a son when I was 25. Then had twin stepdaughters come into my life when I was 49. Now it's almost 23 years later, those twins are grown women, and I look back on raising them with 100% fond memories.

[andre3k]

I had my two kids at 35 and 36. They kick my ass on the daily. Most of my friends have kids in HS or going into college and I'm envious of the whole empty nest thing, They want to hang out now and I'm still changing diapers. As much as I enjoy children, I'm glad that I'm snipped now.

[mtnbkr]

I wouldn't say we had kids late in life compared to some in this thread, but we had Thing 1 when I was 30 and Thing 2 when I was 35. That was late to me because my parents were in their very early 20s when I was born (oops!). My dad was 40 when I was going off to college. I'm 46 now, so had I started when they did, my kid(s) would be out of college and in the workforce by now.

If I could do it again, I think I'd have kids even earlier (didn't get married till my late 20s). If I started sooner, and had a bigger house and more money, I'd have more kids too. I enjoy being a parent and don't regret a bit of it.

Chris

[MEH]

41yo when my youngest was born. She's going off to college today. Enjoy the ride, they keep you young!

[psalms144.1]

I was 25 when my eldest was born, and 37 (three weeks before my 38th) when our youngest (boy-girl twins) were born. For me, the biggest issue is financial, I have mandatory retirement the year the twins are freshmen in college - not a great solution.

Physically, I haven't found any issues, though I thought it might have been a problem.

My friend's wife is talking about adopting - he's 50, she's in her mid-40s. That might be a BIT too long in the tooth for my tastes, but the right family can make it all work.

Have fun and enjoy the ride!

[Grey]

I wouldn't say we had kids late in life compared to some in this thread, but we had Thing 1 when I was 30 and Thing 2 when I was 35. That was late to me because my parents were in their very early 20s when I was born (oops!). My dad was 40 when I was going off to college. I'm 46 now, so had I started when they did, my kid(s) would be out of college and in the workforce by now.

If I could do it again, I think I'd have kids even earlier (didn't get married till my late 20s). If I started sooner, and had a bigger house and more money, I'd have more kids too. I enjoy being a parent and don't regret a bit of it.

ChrisLiving in NoVA I feel your financial pain. If I lived somehwere cheaper with my income I would have more. Kids are awesome.

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[RevolverRob]

First, congrats!

My father was 40 when I was born. And compared to the dad's of other kids my age, I think I got the better end of the deal. My dad was more mature, confident, and established as a professional and comfortable with himself. He has said many times that the two best things to happen to him, meeting and marrying my mother and having me. From the perspective of seeing some of my friends and colleagues have kids before turning 30 vs. those who waited until their mid-to-late 30s, the difference is night and day how they handle the stress and the types of parents they are. Almost all of them are better as older adults.

Physically, my dad had no trouble keeping up with me as a kid and it's only now that I'm in my 30s and he's in his 70s, with bone cancer, that he struggles. I wish he had been younger, but only from the perspective of having him around longer these days, not because he was limited as a person.

[jetfire]

Man, this thread is timely. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one starting late. I’m 37 and my first is on the way, my *mumblecoughmumble43cough* year old wife is 8 months pregnant at the moment.

[RevolverRob]

Man, this thread is timely. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one starting late. I’m 37 and my first is on the way, my *mumblecoughmumble43cough* year old wife is 8 months pregnant at the moment.

Do they not give the "talk" to dudes in the Air Force?

Dude...you know how baby Berettas are made...this isn't hard for you. :eek:

Congrats to all the soon-to-be fathers, your dicks work!

[jetfire]

Do they not give the "talk" to dudes in the Air Force?

Dude...you know how baby Berettas are made...this isn't hard for you. :eek:

Congrats to all the soon-to-be fathers, your dicks work!

Lol, this one was planned. We both wanted kids and realized that our ages we needed to uh...get after it as soon as possible. The timing sucks a little because I’m going to miss the birth but that’s part of the bargain when I signed on the line.

[breakingtime91]

Most of the parents of the kids I teach (9 year olds) are in their late 30s and forties. They are more often surprised (I'm 28) that I have two kids, one of them in preschool.

[LJP]

I’m 43 with a 3 y/o son and a 2 y/o daughter... so yeah. There are good points and bad points. I think I have a lot more perspective now, but I wish I had the energy that I did 20 years ago.

My father was 39 when I was born, so I’m sort of walking in his footsteps. I just hope I live longer than he did. That, if anything, is my biggest regret. I wish he could have met his grandchildren and I wish my kids could have known him.

[JKPirate08]

47 years old wife is 30. I have a daughter that’s 24, and another that will be 4 in a couple months. Never thought about more kids before I married a much younger woman

[the Schwartz]

47 years old wife is 30. I have a daughter that’s 24, and another that will be 4 in a couple months. Never thought about more kids before I married a much younger woman

That's quite a spread, JK. Heck, that is probably a topic (large spans of our kids' ages) worthy of a thread of its own.

Like you, I married (at 39) much younger than myself (she was 15 years my junior) but I never thought of kids until 3 years post-retirement when she brought the idea up. Got a wonderful son and daughter out of the whole thing. Chasing after them, playing with them and enjoying my time with them, helping them with their studies and just plain old having fun keeps me young and helps me stay in good physical shape. Had my son and daughter at 43 and 45 respectively, best thing that I ever did. Enjoy the time that you have with that little one; these are precious times.

[Arbninftry]

We were both 41 when my Freedom Fighter was born. 4 years ago and now I feel it after chasing him around the yard.