Duces Tecum
08-01-2019, 10:54 AM
Ok, so this traveling salesman heard that down the road a piece and left at the Copenhagen sign there was a farmer with a three-legged pig. He found the farmer in the barnyard and after the initial courtesies about the weather, asked the obvious: how did your pig come to have three legs?
“Well,” the farmer said, “one night we had a short in the electricity and the whole first floor was engulfed in flames. That pig found his way through the fire and smoke and struggled upstairs to wake us all up. Then we followed the pig down the stairs to safety”.
“And that was how the pig lost his leg?” the salesman asked.
“Nope. Nope, another time there was a terrible freeze one winter. Lasted several days. We were stuck in town. Couldn’t get the truck started. But that pig got to the water trough and kept breaking the ice off the top so the animals could drink.” Didn’t lose a critter, that whole freeze.”
“And that was how the pig lost his leg?”
“No, not then,” said the farmer. “That spring there was a terrible flood. The winter snows melted and there was one rainstorm after another. The farms on both sides of me were washed away. Still can’t grow anything, neither of ‘em. Topsoil all gone. But that pig used his snout to root a drainage ditch between here and the lake. The flood hit that ditch and flowed directly to the lake. Saved the farm.”
“And that was when the pig lost his leg?”
“Nope”.
“So how did the pig lose his leg?”
“Son, a pig that good, you just don’t eat all at once.”
“Well,” the farmer said, “one night we had a short in the electricity and the whole first floor was engulfed in flames. That pig found his way through the fire and smoke and struggled upstairs to wake us all up. Then we followed the pig down the stairs to safety”.
“And that was how the pig lost his leg?” the salesman asked.
“Nope. Nope, another time there was a terrible freeze one winter. Lasted several days. We were stuck in town. Couldn’t get the truck started. But that pig got to the water trough and kept breaking the ice off the top so the animals could drink.” Didn’t lose a critter, that whole freeze.”
“And that was how the pig lost his leg?”
“No, not then,” said the farmer. “That spring there was a terrible flood. The winter snows melted and there was one rainstorm after another. The farms on both sides of me were washed away. Still can’t grow anything, neither of ‘em. Topsoil all gone. But that pig used his snout to root a drainage ditch between here and the lake. The flood hit that ditch and flowed directly to the lake. Saved the farm.”
“And that was when the pig lost his leg?”
“Nope”.
“So how did the pig lose his leg?”
“Son, a pig that good, you just don’t eat all at once.”