I'm not a good person, most of the time.

[breakingtime91]

I thought this could be a fun thought exercise. A lot of us have gotten to know each other over the years whether its through posts, texts, phone calls, or in person. I will be the first to say I have loved every person I have met through the forum, which is unqiue. But I am not a good person.

So I'll start it out:

1) I am not always the best partner to my wife and often point out where she is failing instead of helping her succeed.

2) I judge other men harshly. Why the fuck didn't you fight in a war also?

3) I really do not like people who don't take responsibility for their actions and will vocally announce it even if were not on that social level.


Share how you are not as good of a person as you can be. I am looking at this from a christian point of view but look at it any way you like and lets have fun with it.

[Baldanders]

Not touching this one outside of RR or CC.

[Stephanie B]

Air out my self-perceived faults on a publicly searchable (and Google spider-indexed) forum?

I may be dumb, sometimes, but I’m nowhere near that dumb.

[Sigfan26]

Ummmmm.... No


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[Cookie Monster]

I am a fan of breakingtime, I’ll roll.

1) I get fired up/passionate/angry more than I need to or should about little things, folks who do sloppy work, folks who don’t take care of there people, etc. This allows/makes me do high quality work but bogs me done and puts more West and tear then needed.

2) I have low self esteem, I can’t push past being in 4th grade and getting picked last for kickball. No matter all the killer shit I’ve done and succeeded at, that is my default.

3) I need to get into, have the discipline for a daily habit of exercise, I make excuses and cut myself slack where I shouldn’t.

Thanks for the thought experiment.

[HCM]

Air out my self-perceived faults on a publicly searchable (and Google spider-indexed) forum?

I may be dumb, sometimes, but I’m nowhere near that dumb.

Agree 100%.

Every thread needs a meme so...

39352

[Jay Cunningham]

39355

[That Guy]

Share how you are not as good of a person as you can be.

This forum has finite storage space. I wouldn't want to waste all of it, especially just to talk about me, me, me... :p

[breakingtime91]

lol, some people are just up tight

[Yung]

The greatest enemy I could face every day is the malevolence and resentment in my own heart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cct98wRv3SY
https://www.reddit.com/r/JordanPeterson/comments/7vbr3e/meek_shall_inherit_the_earth_translation/

[Baldanders]

I am a fan of breakingtime, I’ll roll.


2) I have low self esteem, I can’t push past being in 4th grade and getting picked last for kickball. No matter all the killer shit I’ve done and succeeded at, that is my default.



I was the kid picked last in gym class (after the girls) through high school. I got evaluated for neurological impairment by a special needs teacher in second grade because I was so uncoordinated.

A few years back, on a "employee fun day" in a previous career, the bosses took a group of us to play laser tag.

My team had a four digit score. The other team had a three digit total.

I had a four digit personal total. No one else got past the low threes. I had scored the majority of points earned in the game, all players included.

It was like being a pit bull on meth in a cage full of sedated bunnies. Utter domination was confusing to me at first, but I got used to it.

It's amazing how one day can turn old trauma into a joke.

[Shoresy]

lol, some people are just up tight

Social media being what is is these days.... yes, I am.

[Cypher]

People get mad when I say this but human beings are evil. It's our nature. Adolph Hitler lives inside all of us it just takes the right circumstances to bring it out.

[TheNewbie]

I am a fan of breakingtime, I’ll roll.

1) I get fired up/passionate/angry more than I need to or should about little things, folks who do sloppy work, folks who don’t take care of there people, etc. This allows/makes me do high quality work but bogs me done and puts more West and tear then needed.

2) I have low self esteem, I can’t push past being in 4th grade and getting picked last for kickball. No matter all the killer shit I’ve done and succeeded at, that is my default.

3) I need to get into, have the discipline for a daily habit of exercise, I make excuses and cut myself slack where I shouldn’t.

Thanks for the thought experiment.


Getting picked last through school is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

[Stephanie B]

People get mad when I say this but human beings are evil. It's our nature. Adolph Hitler lives inside all of us it just takes the right circumstances to bring it out.
I disagree. While we all have the capacity to do evil and we all have our inner monster (https://thelawdogfiles.blogspot.com/2012/12/well-thats-just-splendiferous.html), we all have the ability to not do evil and do good in the world.

What matters is whether we exercise our free will to control those aspects of our personalities.

[oakdalecurtis]

Here's another POV. When I was 18, (52 years ago), I sank on a pleasure boat in the Pacific ocean during a huge storm. Me and my two sailing mates were washed up on a small piece of rock and rescued by the Coast Guard the next day, severely hypothermic and barely alive. I knew then that there was a purpose for my life, and now 5 grandkids later, I think I know what it was. I learned from this experience not to sweat the small stuff. I cut people slack as I would hope that they would cut me some slack when I did/do stupid things. When the kids were growing up and someone would cut us off in traffic, I would say outloud "maybe that person just found out that their parent had a heart attack and is on the way to the hospital". We knew otherwise in our hearts, but it allowed us to give that person some slack, just in case I was right. That person, could be me, or you someday. When people are having a bad day they act out sometimes. Instead of reacting negatively, which is normal, ask them what's really wrong. You might be stunned at the answer sometimes. We are all human and make mistakes, and our instincts tell us to cover or hide them. That's normal. If you have never made a mistake, then call them out on it, and make them feel worse. Understanding will get someone a lot farther than judgement, but that's just me.......

[BehindBlueI's]

People get mad when I say this but human beings are evil. It's our nature.

I think you've confused 'evil' with 'selfish'.

[TheNewbie]

People are not basically good, we have to learn how to be good. People are not basically bad, but it's much easier to do great evil than good.

[Darth_Uno]

I think you've confused 'evil' with 'selfish'.

Agreed.

Part of that is our monkey brain, hard-wired to look at everything as us vs them. When there's enough food to go around, go do your thing. When there's not, my tribe is better than your tribe. And a tribal mindset works very well - we'll hunt and gather no problem, but I'm not doing it for you degenerate monkeys, I'm doing it for my group of morally upright monkeys and our manifest destiny.

In our society it's not so much about sharing food because we've got plenty of it, but we'll contribute money (which is our time, indirectly) to causes we believe in, and wish the opposite cause would just go away. And if the people who espouse the opposite cause would...not die, but just kinda go away forever, maybe that wouldn't be so bad. If I had God powers for one day, I certainly wouldn't kill every group I disagree with, but maybe I'd consider making a section of Antarctica habitable and putting 'em all there. But plot twist: if someone else had that power, they might put me there for my views on guns, Trump and traditional values. Now they'd be evil, but I'm just trying to make the world a better place. Right?

Second of all, and if you think this is all hokey nonsense that's fine, but from a Biblical standpoint (OP said "Christian standpoint" first) we are all sinners by nature. That doesn't mean we will always take the most evil option every single time if given the opportunity. It just means we're corrupted.

[Arbninftry]

I am a social worker now post military life- I am not a good person when:

I expect capable people to be truthful about trying to find a job because I will deny their food stamps

I expect able bodied adults to work and not make up some bullshit I excuse like (these are real now)
I have PPSTDs and i can’t be in public
I have Diarrhea (actual dr note stating it)
I am to pretty I have never had to work (as the smile of meth mouth takes over) 30 going on 60
My wife made me quit because our food stamps closed when I got that job


Yes I am sorry Denied
I am a bad person

BTW- some do need it but they are few and far between

[Cypher]

I think you've confused 'evil' with 'selfish'.

No. I meant evil and I'm not confused about my choice of that word in the slightest.

I am sorry, human beings are evil. There is nothing that you will ever say that will ever convince me otherwise

[Cypher]

I disagree. While we all have the capacity to do evil and we all have our inner monster (https://thelawdogfiles.blogspot.com/2012/12/well-thats-just-splendiferous.html), we all have the ability to not do evil and do good in the world.

What matters is whether we exercise our free will to control those aspects of our personalities.

I wasn't soliciting opinions.

[willie]

When I did security at a retirement center, a drunk resident ran over my foot with his motorized wheel chair. He did it on purpose and talked ugly to me. After he passed out, I let the air out of his tires.

[Trukinjp13]

Interesting how some of you comment how this is public and you do not want to respond. But have had no problem with viscous slandering of others. Maybe if you have nothing to contribute just stay out.

1. I am in a marriage where I am the sole working person. Has been that way for far too long now. Which has made me selfish when I can indulge from extra money.

2. I close myself off from most people. I am a loyal and dependable friend to those close. But I keep one hell of a force field up to others and new people.

3. I have developed a serious taste of disgust and hate from all the political bullshit.

4. I really dislike people who say I am wrong for treating my dogs like my kids. Y’all can fuck off



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[Shoresy]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnuGC3reAkc

[Stephanie B]

I wasn't soliciting opinions.
New to the Internet, are ye, Pilgrim?

[Cypher]

New to the Internet, are ye, Pilgrim?

No. But I knew my statement was going to start an argument because no one really wants to agree with it because no one really wants to acknowledge that they, specifically them are evil.

[Sigfan26]

Interesting how some of you comment how this is public and you do not want to respond. But have had no problem with viscous slandering of others.


Please, name names


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[willie]

I think I'll go read last week's paper.

[Sigfan26]

No. But I knew my statement was going to start an argument because no one really wants to agree with it because no one really wants to acknowledge that they, specifically them are evil.

I’m generally a good person...


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[Trukinjp13]

Please, name names


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Why? I’m not turning this into a shit show. If it does not pertain to you, why does it matter. If it does you should know on your own. We talk about a lot of things on here. Political, family, friends, policing, military. The majority of content is directly aimed at training to take a life. Seems odd that people are worried about saying what may make you a bad person. I don’t think the intent is to admit you are a murderer or rapist.

The OP is a very good dude, so I was willing to participate.


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[Malamute]

Related to nobody here, but sparked by the vid of Malcolm, I knew a guy that would say "I think I have a good heart".

After I became aware, but before it was generally known he was a liar, thief, had felony fraud charges, and felony embezzlement charges on his wife, when hed say that Id think "you mean as an organ donor?"

[willie]

Sometimes I have fallen short, but I have tried to do the right thing. When perplexed, I ask myself what would my parents do? They always set good examples. If I were evil, then I would end my life. I have never understood why child molesters who destroy children don't commit suicide.

[45dotACP]

From a Christian perspective, I was raised with a very strong emphasis on humility, so I could probably write paragraphs on the faults that I perceive in myself.

At the end of the day, perhaps the greatest fault I've noticed in myself (and maybe others) is that I fail to develop my own strengths because I don't acknowledge them.

So I've resolved only be humble and self deprecating for a short while before I go back to being a pretentious asshole.

Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back sure, but also don't always be your worst critic. The feedback of others may be more valuable than your own internal dialogue.

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[BehindBlueI's]

No. But I knew my statement was going to start an argument because no one really wants to agree with it because no one really wants to acknowledge that they, specifically them are evil.

Or, you know, because you're wrong. Fields from sociobiology to behavioral economics deal with the benefits of the selfish nature of man (and animal societies, as wells) tempered with the social expectations of altruism (which, in the end also benefit the individual member of society, thus are analogous to delayed gratification of selfishness). If I'm a wolf by myself, I can kill small game and keep it all. IF I'm part of a pack I can participate in killing much larger animals and more frequently, so while I have to share I get more food in total. That, in a very simplified version, is society. My goal is still selfish, to get as much food as I can, but now I must temper my selfishness with cooperation. Society wouldn't function, would never have existed, if humanity was evil. From wolf society to capitalism, selfishness (or the less judgmental self-interest), is a requirement for the success of the system.

So, no, it's not because of some reluctance to look inside myself and admit "the dark truth". It's because the notion is contraindicated by even casual scrutiny of day to day life, let alone serious study of why we are how we are.

[Cypher]

Or, you know, because you're wrong. Fields from sociobiology to behavioral economics deal with the benefits of the selfish nature of man (and animal societies, as wells) tempered with the social expectations of altruism (which, in the end also benefit the individual member of society, thus are analogous to delayed gratification of selfishness). If I'm a wolf by myself, I can kill small game and keep it all. IF I'm part of a pack I can participate in killing much larger animals and more frequently, so while I have to share I get more food in total. That, in a very simplified version, is society. My goal is still selfish, to get as much food as I can, but now I must temper my selfishness with cooperation. Society wouldn't function, would never have existed, if humanity was evil. From wolf society to capitalism, selfishness (or the less judgmental self-interest), is a requirement for the success of the system.

So, no, it's not because of some reluctance to look inside myself and admit "the dark truth". It's because the notion is contraindicated by even casual scrutiny of day to day life, let alone serious study of why we are how we are.

I'm not wrong, human beings are evil

[BehindBlueI's]

Sometimes I have fallen short, but I have tried to do the right thing. When perplexed, I ask myself what would my parents do? They always set good examples. If I were evil, then I would end my life. I have never understood why child molesters who destroy children don't commit suicide.

Because they generally don't see what they are doing as wrong, but as a victim of societal norms. My personal opinion is true child molesters ("true"in order to differentiate between someone abusing an infant vs the 19 year old/16 year old relationships) are simply wired wrong. Someone who steals finds a way to justify it but has conflict to a greater or lesser degree because they know it's wrong. Child molesters don't seem to have that conflict. Recidivism studies support that, in that molesters offend again at very high rates, but with the same crime. Robbers are also re-arrested for battery, for drug offenses, etc. Child molesters are seldom re-arrested for anything other than child molesting. Even among sex offenders, their same offense recidivism is high.

So, while certainly not an expert on the topic and "wired wrong" is far from a scientific explanation, that's my take based on observation and the criminology literature I've read on the topic.

[BehindBlueI's]

I'm not wrong, human beings are evil

Simply proclaiming it repeatedly isn't a compelling argument for your position.

[Hambo]

I'm not wrong, human beings are evil

Yes, you are wrong. Humans have capacity for good and evil, the ability to know the difference, and the ability to choose which they will do.

[RevolverRob]

I’m not a good person, I’m awesome.

BBI got it right w/respect the inherent selfish nature of animals. Humans are animals. We may have self-cognition and we may form complex social groups - only one of those is a unique trait BTW - but we are inherently driven by the inexorable realities of being living organisms. We need to survive being eaten, we need to eat, we need to procreate, we need to die.

I am increasingly convinced that one of the biggest problems we face as “humans” is that there is a decreasing pressure on our survival instincts. We live in worlds of plenty and do not struggle regularly to survive. Fewer and fewer of us go hungry at all, anymore. Shit I have enough calories in protein bars in my bag right now a Neanderthal would kill me to eat them.

We’re fucking caged monkeys at the zoo. We no longer struggle to survive - so we are bored - we fight each other because it’s fun. We screw with our environment because it’s the only thing to do. We struggle to find meaning, because we don’t struggle to live.

If you think you’re a bad person - take a couple of weeks off and go do some back country subsistence camping/hiking. Sleep on the ground, take very little, make lots with almost nothing. Go hungry because you failed to catch a fish for dinner. Get reset and then come back. You’ll have a vastly different perspective.

[Cypher]

Yes, you are wrong. Humans have capacity for good and evil, the ability to know the difference, and the ability to choose which they will do.

I'm going to say the same thing to you that I'm going to say the Blues we can hold differing points of view on this and we're probably going to and that's okay no hard feelings

[Cypher]

Simply proclaiming it repeatedly isn't a compelling argument for your position.

I think we're going to hold differing points of view on this.

[BehindBlueI's]

We struggle to find meaning, because we don’t struggle to live.


This is more your wheelhouse then mine, but that's the same conclusion I came to. One of the big reasons I left IT and eventually became a cop was needing some purpose. I would also add the disconnect from nature and death. Perhaps a bit of Agrarian Romanticism, but it's tough not to be grounded and purposeful as a farmer. Traditionally anyway, I suspect today's mechanized slaughterhouse, GPS-guided self driven tractor, industrial mega-farms have the same hold.

[BehindBlueI's]

I think we're going to hold differing points of view on this.

I suspect we are, but facts matter. If you want to believe people are evil, however you are defining that, knock yourself out.

However, don't slander people who disagree with you as lacking the intestinal fortitude to face your "truth" or the self-awareness to look inside themselves.

[Maple Syrup Actual]

I used to often wonder if I was a good person who just wasn't necessarily very nice, or a nice person who wasn't actually very good.

That's probably because I genuinely appreciate good manners, but at the same time I have the same animal impulses as everyone else so eventually my politeness wears thin and I struggle to remain friendly. If I wasn't inclined to be polite, or "nice" I doubt I would have spent much time on the thought at all.

Anyway I was riding down to Spokane to stay with Sidheshooter and go to another round of ECQC, and like a lot of motorcycle trips I spent most of it thinking. And it occurred to me that A) I was wasting a lot of time on what is really a pretty pop psychology question I'd invented for myself, and B) there's no answer because the question is kind of meaningless. Everyone is a complex mix of instincts, desires, frustrations, fears, beliefs, and traits, and of course I'm not really "good" because nobody is "good" deep down. They're something more complicated than "good" and hopefully they just do some good things and try to treat people around them reasonably well.


You know in my last job I had to do a lot of mentoring with younger guys coming up in my industry and some guys would end up telling you about their life stresses and general experience of day to day existence and it often struck me how hard they were working to try to fit themselves into a social construct that was pretty bizarre, if you think about it. I started saying to them things like, "hey look, if you're doing your taxes and you feel like you're going to lose your freaking mind if you have to talk to one more pantywaisted bureaucrat who quietly mumbles off an infinite list of rules you were supposed to follow and you feel like there's a part of you screaming at you to smash his head like a grape...dude, stop beating yourself up about that. Everyone acts like the society we're in should be making us happy but why would it? If you put a troop of chimps in the middle of fifty pinball machines and those were their constant surroundings the people running that zoo would get arrested. We're just primates. Stop expecting yourself to be happy while you apply for a mortgage or buy new pillows to go with the fifty other stupid pillows in your house. If the world of colour-matched dinettes and home equity lines of credit and letting yourself get talked down to by Karen in HR makes you want to go full killdozer, that's not because you're fucked up. It's because you're not fucked up. Just cope as best you can. Stop beating yourself up for not liking this."

I found most of the guys I talked to had never really had someone tell them it was okay to hate lots of the stuff people expected them to do, and that there were all kinds of guys who were being made miserable by the expectations placed on them. I don't know if that's just a certain cohort of guys who were having that specific experience of life or whether other groups are more used to this idea and this is common knowledge for other people or what.

But I know that the things I do that some people would think are "bad person" things, are mostly things about myself I think are pretty okay.

And the thing that I think is worst about myself, which is that I avoid conflict too frequently, is probably one of the things most people around me would think was an asset. But I genuinely wish that I had less "give" and more "take" in my personality.

[Cheap Shot]

We struggle to find meaning, because we don’t struggle to live.



Much wisdom here

[BWT]

It’s interesting a thread that started as observing things we regret in ourselves has changed into a thread questioning why we exist.

Hmmm... I don’t have an agenda with that just a curious thing.

I regret that I have such a strong need for approval - I emailed a pastor to go to lunch about it earlier this evening. I don’t want others approval, but yet I find myself almost by nature seeking it.

That’s not all bad - because it makes me compassionate in a measure, but on the other side of the coin it makes me inauthentic which I detest.

I think that’s my big one.

[AKDoug]

Share how you are not as good of a person as you can be. I am looking at this from a christian point of view but look at it any way you like and lets have fun with it.


I started typing something.. then realized that I feel like I'm a good person. Maybe my greatest failing is not being able to identify my own weaknesses.

[Sigfan26]

I started typing something.. then realized that I feel like I'm a good person. Maybe my greatest failing is not being able to identify my own weaknesses.

... Or, you’re a good person.


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[rcbusmc24]

I'm a Infantry Rifle Company GySgt..... I'm not a good person to anyone...or at least thats what the LCpl's think. Oh well. Life goes on, till it doesn't.

[BehindBlueI's]

I don’t want others approval, but yet I find myself almost by nature seeking it.

It is by nature. Being cast out from the group is literal death for all but the most recent of our evolutionary and social history. Same reason you get a fight-or-flight response to social slights or when your boss lights into your ass. A big chunk of your brain is still afraid because it associates social disapproval with exile and subsequent death.

[s0nspark]

People are not basically good, we have to learn how to be good. People are not basically bad, but it's much easier to do great evil than good.

I like to say that people are just flawed... and in different ways. We each have certain good or bad things that come easy to us, while others do not.

I certainly agree it is easy to do bad than good, especially when that bad can be something as simple as doing nothing.

[DC_P]

Yoda:
Yes, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice.

Luke:
Vader... Is the dark side stronger?

Yoda:
No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.

Luke:
But how am I to know the good side from the bad?

Yoda:
You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.

[MistWolf]

Yoda:...A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack...
...except during the Clone Wars

[JAD]

the question of good and evil is pretty big, and tied in to the nature of suffering. But directly to the OP’s question, 2 Cor 12:9.

[DC_P]

...except during the Clone Wars

Anything after the original 3 movies hardly qualifies as a reference...

[donlapalma]

I try hard to be a good person. I'll admit that there is always a tiny bit of doubt in the back of my mind and I often question whether I'm doing enough. When I was younger I thought that having that doubt was a bad thing, but today I think it actually serves to ensure that I never stop trying and that it will always be something I need to remain conscious of - and that is a good thing.

[MistWolf]

Anything after the original 3 movies hardly qualifies as a reference...

Clone Wars and Rebels were both very well done. In fact, Darth Vader was at his most terrifying in Rebels.