Side conversations inspired by Roll Call Stories Thread

[BehindBlueI's]

Roll Call Stories often inspire side conversations or comments that aren't really within the mission of Roll Call Stories. I'm making this thread specifically for those comments. It will keep Roll Call Stories as it was meant to be and still allow questions, side bars, etc.

The no judgement, no MMQB, no being a dick rules remain.

[Catshooter]

"checked my pockets for some professionalism, found none . . . " !?! Oh my god man, yer killing me here for sure. I near to choked to death with laughter, thanks.


Cat

[hufnagel]

BBI seriously needs to write his book already. His eventual retirement will be much better funded.

[Chuck Whitlock]

BBI seriously needs to write his book already. His eventual retirement will be much better funded.

His description of the geese MCI had me gasping for air!!

[BehindBlueI's]

Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I'm honestly in kind of an idle mode right now, but I might put something together next year. I've been considering an e-book, and have got a title in mind. Mid-career seems like a good time to do it, really. Do a volume from the beat cop and detective perspective and then at some point in the future juxtapose the supervisor experience.

[45dotACP]

Alright SOMEBODY owes me a new phone for the goose story. There is coffee all over this one.

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[Jared]

His description of the geese MCI had me gasping for air!!

Between that one and the one in GD about the beer and cereal combo, he owes me two phones and an explanation to my wife as to why I couldn't stop laughing

[BehindBlueI's]

Between that one and the one in GD about the beer and cereal combo,

My son loves that one, too.

[Nephrology]

Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I'm honestly in kind of an idle mode right now, but I might put something together next year. I've been considering an e-book, and have got a title in mind. Mid-career seems like a good time to do it, really. Do a volume from the beat cop and detective perspective and then at some point in the future juxtapose the supervisor experience.

If you publish a book, I'll buy a copy.

[hufnagel]

Might I suggest, a Patreon thing? Especially if you think you can publish a "chapter" worth of material on a regular/consistent basis.

[BehindBlueI's]

Might I suggest, a Patreon thing? Especially if you think you can publish a "chapter" worth of material on a regular/consistent basis.

I'm not sure how that sort of thing works. I might look into it.

I am starting to jot down notes for things as I remember them or they happen, though. I'm removing some irons from the fire at the end of this year, and will consider doing the book or at least doing installments.

[Nocturnalis Discipulo]

I would also be interested in buying the book or helping fund the chapters.

[RoyGBiv]

Oh, and the LT questioned my use of "if'n". He's under the impression if'n isn't a word. I explained I'm fluent in hillbilly and if'n most certainly is a word.
Thank you for starting my day with a great story and a good laugh.
I translate hillbilly for my wife when we're in NC (where we lived for 15+years). Hillbillies are my people too.

[Hambo]

Today one of my officers arrested a guy for DUI on a riding mower. The dispatch was "caller says male is driving a riding mower down (fairly major road) with a case of beer between his legs, a beer in the cup holder, and a beer in his hand.


Now in his mind he wasn't DUI, since you don't need a license to drive a lawnmower.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0Dhy01Pn7Y


My wife hired some tree cutters and said to me, "I need a translator. You speak redneck, go talk to them." Hillbillies...rednecks...they're all good. Great story, BBI.

[TheRoland]

Now in his mind he wasn't DUI, since you don't need a license to drive a lawnmower.



Depending on the mower, he may have an argument. It appears Indiana excludes "Farm Tractors" in the definition of motor vehicles, so if the mower is big enough...

Not a lawyer, no real understanding of the state, etc, etc.

[BigT]

BBI the table next to me looked at me like I was a window licker I laughed so loudly at that story

[blues]

Thank you for starting my day with a great story and a good laugh.
I translate hillbilly for my wife when we're in NC (where we lived for 15+years). Hillbillies are my people too.

Hillbillies? The effrontery! We are holler dwellers.

(We may have a redneck or two though. ;))

[blues]

One of our local residents, (now deceased), after having been deprived of his license would, for some time, come to the local watering hole on his rider mower. Eventually he was reduced to walking or having his wife drive him. (Until she was eventually 86'd from the establishment as well for her conduct unbecoming.)

He used to own a motel in town but lost interest after they closed the bar on its premises. :p

[RoyGBiv]

Hillbillies? The effrontery! We are holler dwellers.

(We may have a redneck or two though. ;))
Rednecks, actually. I was just going with the story.

My NC neighbor referred to himself as "The Pig Man", because, of course, he was a for-hire BBQ guy with a hand painted sign and two whole-pig cookers parked on his lawn. His wife made the awesomest biscuits.

[BehindBlueI's]

Depending on the mower, he may have an argument. It appears Indiana excludes "Farm Tractors" in the definition of motor vehicles, so if the mower is big enough...

Not a lawyer, no real understanding of the state, etc, etc.

It doesn't have to be a "motor vehicle" in Indiana. Just a "vehicle".


IC 9-30-5-1 ...
Sec. 1. (a) A person who operates a vehicle with an alcohol concentration equivalent to at least eight-hundredths (0.08) gram of alcohol but less than fifteen-hundredths (0.15) gram of alcohol per:


There's no requirement for the vehicle to be a "motor vehicle". It's not terribly unusual in some parts of the state for the Amish to get DUIs with their horse and buggies:

https://fox43.com/2016/08/19/amish-teen-charged-with-driving-his-buggy-drunk-with-friends-on-the-roof/

[TheRoland]

It doesn't have to be a "motor vehicle" in Indiana. Just a "vehicle".



There's no requirement for the vehicle to be a "motor vehicle". It's not terribly unusual in some parts of the state for the Amish to get DUIs with their horse and buggies:

https://fox43.com/2016/08/19/amish-teen-charged-with-driving-his-buggy-drunk-with-friends-on-the-roof/

You're right (naturally)!

[willie]

I remember trying to interpret “coonfingerin” to some folks not from around here.

Then there was the witness statement that had “necked” in it. The prosecutor said “the statement says he was necked what does that mean”. I said the word is pronounced “neck ed” it means he didn’t have any clothes on.


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The school teacher in me must point out that naked is really spelled nekkid. Geeze!

[BehindBlueI's]

You're right (naturally)!

I know...but I never get tired of hearing it. ;)

[Jeff22]

"I like hillbillies. They're my people."

After your retire and write your book, I want to buy an autographed copy . . .

[hufnagel]

I want a special limited edition book that has a <insert_your_favorite_caliber_here> round shot into the cover. :D
Oh, and a signature.