The kids are alright..."Monkey on the loose in San Antonio Airport"

[RevolverRob]

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/monkey-on-the-loose-today-san-antonio-international-airport-texas-2018-05-21/


Authorities say a monkey went bananas after escaping from its crate Monday at the San Antonio International Airport, CBS affiliate KENS-TV reports.

[JodyH]

Samsonite commercial?

[Stephanie B]

Maybe the monkey was trying to find its emotional support human.


Damn the iPhone Typos!

[Shoresy]

Depending on the luggage it may have been a ... wait for it... a trunk monkey

[RevolverRob]

My wife, "Byline should have said, "Monkey goes apeshit in airport after escaping..."

[pangloss]

Gotta be careful with the monkeys. Herpes B virus is no joke. I'm on record at a previous employer as having been bitten by a monkey which earned me the prize of $1,000 worth of Valtrex. That was a fun week.

[JodyH]

Gotta be careful with the monkeys. Herpes B virus is no joke. I'm on record at a previous employer as having been bitten by a monkey which earned me the prize of $1,000 worth of Valtrex. That was a fun week.
That's a heck of a story you made up to tell your wife.

[RevolverRob]

Gotta be careful with the monkeys. Herpes B virus is no joke. I'm on record at a previous employer as having been bitten by a monkey which earned me the prize of $1,000 worth of Valtrex. That was a fun week.

A very good friend of mine does animal research, previously on monkeys, now on fish. The colony was Herpes B positive. One day, a cage fell over in the research area and sliced through her scrubs and into her skin, leaving her a nice cut that took six stitches to close.

Off to the hospital for 2-weeks of Valtrex and blood panels.


That's a heck of a story you made up to tell your wife.

I keep telling her that shouting out loud, "I've had a valtrex prescription, but don't need it anymore" is not a good way to land a date...

[HCM]

I’m told it was actually a Baboon.

[pangloss]

That's a heck of a story you made up to tell your wife.

Ha! That angle never even occurred to me, but the story is sort of made up. I had a lab exposure to monkey serum, and I guess a lazy worker in employee health just decided to write "monkey bite" in my record. I don't think that I've ever actually touched a monkey. I found out about the false entry a few years later when I had my TB test read and glimpsed my chart over the nurses shoulder.


A very good friend of mine does animal research, previously on monkeys, now on fish. The colony was Herpes B positive. One day, a cage fell over in the research area and sliced through her scrubs and into her skin, leaving her a nice cut that took six stitches to close.

Off to the hospital for 2-weeks of Valtrex and blood panels.

I keep telling her that shouting out loud, "I've had a valtrex prescription, but don't need it anymore" is not a good way to land a date...

That's awful--definitely a much bigger danger than my exposure. As I understand it, monkeys can test negative but then shed virus when they are stressed. The samples I was working with came from "negative" monkeys, but the test isn't entirely trustworthy. (Maybe the tests are better now though. Seems like a decent serology test would be possible.) Mine and my wife's families came to visit for Thanksgiving the following week. I hadn't told them that I might die from Herpes B virus infection, but by that point I was greater than 99% sure I'd be okay (up from about 95% immediately following the exposure). I figured I'd have a little fun with the situation, so I left my giant bottle of Valtrex prominently displayed on the kitchen counter. My wife didn't see the humor in it and disappeared the bottle to our bathroom.

[RevolverRob]

I’m told it was actually a Baboon.

Baboon, monkey - whatever.

I've literally got a degree in Anthropology. I'm not splitting this ape hair...

[JAD]

Baboon, monkey - whatever.

I've literally got a degree in Anthropology. I'm not splitting this ape hair...

Ironically, I have a dress on layaway in Anthropology.

[Robinson]

I hate monkeys. They aren't as clever as they think they are, and they need to wipe that look off their face.

[Guerrero]

Baboon, monkey - whatever.

I've literally got a degree in Anthropology. I'm not splitting this ape hair...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--szrOHtR6U

[Totem Polar]

Ironically, I have a dress on layaway in Anthropology.

Doesn’t that give you issues with your AIWB draw?


;)

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Monkeys are dangerous. I worked in a Rhesus lab for bit. A woman was walking a 'nice' rhesus on a chain but it jumped on her head and started removing her scalp. One thing to point out, when an animal attacks you, your co-workers head for the horizon. Glad I wasn't there for that. Heard a story of cat that came out of anesthesia, leapt up to bite the guy on the neck and rip all four claws down his front.

[txdpd]

26513

Not to mention more immediate problems like eating your face.

[TAZ]

Monkeys are dangerous. I worked in a Rhesus lab for bit. A woman was walking a 'nice' rhesus on a chain but it jumped on her head and started removing her scalp. One thing to point out, when an animal attacks you, your co-workers head for the horizon. Glad I wasn't there for that. Heard a story of cat that came out of anesthesia, leapt up to bite the guy on the neck and rip all four claws down his front.

Monkeys are strong as hell and can be aggressive. Wasn’t there some woman killed/maimed by her pet chimp a while back.

[JodyH]

Monkeys are dangerous. I worked in a Rhesus lab for bit. A woman was walking a 'nice' rhesus on a chain but it jumped on her head and started removing her scalp. One thing to point out, when an animal attacks you, your co-workers head for the horizon. Glad I wasn't there for that. Heard a story of cat that came out of anesthesia, leapt up to bite the guy on the neck and rip all four claws down his front.
That self preservation lizard brain response to an animal attack is deeply ingrained in the human psyche.
I've seen guys who would immediately jump right in the middle of several people fighting (even when weapons were involved) that held back or even retreated when a large aggressive dog took in after someone.
Maybe the fear of being eaten is greater than the fear of just being killed?

[scw2]

Monkeys are strong as hell and can be aggressive. Wasn’t there some woman killed/maimed by her pet chimp a while back.

I assume that's the picture txdpd posted above yours. :eek:

[Totem Polar]

I assume that's the picture txdpd posted above yours. :eek:

That pic, right there, just re-ingnited the personal 9 v 45 debate for me. Thanks. Thanks a lot...

;)


(I realize that I am more likely to win the lotto and start collecting 3xx Ferraris than get jumped by a rabid chimp, but I still can’t help eyeballing the gov’t 1911 for edc after that post...)

[txdpd]

https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=d-0vbvy2ip4


That pic, right there, just re-ingnited the personal 9 v 45 debate for me. Thanks. Thanks a lot...

;)


(I realize that I am more likely to win the lotto and start collecting 3xx Ferraris than get jumped by a rabid chimp, but I still can’t help eyeballing the gov’t 1911 for edc after that post...)

Planet of the Apes? Closer than you think.

I'd go with 9 for capacity. Everything is harder to shoot when no one has the courtesy to stand still and get shot.

[Nocturnalis Discipulo]

That pic, right there, just re-ingnited the personal 9 v 45 debate for me. Thanks. Thanks a lot...

;)


(I realize that I am more likely to win the lotto and start collecting 3xx Ferraris than get jumped by a rabid chimp, but I still can’t help eyeballing the gov’t 1911 for edc after that post...)

Personally I am going to be asking orionz06 to make an AIWB holster for a Tac 14

[Totem Polar]

I'd go with 9 for capacity. Everything is harder to shoot when no one has the courtesy to stand still and get shot.

If they’re moving, they’re not clamped on my face. I’m only worried about ECQC here: extreme close quarter chimps.

Actually, now that I’m typing aloud, the old, full-house .357 makes some sense as a stand-off device. Flash in the Pan...

[orionz06]

Personally I am going to be asking orionz06 to make an AIWB holster for a Tac 14

I'l trade for that green Sinn U1.

[RevolverRob]

That self preservation lizard brain response to an animal attack is deeply ingrained in the human psyche.
I've seen guys who would immediately jump right in the middle of several people fighting (even when weapons were involved) that held back or even retreated when a large aggressive dog took in after someone.
Maybe the fear of being eaten is greater than the fear of just being killed?

We had a thread here or maybe it was over on TPI, about the mindset of people "talking shit at gunpoint". Where a considerable number of anecdotal observations boiled down to, "People will talk a lot of shit at gun point, but far fewer will talk shit at knife point."

The visceral, instinctual, reaction to sharp things going into your skin is a real phenomena, as far as I am concerned. A chimp biting you, or a baboon trying to rip your face off, isn't really that much different than an aggressive gang banger going after you with a knife. Maybe if we all rolled BJJ with chimps or dogs, we might get less fearful (maybe not). Something is deeply hardwired though and and when teeth, claws, or blades get involved, it seems to come out more.


That pic, right there, just re-ingnited the personal 9 v 45 debate for me. Thanks. Thanks a lot...

;)


(I realize that I am more likely to win the lotto and start collecting 3xx Ferraris than get jumped by a rabid chimp, but I still can’t help eyeballing the gov’t 1911 for edc after that post...)



https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=d-0vbvy2ip4



Planet of the Apes? Closer than you think.

I'd go with 9 for capacity. Everything is harder to shoot when no one has the courtesy to stand still and get shot.

Chimps are pretty damn robust animals. Their skulls are pretty strong and when they're in the mood to fight...well as near as I can tell, it's like trying to fight a muscular and pissed off 125-pound crackhead, with ridiculous agility.

My friend who used to do the monkey research, worked with Rhesus macaques, where a "big" male is ~25 pounds. And what she discovered is that even though she is 5'10", 140 pounds, and very fit, a pissed off 25-pound Rhesus macaque could make her his bitch if she wasn't aggressive with it. When she started that work, we started a lifting regime at the gym, it wasn't until she could squat 1.5x her body weight and do four sets of 50-pound curls that she could really "out muscle" an aggressive 8kg monkey.

[MistWolf]

That pic, right there, just re-ingnited the personal 9 v 45 debate for me. Thanks. Thanks a lot...

;)


(I realize that I am more likely to win the lotto and start collecting 3xx Ferraris than get jumped by a rabid chimp, but I still can’t help eyeballing the gov’t 1911 for edc after that post...)

Walther PPQ 45 gives you 12 rounds in a package the same size as the 1911.

...just sayin'...

[RevolverRob]

Walther PPQ 45 gives you 12 rounds in a package the same size as the 1911.

...just sayin'...

Shame it's a Walther. The literal Umarex of centerfire guns...:eek:

[MistWolf]

Shame it's a Walther. The literal Umarex of centerfire guns...:eek:

The PPQ 45 is made at the Walther factory in Ulm. The Umarex factory is in Arnsberg.

NYAH!

[Glenn E. Meyer]

This is what happens when you call the law for a face eating chimp:

In a bizarre, but now-familiar incident, a woman calls the police to deal with a crazed chimp that is eating her friend (www.wfsb. com/news/18742956/detail.html). Look at the highlighted part:

DISPATCHER: Stamford 911 where’s your emergency?

HEROLD: Inaudible ... 241
RockRockrimmon Road (chimp begins screaming) send the police!

DISPATCHER: What’s the problem? (Chimp screaming)

HEROLD: Send the police! (Chimp screaming)

DISPATCHER: What’s the problem there? (Chimp screaming)

HEROLD: The, that the chimp killed my, my friend.

DISPATCHER: What’s wrong with your friend? (Chimp screaming)

HEROLD: (gasps, breathing hard, press- es button) (Chimp screaming)

DISPATHER: What’s the problem with your friend? (Chimp screaming)

HEROLD: Oh, please! (Chimp heard screaming in background)

DISPATCHER: What’s the problem with your friend, I need to know. (Chimp screaming)

HEROLD: Send the police up with a gun, with a gun, hurry up! (Chimp screaming)
DISPATCHER: Who has the gun? HEROLD: Please hurry up! Please hur-
ry up! He’s killin’ my girlfriend!

DISPATCHER TO POLICE: 241
Rockrimmon Road they’re sayin’ someone has a gun and trying to kill somebody.

----

Google chimp attacks on how they like to rip off your balls and feet and eat your face. On labl monkeys, you had to watch them as some of the rhesus would spend the whole day shaking their cage doors to crystallize the metal, so it would break.

[BobM]

Years ago, on another forum, a former deputy in Texas related a tale of putting down a chimp. As I recall, it was moving around a small town and biting people on their Achilles' tendons.

[Lost River]

Ha! That angle never even occurred to me, but the story is sort of made up. I had a lab exposure to monkey serum, and I guess a lazy worker in employee health just decided to write "monkey bite" in my record. I don't think that I've ever actually touched a monkey. I found out about the false entry a few years later when I had my TB test read and glimpsed my chart over the nurses shoulder.



That's awful--definitely a much bigger danger than my exposure. As I understand it, monkeys can test negative but then shed virus when they are stressed. The samples I was working with came from "negative" monkeys, but the test isn't entirely trustworthy. (Maybe the tests are better now though. Seems like a decent serology test would be possible.) Mine and my wife's families came to visit for Thanksgiving the following week. I hadn't told them that I might die from Herpes B virus infection, but by that point I was greater than 99% sure I'd be okay (up from about 95% immediately following the exposure). I figured I'd have a little fun with the situation, so I left my giant bottle of Valtrex prominently displayed on the kitchen counter. My wife didn't see the humor in it and disappeared the bottle to our bathroom.



'Ha! That angle never even occurred to me, but the story is sort of made up. I had a lab exposure to monkey serum, and I guess a lazy worker in employee health just decided to write "monkey bite" in my record. '


HOLY CRAP! I read that second sentence as " I had a lab exposure to monkey "semun", and I guess a lazy worker in employee health just decided to write "monkey bite" in my record.




I simply thought " semun" was a typo for semen.. When you read the story under the context of semen and are half looped, it is rather comical!!

[pangloss]

'Ha! That angle never even occurred to me, but the story is sort of made up. I had a lab exposure to monkey serum, and I guess a lazy worker in employee health just decided to write "monkey bite" in my record. '


HOLY CRAP! I read that second sentence as " I had a lab exposure to monkey "semun", and I guess a lazy worker in employee health just decided to write "monkey bite" in my record.




I simply thought " semun" was a typo for semen.. When you read the story under the context of semen and are half looped, it is rather comical!!

That would make for a much different story! People do work with all sort of samples. I'm certain that by now someone somewhere has measured Zika virus titers in monkey semen. I'd be okay with measuring virus in monkey semen, but I wouldn't want to collect the samples!!!