Lost At Sea

[MistWolf]

I had plans to get together with a friend of mine tomorrow to build a short 308 AR to test suppressors with. While discussing my Saturday plans with my wife over lunch, I received a text message from my friend canceling our plans.

"I'm flying out to be with my baby sister," it reads. "My nephew was out crabbing and is lost at sea."

"Lost at sea". Not only are those the last words I ever thought to hear from a friend, those are words I never thought to hear at all. I had to read them several times over to make sure it wasn't some horrible joke. They are supposed to be words you read in an adventure novel, not something you expect to hear from a friend. They aren't supposed to be words describing the real life tragedy a friend has to deal with personally. You expect "My nephew was killed by a drunk driver" or "He died from a cancer the doctors didn't find until it was too late" or "He had a heart attack". They are no less tragic, but normal in our modern world.

But lost at sea? It's surreal. It's hard to wrap your head around. It complicates the loss because the body is lost at sea, leaving you wondering if he's really dead. Maybe it will be like one of those stories where the victim will be found, still alive, on some small island, or clinging for dear life to a scrap of flotsam, or was rescued by a fishing boat. When there's a body, you can say "Ok, Junior is dead, time to get on with the mourning." But how do you do that when there is no body? Chances are, the nephew is dead and the body will never be found. How long does one cling to hope before accepting the victim is not only missing, but dead? That "Lost At Sea" usually means "DEAD"?

Just before this came up, I was discussing another matter with my wife and I said to her with a bright smile "After all, what is life without risk?"

[Robinson]

Man that's rough. I hope you hear good news, however unlikely that may be.

[blues]

Few things more frightening to the imagination. I hope that rescue is still a possibility. I have a lot of confidence in the men and women who work in SAR operations so let's hope for the best while there is still some to hold on to.

[CWM11B]

Sorry to hear of your friend's loss. Not to be flippant at a time like this, but to answer the question about how long before one is considered lost depends on where he was , water temp, circumstances (fell/swept overboard with no injury vs. knocked over by a boom or piece of equipment causing injury of some sort), wearing a survival suit, etc. In a world I lived in long ago "Lost at sea" was usually stated "Missing and presumed lost". This meant SAR efforts would be abandoned. The decision would be made based on time in water, temprature (water and air), sea state, wind speed, location when in the water, and when they were discovered to be missing. Truly hope there is a positive outcome

[MistWolf]

Sorry to hear of your friend's loss. Not to be flippant at a time like this, but to answer the question about how long before one is considered lost depends on where he was , water temp, circumstances (fell/swept overboard with no injury vs. knocked over by a boom or piece of equipment causing injury of some sort), wearing a survival suit, etc. In a world I lived in long ago "Lost at sea" was usually stated "Missing and presumed lost". This meant SAR efforts would be abandoned. The decision would be made based on time in water, temprature (water and air), sea state, wind speed, location when in the water, and when they were discovered to be missing. Truly hope there is a positive outcome

I understand this part. But I'm talking about the emotional part. What if, someday, my son is lost? What if the aircraft he's flying disappears off the face of the Earth and his body is never recovered? How long do I hope for good news until I have to give him up for dead in my heart? That would be the most anguishing time I could ever experience. Hoping against hope that they'll find him well, fearing they will find him dead and caught in limbo if they never find him at all. How would I move on without feeling like I'm somehow betraying my son?

My friend and his family are about to go through the roughest patch I can imagine. There, but by the grace of God, goes I.

[OlongJohnson]

There, but by the grace of God, goes each of us.

The little town I grew up in had a memorial down by the docks for all the men who had been lost fishing. It was one of the main industries there.

[RJ]

Wow so sorry to hear.

That must be hard to reckon with.

For some reason known only to God I went through a number of deaths in my family at a young age. It put my 25 year old life in perspective, at the time. As in the James Dean quote, “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die tomorrow.”

Rest In Peace.

[Gadfly]

Tagging. But only in hopes of hearing about a positive resolution.

I would imagine “crabbing” as a casual event. Not the commercial crab fishing of “deadliest Catch” on TV. I would hope that means not too far out to sea. Unfortunately, commercial crab fishing seems incredibly dangerous...

Hoping for the best. And in the event that is beyond reach, hoping for a recovery. A funeral could help begin the healing process. The never knowing would be truly be hell.


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[Totem Polar]

Wow. Just wow. I hope for a speedy resolution. Very poignant post.

[DpdG]

For a 5 year period I made my living on the ocean, and while I knew the risks, I selfishly never put much thought into the mental and emotional anguish of such a calamity could cause for my loved ones. The sea did teach me that natural forces do not yield to the will of man and sometimes no matter how skilled the seafarer, Neptune can claim another victim.

Many seafaring communities have fishermen's memorials, but I've always found solace in the iconic memorial in Gloucester, MA.

23690

[03RN]

I'm sorry to hear about your friends loss.

I spent 10 years as a commercial lobsterman. There's been a few times in squalls that really force a gut check this time of year.
February is actually my favorite month at sea. Something about the sky is different.
I actually got married at the Gallilee Fishermans​ Memorial

[LSP552]

So sorry to hear this. I will keep your friend and his family in my thoughts and prayers.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

My sympathies to those involved. Quite a few years ago, my cousin lost her husband on a fishing boat out of Rhode Island. Never found. She truly never recovered from her loss. Best wishes and hopes.

[blues]

The closest I've ever come to such a personal experience was while on a dive boat in the Gulf Stream off the coast of Miami. A perfect storm of events occurred simultaneously which nearly ended in tragedy.

A strong front moved in making the swells pretty severe. The Gulf Stream is fast at most times but under the circumstances it seemed to be running quicker. An experienced diver got caught in the current and was being pulled out to sea. He was already a good distance from the boat when spotted.

As fate would have it, the anchor line or another line got fouled in the prop and with the boat bobbing like a toy it took many attempts to get the rope cut and un-jammed from the shaft.

Meanwhile, I'm standing on top of the boat's cabin trying to keep an eye on the diver with both of us using the universal signals to one another.

Long story short, we were able to get the boat running and retrieve the diver who was very thankful to be alive, as were we all for his sake.

It remains as one of those harrowing days that one never quite forgets.

I only hope the current circumstances of the OP turn out to have as fortunate a conclusion.

[Mjolnir]

My heartfelt condolences... I don't have any other words of comfort other than he's with the Creator.

Godspeed...


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[Chance]

Man, I'm sorry to hear this. Losing a loved one is bad enough, but those circumstances are just awful.