Humor: Spider Bites Australian Man on Penis Again

[Chance]

That's the actual BBC News headline. Spider Bites Australian Man on Penis Again (http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-37481251):


A 21-year-old Australian tradesman has been bitten by a venomous spider on the penis for a second time.

The man was using a portable toilet on a Sydney building site on Tuesday, when he suffered a repeat of the incident five months ago.

Jordan, who preferred not to reveal his surname, said he was bitten on "pretty much the same spot" by the spider.

"I'm the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment," he told the BBC.

"I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time.

"I was like 'I can't believe it's happened again.' I looked down and I've seen a few little legs come from around the rim."

....

One of his colleagues took him from the worksite in north-west Sydney to Blacktown Hospital - although many of his workmates were quick to see the lighter side of the situation.

"They got worried the first time," he said.

"This time they were making jokes before I was getting in the car."



I'd say making fun of a man who has a spider bite on his penis is a...

(•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

dick move.

[Sero Sed Serio]

That's the actual BBC News headline. Spider Bites Australian Man on Penis Again (http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-37481251):



I'd say making fun of a man who has a spider bite on his penis is a...

(•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

dick move.

Bro, that's below the belt...

[Corey]

That hurts just think about.:(

[RoyGBiv]

That hurts just think about.:(

Yeah... No humor in that... <cringe>

[Erik]

Shrinkage?

[45dotACP]

Wonder what kinda spider...some spider venoms are known to cause priapism....

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

[Clusterfrack]

That's fucked up. Pretty much anything biting your cock is bad news. Spiders, pythons, K9s...

[Chance]

Wonder what kinda spider...some spider venoms are known to cause priapism....


Says a redback spider, which is evidently related to a black widow. At any rate, spider bites are unlikely to be replacing ED meds any time soon.

[45dotACP]

Says a redback spider, which is evidently related to a black widow. At any rate, spider bites are unlikely to be replacing ED meds any time soon.
Haha yeah probably not...I was thinking of the wandering spiders in any case... Brazilian I think...and I think the whole boner thing typically precedes a pretty painful death.

...still, underestimate the stupidity of the average human and you're bound to be surprised again and again.

[Sero Sed Serio]

That's fucked up. Pretty much anything biting your cock is bad news. Spiders, pythons, K9s...

10874

[MistWolf]

That's fucked up. Pretty much anything biting your cock is bad news. Spiders, pythons, K9s...

...angry redheads...

[Sensei]

Says a redback spider, which is evidently related to a black widow. At any rate, spider bites are unlikely to be replacing ED meds any time soon.

The redback is the cousin to our black widow. Bites usually cause local pain, muscle cramps, and rarely serious systemic illness. Although there is an antivenom, it is rarely needed. Contrast that with this nasty player that is common around Sydney: http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2016/02/meet-big-boy-the-funnel-web-spider

Prior to antivenom, fatal bites from male funnel web spiders were seen from time to time - especially in children. One kid reportedly died within 20 minutes. Thus, get bit on the pecker in the wood and you may have to make some tough choices real fast ;).

[45dotACP]

The redback is the cousin to our black widow. Bites usually cause local pain, muscle cramps, and rarely serious systemic illness. Although there is an antivenom, it is rarely needed. Contrast that with this nasty player that is common around Sydney: http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2016/02/meet-big-boy-the-funnel-web-spider

Prior to antivenom, fatal bites from male funnel web spiders were seen from time to time - especially in children. One kid reportedly died within 20 minutes. Thus, get bit on the pecker in the wood and you may have to make some tough choices real fast ;).
Well...20 minutes is a fairly quick way to go.

[Chance]

Thus, get bit on the pecker in the wood and you may have to make some tough choices real fast ;).

This isn't fun anymore.

[Clusterfrack]

This isn't fun anymore.

Depends on who is on hand to suck the venom out

[JohnO]

Thus, get bit on the pecker in the wood and you may have to make some tough choices real fast ;).

Paging Lorena Bobbit. I'm sure she could cut right through to the meat of the problem.

[Sensei]

Double Tap

[Tom Duffy]

Speaking of funnel web spiders, a friend of mine is a British expat who works very hard as a consultant for 9 months of the year and is financially able to spend three months of the year at his home in Australia around Christmas time. His wife travels with him while he's working, so they both return to Sydney at the same time. His job when they return home? He gets to kill all the funnel web spiders in the house before his wife goes in. In my house, my wife kills the spiders. I'm too afraid.

[GJM]

No time for the details now, but Robbie Leatham got bit in the same place (pecker/out house) by a scorpion at nationals in FL many years ago.

[Hambo]

The lesson here, kids, is to take a dump at home in relative safety.

[RoyGBiv]

Show of hands please....

Who among us has recently started lifting the toilet seat and checking the bowl for visitors before sitting down?

https://media.giphy.com/media/VStxBrCyssRPO/source.gif

[Coyotesfan97]

IIRC it was in Death In The Long Grass where where Peter Capstick Hathaway was about to use the outhouse when a Black Mamba reared its head out of the hole. Double barreled shotgun blast into the muck and burning the outhouse down no snake...

[Sensei]

The lesson here, kids, is to take a dump at home in relative safety.

I agree with your premise, but...

https://youtu.be/NwcVJMvVWDA

[11B10]

The redback is the cousin to our black widow. Bites usually cause local pain, muscle cramps, and rarely serious systemic illness. Although there is an antivenom, it is rarely needed. Contrast that with this nasty player that is common around Sydney: http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2016/02/meet-big-boy-the-funnel-web-spider

Prior to antivenom, fatal bites from male funnel web spiders were seen from time to time - especially in children. One kid reportedly died within 20 minutes. Thus, get bit on the pecker in the wood and you may have to make some tough choices real fast ;).




That has to be the nastiest set of fangs, at least on a spider, that I've ever seen.

[RoyGBiv]

Was at the range yesterday afternoon... As I'm walking in, the RO went looking for something in the next lane (private lane, so, doors) and I hear him yelp. I look over and there's a hairy looking spider about the size of a dollar bill folded in half. I immediately thought of you guys. Before I could yell stop to get a photo, RO starts trying to boot the thing into oblivion. After 4-5 kicks he seemed to have some success. I was ready to draw just in case. :rolleyes: