The Call

[breakingtime91]

I have been a part of this forum since I got back from my second deployment. I still remember LL commenting on my first thread and basically calling me a idiot for not considering bcm for a carbine. I decided to write this thread because I know there are plenty of veterans and cops on this forum that have either moved on to a new career field of retired out of the fields i am going to mention. My contract (active/inactive reserve) is done next month. For a quick background I was a member of the 1st Marine Divison Light Armored Recon unit while I served in the Marine Corps. During my four years of active duty I did 14 months of service in Helmand province Afghanistan and quite a few months doing work ups for deployments. Currently I am finishing my bachelors for elementary education and I love the job (currently working as a assistant while I finish my degree) but I miss everything about being deployed.

I have some days where I feel completely shitty about myself for not staying in longer or have days where I feel like I didn't do enough for my county and am letting my time slip by. I guess I am just curios if this feeling or call to service ever passes. It has been three years since I last wore a uniform but I still struggle with it.

[Totem Polar]

I'm hoping that folks with more direct experience will soon chime in.
That said: dude, there are folks here who have not had the distinction of wearing a uniform at all (eg. Me) so keep that in mind. As well, teaching is a calling too: the idea of a member of this forum being responsible for groups of our country's kids makes me damn happy, frankly.

Beyond that, I'll have to bow out. Thank you for your service.

[DocGKR]

Yes, it eventually passes, but takes 5+ years or so for many.

[ReverendMeat]

I EAS'd from the Marines in 2010, so at this point I've been out longer than I was in.

I had and have the same feeling as you. I hated my time in, I couldn't wait to EAS, yet the day I checked out on terminal, on the plane leaving Jacksonville, NC, I cried.

I was able to focus on that Post-9/11 GI Bill free college but now that's over too. I keep thinking about reenlisting but I'm almost 30 and I think my time is running out.

[Duelist]

Army. Spent a bit under nine years in, a lot of time active, a lot guard but activated. Some time in Afghanistan, Egypt, Kuwait (2x), stared at Iraq for a long time while dodging rockets. This month is my tenth anniversary of getting out, and it is weird to realize that I have been out longer than I was in.

You'll never forget it, but it can't, and shouldn't, be your entire life. You have a new career, and it's a great one. You take into it the things your military service gave you: tenacity, performance under pressure, the ability to deal with silly stuff superiors tell you to do in a professional manner, the ability to deal with the silly stuff privates do without killing them, and so forth. That will all translate very well into your education career.

How do I know? Master of Education. I work in a high school. Career prep, college prep, dual enrollment manager, guidance counseling. Working on a second masters in school counseling.

I still miss being deployed, but I love being with my family every day, and getting to have a predictable schedule, and not having to wonder if I'm getting a call today to go someplace awful and not be able to tell my family much about it. The Army was a big part of my life. It defined a lot about me for a long time, and when it was time to move on, it was hard to let go of. You have a new calling. Embrace it, love it, and learn to be the best damn elementary teacher you can be.

I'm still "Being All I Can Be." You can still be one of "The Few and The Proud."

[Kiniffy]

got out in 08 after 6 years boiling water with a magic rock, took 2 solid years to get my head out(hanging out with HS friends who were in the Army and the Men's Department brought out alot of strange thoughts.) after wearing a uniform of some kind since i was 7 the call to serve in some way still comes up, don't know if it ever goes away, been out just longer than i was in as of last fall and that was a very strange day. the next weird one is the day you could have retired I'm told. anyway lots of rambling but your not alone and being a non liberal idiot involved in ed'jumakation is pretty damn admirable

[The Apprentice]

I never served it is really the only real regret I have. I was all set to go out of high school but got cold feet and the parents weren't really supportive about the idea. All I can say is thanks for your service and if you love teaching think of the great service you will continue for your country in shaping the minds of the next generation. A good teacher is a rare thing.

[WobblyPossum]

With 14 months in Helmand, you've already done more for our country than most. You can do a lot as a teacher too. You'll be helping to mold the minds of our future citizens, coworkers, neighbors.


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[SLG]

I was never in the military, but was fortunate enough to do 3 tours in Afghanistan, one on Iraq, and a bunch in other unpleasant places as well. Most of those tours were working directly with the military. I learned a ton, and consider myself extremely lucky. I miss it everyday. My last deployment was in 2007.

[El Cid]

I can't comment on when the call to serve subsides - I went from the military to LE. But as DanM said, you've given WAY more than most could ever comprehend. You've served your share and then some, so while it's not easy, try not to second guess yourself.

Now there are times that I miss the military for environmental reasons. It was structured, I didn't have to decide what to wear each day, and after a few years the civilian world can seem scary and unpredictable. Even in LE, there are times I miss the military because in my current job it often feels like a bunch of us happen to work in the same building. I don't feel the same team focus where we all have the same mission/goal like I did in DoD. That part may never pass. Not everyone is built for military service, so I think it's natural that those of us who served will miss it after we transition to other professions.

[LittleLebowski]

I definitely miss it. Holding onto my uniforms for my kids.

Also....HIGHLANDERS!

[Nephrology]

Joining the military was my greatest dream as a young person but I was medically ineligible, which was very difficult to live with at the time. Since then I have found my way into the medical profession, which has different uniforms, different language, different tools and a different mission - but its not at all hard to repurpose the same drive to serve others into another career. I am sure you will find the same. Thanks to you and all others for your service.

[Unobtanium]

From my standpoint, as a civilian in the medical field, there are thousands of ways to serve your country. Don't get down or upset or wistful that you have simply changed the method in which you are bettering the world around you.

[Irelander]

I was never in the military but I regret pretty much every day not serving when I had the chance. I doubt that will ever go away. I felt the call but decided to start a family and go the college route. Now I'm stuck in a cubicle.

Thank you all for your service. I realize its a tough gig but your experiences are priceless.

[Mike C]

OP, I still miss it. Being deployed were some of the best and worst days of my life and I'm sure that you can relate. Doc is pretty much on point about most I think but for me it's been hard being out. I still find myself wishing I was in pretty regularly and haven't quite found my way.

Lastly I'll echo what others have stated in that you have already served this country and more than most. Take pride in that and don't forget it. I have to be reminded on the regular because I still never feel like I did enough. If that's you, just try and remember or find something that will give you similar satisfaction, (I know easy to say but hard to do). The teaching profession is also quite nobel and we could use more solid and grounded people there. Not to sound all sappy but our children are our future and one day they will be making all the decisions. Nothing wrong with wanting to make sure they make educated ones and don't put more holes into an already sinking ship.

[LSP972]

OP, as someone pointed out, you have paid your dues to your country. Sounds like you are on the point of starting a career. THAT is what you should be focusing on. The military used to be a sort of "cradle to grave" organization; no longer. Our benevolent politicians have gutted the retirement and medical benefits to the point that the welfare rats live better than a retired senior enlisted person.

I did almost eight years in the army; got out and became a state trooper, and then was lured into re-entering military service by a fried... and I signed up as an Air Force reservist. It was okay, if quite different from what I was accustomed to. I was deployed to Desert Storm at the last minute, but the war started just after the KC-10 left the ground at Barksdale AFB, and was over by the time we landed in Turkey. So we flew back, and I basically sat on my thumbs for 90 days until I was finally released. Then I transferred far away from BAFB, and some colonel in Denver refused to approve my transfer from SAC to an ATC billet (security police/law enforcement both ways) at Keesler AFB. 2SPS was cool with it, the Security squadron at Keesler wanted me, this colonel was just being a dick.

Here's the key part... I remember thinking, "You know, asshole officers like this is why I got out in the first place!" So I faded away. The only real fun I ever had in those years was working with the CATM guys at Barksdale when they first got the M9 pistol. We were working on transitioning to the Sig P226 at the same time. And of course, I was always getting flak from State Police brass about being away, despite being able to arrange most of my man-days on off days. Management is supposed to support the week-end warrior when his name is called. Some do... but many just get annoyed, and you WILL pay for their inconvenience.

My advice to you is... don't do it. Its going to be tough enough getting yourself established in your career field.

.

[JHC]

I have been a part of this forum since I got back from my second deployment. I still remember LL commenting on my first thread and basically calling me a idiot for not considering bcm for a carbine. I decided to write this thread because I know there are plenty of veterans and cops on this forum that have either moved on to a new career field of retired out of the fields i am going to mention. My contract (active/inactive reserve) is done next month. For a quick background I was a member of the 1st Marine Divison Light Armored Recon unit while I served in the Marine Corps. During my four years of active duty I did 14 months of service in Helmand province Afghanistan and quite a few months doing work ups for deployments. Currently I am finishing my bachelors for elementary education and I love the job (currently working as a assistant while I finish my degree) but I miss everything about being deployed.

I have some days where I feel completely shitty about myself for not staying in longer or have days where I feel like I didn't do enough for my county and am letting my time slip by. I guess I am just curios if this feeling or call to service ever passes. It has been three years since I last wore a uniform but I still struggle with it.

IME it never leaves you. It gets worse in times of crisis. Count your blessings that you did as much as you did. Imagine if you hadn't done anything!

[LittleLebowski]

From a selfish point of view, I miss being one of the best at what I did as a water survival instructor. From an unselfish point of view (as a grunt), there was nothing more rewarding than helping a young Marine along and seeing him change. Too many people have and did have back then even, a "zero defects" mentality.

[11B10]

IME it never leaves you. It gets worse in times of crisis. Count your blessings that you did as much as you did. Imagine if you hadn't done anything!





JHC - I share your thoughts, 100%. I got drafted in 1967, discharged in 1973 - and to the day I die will always feel I shortchanged this great country. I'm sure others here can relate.

First - all of you who have returned - thank you from one old grunt. May God comfort those who still suffer issues from their service - and especially the families of those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. May their righteous souls be finally at rest.

[11B10]

From a selfish point of view, I miss being one of the best at what I did as a water survival instructor. From an unselfish point of view (as a grunt), there was nothing more rewarding than helping a young Marine along and seeing him change. Too many people have and did have back then even, a "zero defects" mentality.



LL - I posted before I read yours - the word "grunt" does seem to be a common one, eh? Thanks for all you did.

[okie john]

Currently I am finishing my bachelors for elementary education and I love the job (currently working as a assistant while I finish my degree) but I miss everything about being deployed.

You will always miss being in uniform, but you're already serving again. You get used to it. Sort of.


Okie John

[BehindBlueI's]

Army, and I joined right out of high school as a barefoot hillbilly who'd never been anywhere and never done anything. I reenlisted once, then a combination of reasons let me to ETS. Pissed off about an injury, my wife (future ex-wife) wanting to not move around, pissed off about my injury, wanting to try something different, pissed off about my injury, being young and inexperienced and grass is always greener, being pissed off about my injury, and I was a bit upset because I couldn't perform at the levels I used to due to an injury.

I *hated* the civilian world. I hated the lack of camaraderie. I hated the confusion of who's really in charge vs who should be in charge (gatekeepers vs titled leaders). I hated the lack of sense of purpose. I worked for a company doing IT and knew that we sold a bullshit product that added no value to anyone's life, and felt rudderless. I would likely have drank myself to death/jail had 9/11 not brought on the contractor gigs and I could get back into the environment I knew without actually going back into the military (which I was actually kind of pissed at). After that, I got into law enforcement and I've been fine ever since (relatively speaking). At least for me, I needed that sense of purpose and of making a difference. That was my replacement for the purpose of military service.

The relevant take-away is it only got me down when I felt purposeless. If you can look at teaching as your purpose, as helping raise these kids into valuable members of society as beneficial to our nation and as a worthwhile purpose for you, you'll probably be fine. If you constantly what-if, pine for, and fail to accept this mission/purpose change you'll tear yourself down. It's DIFFERENT. It's not better, it's not worse, it's just different. Embrace it and move on

[Duces Tecum]

Ross Perot said it best: "Eagles don't flock".

There are two corollaries to this. The first is that eagles are lonely. Thy have few (if any) friends. People find it hard to relate to eagles, and the civilian world tends to avoid them . . . until trouble starts, again.

The second corollary is that should a man find himself among other eagles, even briefly, it changes him. Before testing himself against known eagles, he knew only that he didn't quite fit in anywhere. Perhaps he did not see things as other people did. Don Juan perfectly expressed the situation: "To the normal man, things are either a blessing or a curse. To the warrior, they are only a challenge". Once finding there are others in the world like him (even if so few), who see things as challenges, he is never quite the same ever again. You know that because ever-after the individual eagle self-references in terms of his being, once, an eagle among other eagles. It's certainly not a "I'm neat and you're not" reference. It's more like "There was a time in my life when I felt really and truly alive, and I miss it so." Think of the people on the pointy end: police, Marines, swift water rescue teams, etc. Even when they leave, their time in the arena continues to identify them.

When the eagle finds himself once again among pigeons, it's probably best for him to consider it just another challenge. Anything less wears on the mind.

Good luck, OP, and thanks for being you.

[MGW]

I have been a part of this forum since I got back from my second deployment. I still remember LL commenting on my first thread and basically calling me a idiot for not considering bcm for a carbine. I decided to write this thread because I know there are plenty of veterans and cops on this forum that have either moved on to a new career field of retired out of the fields i am going to mention. My contract (active/inactive reserve) is done next month. For a quick background I was a member of the 1st Marine Divison Light Armored Recon unit while I served in the Marine Corps. During my four years of active duty I did 14 months of service in Helmand province Afghanistan and quite a few months doing work ups for deployments. Currently I am finishing my bachelors for elementary education and I love the job (currently working as a assistant while I finish my degree) but I miss everything about being deployed.

I have some days where I feel completely shitty about myself for not staying in longer or have days where I feel like I didn't do enough for my county and am letting my time slip by. I guess I am just curios if this feeling or call to service ever passes. It has been three years since I last wore a uniform but I still struggle with it.

Is there a chance you miss the comradery more than actually being in the Marines? There are few people outside of the military that really understand what it's like to trust someone else with your life. The bonds that are built spending day in and day out with a group of people focused on a mission are extremely strong as you well know.

Education is a great profession but it isn't going to give you the same feelings of accomplishment and belonging you had while in the Marines. The feeling will pass somewhat but you will always probably feel like you should be doing more. I'm not a Marine but I'm still in the guard. Even doing that there are days I feel like I should be on deployment and doing "real" work.

I spend a lot of my time as both a paid and volunteer athletics coach. I love it. I feel like I can pass a lot of good stuff onto the kids I work with. I do my part to walk the walk and talk the talk. I help to keep other coaches focused on developing great kids and not getting wrapped up in the X's and O's all the time. It's one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.

Coaching might not be for you. But if you can find something that you can volunteer for I think you will find it very rewarding. You might even find that you like it more than your time in the Marines.

Just a thought brother. I hope you find something useful in it.

Thank you for what you have done for our country and the sacrifices you made doing it. We will not forget.

[grok13]

Something to maybe consider...

http://www.teamrubiconusa.org/


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[Default.mp3]

An interesting tangent this thread reminded me of was Sebastian Junger's TED talk; Junger is the journalist that wrote War and directed a couple of documentaries, such as Restrepo and Korengal.

https://www.ted.com/talks/sebastian_junger_why_veterans_miss_war/transcript?language=en


The boys are up there for a year. They got back. Some of them got out of the Army and had tremendous psychological problems when they got home. Some of them stayed in the Army and were more or less okay, psychologically. I was particularly close to a guy named Brendan O'Byrne. I'm still very good friends with him. He came back to the States. He got out of the Army. I had a dinner party one night. I invited him, and he started talking with a woman, one of my friends, and she knew how bad it had been out there, and she said, "Brendan, is there anything at all that you miss about being out in Afghanistan, about the war?" And he thought about it quite a long time, and finally he said, "Ma'am, I miss almost all of it." And he's one of the most traumatized people I've seen from that war. "Ma'am, I miss almost all of it."

What is he talking about? He's not a psychopath. He doesn't miss killing people. He's not crazy. He doesn't miss getting shot at and seeing his friends get killed. What is it that he misses? We have to answer that. If we're going to stop war, we have to answer that question.

I think what he missed is brotherhood. He missed, in some ways, the opposite of killing. What he missed was connection to the other men he was with. Now, brotherhood is different from friendship. Friendship happens in society, obviously. The more you like someone, the more you'd be willing to do for them. Brotherhood has nothing to do with how you feel about the other person. It's a mutual agreement in a group that you will put the welfare of the group, you will put the safety of everyone in the group above your own. In effect, you're saying, "I love these other people more than I love myself".

...

This wasn't invented recently. Many of you have probably read The Iliad. Achilles surely would have risked his life or given his life to save his friend Patroclus. In World War II, there were many stories of soldiers who were wounded, were brought to a rear base hospital, who went AWOL, crawled out of windows, slipped out doors, went AWOL, wounded, to make their way back to the front lines to rejoin their brothers out there. So you think about Brendan, you think about all these soldiers having an experience like that, a bond like that, in a small group, where they loved 20 other people in some ways more than they loved themselves, you think about how good that would feel, imagine it, and they are blessed with that experience for a year, and then they come home, and they are just back in society like the rest of us are, not knowing who they can count on, not knowing who loves them, who they can love, not knowing exactly what anyone they know would do for them if it came down to it. That is terrifying. Compared to that, war, psychologically, in some ways, is easy, compared to that kind of alienation. That's why they miss it, and that's what we have to understand and in some ways fix in our society.

[Duelist]

Holy shit. Somebody actually gets it.

[11B10]

OP - there is so much "meat" in the responses here for you - and for all of us. I have found yet another thread that I will return to - learning something each time. Guess you could say I'm drinking the p-f Kool Aid? Best damn Kool Aid I'VE ever had! You younger guys reading this stuff - don't be a knuckleheadknowitall like I was - do not take it for granted - this is special.

[ranger]

First, thanks for your service. I retired in July after 33 years of commissioned service as an Infantry Officer in the Army - AC, Reserve, TXARNG, GAARNG (long story - I had a chance to stay past "mandatory" retirement). GA TECH ROTC. I love having weekends off now and not balancing two full time careers. I miss shooting all the cool toys, blowing stuff up, etc. - I was a Light Fighter originally but I miss maneuvering the Bradleys and M1s. I miss my Battle Buddies and mentoring the next wave of warriors. I do not miss spending more time on reporting my units' SHARP status than their weapons qualification status. I do not miss sending units off to AFG the last few years and watching the fear in their families' eyes - I will miss seeing their families and communities celebrate their return. I was proud to wear the uniform and blessed to live in an area that constantly thanks those in uniform.

Stay in - get your 20 at least if you can - we need you and those like you. If nothing else - do it for the benefits. In today's world of ObamaCare, 401ks, and IRAs - there is nothing in the world like the pension and the ability to draw TRICARE before age 65.

[Drang]

... there is nothing in the world like the pension and the ability to draw TRICARE before age 65.

But for God's sake, even if you live right outside the gate, go with Tricare and not "Oh, I'll just go to the medical center on post."

[breakingtime91]

I appreciate everyone's posts and input. Glad to see I'm not the only one who has had those second thoughts. i had a friend text me the other day and is basically just said the struggle is real. Got me thinking about it. Part of my issue is I would really like to try out law enforcement but I'm red/green colorblind and has caused some issues.

[SeriousStudent]

If you do not miss the people, you were never part of anything worthwhile.

Let your service be an inspiration for those you will lead in the future. Bless you for all you have given back to your country.

[Drang]

If you do not miss the people, you were never part of anything worthwhile.

Let your service be an inspiration for those you will lead in the future. Bless you for all you have given back to your country.

Quoted for truth.

This is not a new thing, every generation that fights a war learns it again. This is why veterans organizations still exist, for one thing.

[11B10]

Quoted for truth.

This is not a new thing, every generation that fights a war learns it again. This is why veterans organizations still exist, for one thing.



Again , just superb posts ^^^! Thanks, gentlemen.

[Drang]

Would you have met your wife if you had? That's what I ask myself every time I start to daydream about "What If" I had gone Warrant, or gone into the even secreter squirrel program I was being recruited for.

[BehindBlueI's]

I appreciate everyone's posts and input. Glad to see I'm not the only one who has had those second thoughts. i had a friend text me the other day and is basically just said the struggle is real. Got me thinking about it. Part of my issue is I would really like to try out law enforcement but I'm red/green colorblind and has caused some issues.

I'm Red/Green color blind. It depends on the department. I looked at the computer screen and failed. I looked in the book and failed. They had be pick a red lollipop and a green lollipop out of a basket of different colored lollipops. I passed. I did not get to keep the lollipops, which is bullshit of the highest order.

[TGS]

There are plenty of LE jobs that colorblindness will not disqualify you.

[LSP552]

BT,

I spent 3 years as an Army MP (1974-77) with the specific intent of that helping me get hired by LSP. I was one of those low ambition types who wanted to be a Trooper since the 6th grade. In that time frame, prior military was, while not an actual requirement, a strong preference for being hired. It worked out for me, and I spent 30 years with LSP and had opportunities along the way to do lots of cool stuff. I enjoyed my time in the Army, and would have made a career there if law enforcement had not worked out.

I have very few regrets in my life. Not going into the Reserves is one of the biggest. At the time, the only Army Reserve component near me was a transportation company, which held no interest for me. I should have driven across the State for another option.

Understand that you have done plenty for your Country, and please accept my thanks for that. If you miss the service, have you considered an Active Reserve or National Guard commitment? This may, or may not, mesh with your current situation. Only you can know that.

I think most people with a service orientation miss it when it's done. Things do change, and everyone has to walk their own path. Good luck with the future!

Some agencies are less strict about color blindness, and may offer waivers.