NJ has Gangster Turkeys

[nycnoob]

The NYT is running a story about gangster-turkeys in NJ (http://takingnote.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/04/06/humans-take-up-air-horns-to-confront-gangster-turkeys).




They are a protected species and seem to know it, intruding in flocks of a dozen or more wherever they please. Cute at first sight, then annoying, the birds are about to face “humane harassment” in the town of Teaneck, N.J., where officials plan to arm concerned residents with 20 air horns in self defense.

[ . . . ]

Teaneck’s air horns, on the other hand, are an attempt at suburban co-existence. “There has to be a peaceful solution,” says Ms. Lopchinsky.

NJ thinking . . .

[Jeep]

The NYT is running a story about gangster-turkeys in NJ (http://takingnote.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/04/06/humans-take-up-air-horns-to-confront-gangster-turkeys).


NJ thinking . . .


I suppose suggesting a hunting season would make the lefty urbanites heads explode?

[Totem Polar]

I know for a fact that nunchaku will work on large, aggressive, ground dwelling birds. Just saying.

[Hambo]

Mother of God. I've got the answer, but they won't let me take my Benelli into NJ. To be totally fair, we've got idiots in the burbs here, but at least our idiots whine about the coyotes eating their little foofoo dogs, not birds.

[idahojess]

Looks like they can be hunted in the state.

http://www.state.nj.us/dep/fgw/turkey_info.htm

We have quite a few of them around here (Couple thousand miles away) that cause issues in the urban areas during mating season, particularly when they set up in a neighborhood, so that's probably a similar problem. I haven't had any problem with them, but I have seen them struuting/gobbling down the street in the Spring, and moving on.

[Drang]

I'll just leave this here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FXSnoy71Q4

[Tom Duffy]

I suppose suggesting a hunting season would make the lefty urbanites heads explode?

No, it's more that discharging shotguns in a residential suburban environment would probably cause other things to explode such as cars, houses, and school children.

[HCM]

Hunting Gangster Turkeys in NJ is simple.

The hard part is getting them into the front seat of a Cadillac and getting the piano wire around their neck......

[Hambo]

Hunting Gangster Turkeys in NJ is simple.

The hard part is getting them into the front seat of a Cadillac and getting the piano wire around their neck......

Take the cannolis.

[Joe in PNG]

Many, many years ago, back in Florida, a gang of turkeys tried to take over my Grandmother's flowerbed as their turf.
She did not like that, and shot one with a 20ga single, then clubbed the rest to death using the stock (she forgot how to reload).

[JDM]

Many, many years ago, back in Florida, a gang of turkeys tried to take over my Grandmother's flowerbed as their turf.
She did not like that, and shot one with a 20ga single, then clubbed the rest to death using the stock (she forgot how to reload).

That. Is. Awesome.

[hufnagel]

Many, many years ago, back in Florida, a gang of turkeys tried to take over my Grandmother's flowerbed as their turf.
She did not like that, and shot one with a 20ga single, then clubbed the rest to death using the stock (she forgot how to reload).

https://media2.giphy.com/media/OdVug9ZRk8sqA/200_s.gif

[Mjolnir]

I suppose suggesting a hunting season would make the lefty urbanites heads explode?

Only if they donned feathers and hid in the bushes.

LMAO!

[RevolverRob]

Gangster turkeys? Puhh-lease...Chicago has two gangs of birds tougher than any jive turkey. We've got L-Train Pigeons and Canadian Geese.

Straight up, no joke, Canadian Geese are the real menace to South Chicago. They chase, they bite, they fight, and they are huge.

Then we have those L-Train Pigeons. I was in The Loop one time, on a cold ass day, waiting for the Brown Line. There are these overhead heaters on the platform for you to stand under and stay warm. Only, you can't stand under them, because that's the chosen turf of The L-Train Pigeons. These guys are brutal, bigger than my 20-pound housecat, meaner than Leroy Brown. I'm telling you guys I was trying to get under one of those heaters and this L-Train Pigeon comes all up me...I was terrified, he had a switchblade and a tear drop tattooed under one eye. How does that even happen? It's one of the few times I've been truly in fear of my life. Only I was in Chicago...so my best option was to stand in the cold and not fight with the pigeon over a heater.

As for NJ's Turkeys...seems like something that could be solved with something like this: https://pistol-forum.com/showthread.php?20023-Pocket-Shot

Edit, I found a photo of my assailant pre-tattoo.

7124

[Bigguy]

It's well known that wild creatures are learning to live in the urban sprawl that replaces wild lands. Here is a prime example.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqRLDr03XQ4

[BJXDS]

We have gangsta turkeys here in VA also, and there is about 6 weeks left to hunt em down! Just so happens I have been deputized by the VDGIF.

[45dotACP]

Gotta get out there with a bow and one of these

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO9LANrlDjs

Warning: Pretty Damned graphic

[olstyn]

Gotta get out there with a bow and one of these

Uh, damn. Wow. Those certainly appear to be effective.

[Jeep]

Hunting Gangster Turkeys in NJ is simple.

The hard part is getting them into the front seat of a Cadillac and getting the piano wire around their neck......


This has to be in competition for one of the all-time-best "win the internet" posts.

[FNFAN]

Hunting Gangster Turkeys in NJ is simple.

The hard part is getting them into the front seat of a Cadillac and getting the piano wire around their neck......

No Ziti for you!

[JAD]

I was in The Loop one time, on a cold ass day, waiting for the Brown Line.

We are all, in some way, waiting for the Brown Line, colder than a welldigger's ass.