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11B10
03-24-2016, 07:56 PM
Today my son & I were driving along the interstate - approx. 55 mph (I have a '78 Chevy Cheyenne/4x4/350 engine) to pick up some new furniture. We both started hearing a scraping sound - like an exhaust pipe or muffler on the road - and the unmistakable roar of a small block Chevy. Took the next ramp, got on a side street - sure enough, the y-pipe (crossover) had decided that nearly 38 years was long enough and parted company with the muffler, which dropped down and was dragging on the road. I had put this muffler on a year ago and spent extra to get a HD hanger/bracket to use behind the muffler. The nylon reinforced rubber connector measures nearly an inch thick and did not tear, even when the leading edge of the muffler bounced off the road a few times. I had no tools (very unusual for me - what can I say - it was spur of the moment?). But wait! I did have my Benchmade Griptilian in its regular pocket (plus, of course my EDC in its regular spot)! I was very glad I had bought the serrated blade because that's what I used on the connector. In less than ten minutes, we were back on the road. It is my first quality blade, but money well spent, IMO.

Luke
03-24-2016, 08:00 PM
If my knife could talk, at the bare minimum I'm going in for a 48 hour psych exam.

S Jenks
03-24-2016, 08:13 PM
Splitting small logs with a Glock knife instead of an axe was pretty neat.

texasaggie2005
03-24-2016, 09:48 PM
Got a twofer from one weekend;

1) Killed a ~150lbs wild hog with a Ka-bar. More of a stab I guess, but I call it a cut too.

2) An unmentionable body part while trying to scrape a tick head out.

Chuck Haggard
03-24-2016, 09:59 PM
Myself out of a badly wrecked car.

okie john
03-24-2016, 10:28 PM
Got a twofer from one weekend;

1) Killed a ~150lbs wild hog with a Ka-bar. More of a stab I guess, but I call it a cut too.

2) An unmentionable body part while trying to scrape a tick head out.

I killed a little javelina with a knife once. Once was enough.


Okie John

texasaggie2005
03-24-2016, 10:39 PM
Once was enough.


Okie John

Wholeheartedly agree. I wouldn't have done it without the two Pitbulls holding onto the hog's snout.

Maple Syrup Actual
03-25-2016, 12:29 AM
Nothing really weird...cut off a cast once; cut an entire couch to bits with a big knife I'd just finished making (nails and all).

I know a guy who impaled his hand on a knife after sticking it through a mostly frozen chicken, though. It just broke through the frozen bits and went through the chicken and his left hand in one motion, and he was stuck to a chicken.

And my dad once fainted after stabbing himself in the chest by accident, even though I don't think it was very serious. But I have to admit that if I look down and see holes in my body that aren't usually there, even if I consciously know they're not life-threatening, I feel pretty light-headed so I assume I inherited his parasympathetic overreaction.

Oh, my grandfather cut a huge rattlesnake in half once. It was hibernating in a hollow log. Four inches in diameter; maybe seven feet long.

okie john
03-25-2016, 08:57 AM
Oh, my grandfather cut a huge rattlesnake in half once. It was hibernating in a hollow log. Four inches in diameter; maybe seven feet long.

That's what shotguns are for.


Okie John

SecondsCount
03-25-2016, 09:10 AM
My dad would have some good ones if he was in this thread.

He was the type that never used the right tool for the job. I remember us pulling out of the driveway and getting about 200 yards from the house when the power steering belt on the car shredded (he rarely maintained his cars either). He got out, popped the hood, and barked an order to me to get a steak knife from the kitchen. When I returned he promptly used it to free the pulleys of the tangled mess.

We got back in the car and headed to the auto parts store to get a new belt.

ffhounddog
03-25-2016, 09:22 AM
I have a fixed blade that I took to Iraq and it cut parts if of Mig-23.

Duelist
03-25-2016, 10:00 AM
Busted open a box of grenades once. Got called John Rambo ever after by a certain senior NCO. Told him he should bring along a crowbar if he was gonna carry sealed boxes of grenades around.

pablo
03-31-2016, 01:42 PM
My own stitches.

I cut a large tractor tire off the rim, instead just paying the $200 delivery and mounting fee. A Reciprocating saw didn't work on the bead and it to a 7" angle grinder to get it cut.

BehindBlueI's
03-31-2016, 05:38 PM
Garbage bag containing a dead pit bull. In an alley, concerned citizen called it in as a kid in a garbage bag.

voodoo_man
03-31-2016, 06:53 PM
Had a guy decide to get tangled in some thick nets of a cargo ship which was at port in my AO. Had to cut through a few pretty thick and multilayered lines.

LSP552
03-31-2016, 08:08 PM
Myself...

warpedcamshaft
04-01-2016, 12:18 AM
I have a fixed blade that I took to Iraq and it cut parts if of Mig-23.

Filet o' Flogger...

voodoo_man
04-01-2016, 06:20 AM
Myself...

Someone needs to call EAP...

BobM
04-01-2016, 07:14 AM
In the spring Walmart used to put up a temporary greenhouse with a metal frame and plastic cover. One windy day I was driving up the access road and could hear it rattle and saw it start to move. I turned on the MVR just as it blew over on a line of parked cars. I used my Delica to slice the plastic so it wouldn't keep blowing across the lot.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

LSP552
04-01-2016, 09:20 AM
Someone needs to call EAP...

Spyders bite...

Hambo
04-03-2016, 07:48 AM
A friend...actually two friends. What can I say? Hold still when I've got a blade in my hand.

Wondering Beard
04-03-2016, 02:14 PM
My own foot, in order to remove nearly invisible tiny shards of broken glass. Used the tip to find them, and the edge to create a bigger opening to squeeze the shards out.

Maple Syrup Actual
04-03-2016, 03:08 PM
One thing I forgot to mention was that I cut my own head open once about ten years ago to dig out a bone chip that was under my scalp and had gotten wrapped up in this ball of scar tissue (which apparently is also something that runs in my family...I know nothing about how this works but there's a history of people getting foreign bodies lodged in them and sealed off, and then discovered later when they appear as benign tumors. I can't really give any more details because that's all I know but when it happened to me, my grandmother had a long list of people on her side of the family with the same story).

Anyway, I had this chip knocked off my skull years ago and it floated around a bit and then stopped and then scarred up internally or something, and I got sick of having a lumpy head so one day I just took a hand mirror, a razor blade, and some needle-nosed pliers into the bathroom and hacked it out. I took a couple of pictures because it was the early days of digital photography but I don't know where they'd be any more.

It pretty much worked although the bathroom looked like a slaughterhouse, and eventually the other couple of smaller fragments did the same thing, and by that time I'd stopped shaving my head so I went to an actual doctor, and they insisted on referring me to a surgeon, who wanted to sedate me to cut the rest of them out in a full-on surgical theatre.

I agreed to the surgery but drove myself to the hospital and thus successfully argued for no sedation, and had it done under a local. Ridiculous. Could have been done in a damn bathroom with a pair of pliers. Tied up an OR for two hours while they fucked around, and then midway through the surgery one of the nurses got friendly and started asking me questions about what I do, which I dodged for a while but ultimately admitted I was in the gun game, which really seemed to anger the old surgeon, who I think suddenly associated me with western militarism. He was about seventy and arabic, and I think he just had this a-ha moment in which a big, youngish, heavily tattooed white guy with good posture and a high comfort level with blood and surgery, was tied to the arms industry, and man, he did not like it.

So there's this huge difference between the first set of incisions and stitches and the last set, which were just a fucking mess. When my wife took the second set of stitches out ten days later (which IMO should be tons for a scalp thing) it totally fell apart and bled all over the place.

So the moral of that story is no matter how friendly the nurse is, if you have an old arab guy for a surgeon, don't get halfway through and then suddenly remind him of all the guys who probably shot the fuck out of people he wasn't necessarily a fan of...but when you shake that fence, it might turn out he was leaning a lot further to the other side than he let on.

Anyway it took about three months to heal that damn set of cuts, and the one I did myself was fine after a few weeks. As was the one he did before I got on his bad side. So basically, I can do a pretty good job of surgery compared to a pissed-off professional.

ReverendMeat
04-03-2016, 06:52 PM
A couple former coworkers who liked invading my personal space.

That Guy
04-04-2016, 12:40 AM
One thing I forgot to mention

Damn, dude... That there was a proper story!

BobLoblaw
04-04-2016, 08:46 AM
the cheese..bu-dum-tss!

Groan all you want. That fruit needed picking.

Rex G
07-22-2016, 10:47 AM
Well, not an unusual thing, but an unusual circumstance, and the only time I recall I ever had a pistol in one hand, and a blade in the other, while ready for a fight, was when we were approaching a stolen van, with the rear, outward-opening doors, held closed by a bungee cord. (The only safe direction to approach was from the rear of the van.) I carried a Tarani Masters Model Karambit folder at that time, and held it in the extended position, to cut the bungee cord on the pull stroke, while stepping back to create distance. My left blade hand then moved to support my grip on my P229. The van was found to be unoccupied, so there was no fight.

I do not remember whether I retracted the Karambit, into the standard grip, immediately after the cut, or kept it in the extended grip until the scene was known to be under control.

Corey
07-24-2016, 02:54 PM
A Saguaro cactus. I know, they are a protected plant, but this was for a desert survival class that had authorization to cut one down. They even marked the specific one we were allowed to cut open. There was about 15 people in the class with a wide variety of fixed blade and folding knives. We learned that it doesn't matter what kind of knife you use, cutting open a saguaro is hard work. We also learned the easy way to do it, forget the knife and use a survival saw.

Paul Sharp
07-24-2016, 05:17 PM
...Anyway it took about three months to heal that damn set of cuts, and the one I did myself was fine after a few weeks. As was the one he did before I got on his bad side. So basically, I can do a pretty good job of surgery compared to a pissed-off professional.

I'd have been sitting on the hood of that dudes car the next morning, waiting for him to come out and play.

Maple Syrup Actual
07-24-2016, 05:26 PM
And I love you for that. I basically just looked into what kind of skidoo he owned and whether he needed free gas for it, then offered him free health care and a passport.

I just put a cider back and I'm frustrated because I worked on my boat all week and just took it for a test run and hit something with my prop which now needs welding so this is a level of honesty I don't generally express online but I WISH I was more like that. I would feel a lot better about myself if I could truthfully say that I waited for him and cracked him in the mouth. But instead I walked away and frankly if I think about that I regret it.

Your approach is better and I wish I was more like that. I'm not sure if this is coming off sarcastic but I'm being serious.

Keep on being a T-rex, you're one of the guys I take my inspiration from.

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Totem Polar
07-24-2016, 06:24 PM
Not being an action guy, I'm going to have a hard time beating some of these, especially misanthropist.

But I did cut apart a Honda Accord headrest (the early-mid years that got stolen a lot) to try and dig out some flat bullets. Did y'all know that early Accord headrests--the kind on those two little ratchet posts with an internal metal plate--will stop 9mm bullets? Only reason I mention it.