Gun For Wife

[iakdrago]

Mission drives gear question.

Me and my wife recently got married (Jan. 3rd). Up to this point she has been carrying my spare M&p9fs in a spare kydex holster inside her purse. The gun does not exhibit the accuracy issues, as i routinely shoot it at 25+ yards. She on the other hand is not what i would call a shooting aficionado. Slow shooting at 7 yards she can keep the whole magazine within a hand print. As of late, i find that despite the gun now having pink backstops, it spends a lot more time on the dresser than in her purse.

Our training: I make it a point for her to come to the range with me, but have been unsuccessful at making it more than once every 2-3 months. (GJM your wife needs to talk to my wife.)
She will not carry a gun on her person, because it interferes with her style (she is on the slim side, and likes to show it). Albeit i'm still grateful that she at least attempts to carry it in her purse.

When i asked her about the reason that she does not carry the gun all the time, the response was simple--it's too big.

I'm now on the look out of a smaller gun. The M&p shield, and M&P compact is at the top of the list given our M&P family. But also the J Frame, and even the Ruger LCP in 380/M&P bodyguard. If the gun will ever be used it will be most likely at point blank range or less. It will not need to be reloaded. It does not have to be capable of headshot at 25 yards.

The mission of her guns is different when compared to my gun. With my gun, my mission is to fight with it, to preserve my family and the lives of those around me. Hers, is to be there when the situation smells and looks like shit, so that she can grip the gun in her purse, and if needed, pull it out and use it.

Her number one priority as i have always taught her, is to run. If cornered, shoot.

Given that long and awkward synopsis, any suggestions for a handgun for my wife?

[JHC]

My recoil hating wife and both my new daughter in laws (with tiny hands) absolutely love the two G42s that have been around here. They can shoot full size guns albeit not blazing but they can blaze the G42s and keep their hits in the IDPA A circle at 20 feet. Not like PF Bill Drill PR's but sub second splits. They can't do that with a J frame.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

A good read for the involved parties is www.corneredcat.com

Male opinions on the right gun for the wife and training for the wife are sometimes filtered through a male paradigm and ego. I recall Vicki Farnam taking to task a male who was upset his wife didn't take his advance to carry a compact 1911. I also recommend that one find a female oriented training course or two and then let the female decide what works.

The recent accidental shooting of a mom by her kid may make people rethink purse carry. It may be appealing but here's a good take on it - http://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/2014/12/31/psa-use-holsters-not-purses/

J frames are not the most pleasant to shoot for the untrained.

As far as never having to make a long distance shot or reload - wish I was that psychic. Yep, the modal encounter might be blazing away with eyes closed at close range - but I'd prefer a higher standard.

[iakdrago]

My recoil hating wife and both my new daughter in laws (with tiny hands) absolutely love the two G42s that have been around here. They can shoot full size guns albeit not blazing but they can blaze the G42s and keep their hits in the IDPA A circle at 20 feet. Not like PF Bill Drill PR's but sub second splits. They can't do that with a J frame.

Did not even think of the Glock 42. It makes a lot of sense in our situation. Especially since i'm considering a slow migration to the Glock side myself.

[iakdrago]

A good read for the involved parties is www.corneredcat.com

Male opinions on the right gun for the wife and training for the wife are sometimes filtered through a male paradigm and ego.



My plan is to take her to a range, and rent one of each of the suggested guns, and let HER chose the gun that she is most comfortable shooting AND carrying.

My only parameters are that the gun is reliable and of service caliber (yes, including 380).

Though like you i would love to apply a higher standard to the shooting requirements, i have to keep the ego component in check. Right now, i want her to be armed, and be able to put down/deter an attack from 0-7 yards away with the biggest emphasis on getting away.
The hope of course, is that with time and training, she will be able to make the proper choices to the carry methods/gun selection.

Though i may wish that my wife could complete the SEAL Team 6 qualifier, and be able to grab my body armor, ar-15, and kick down the door when she needs to go and rescue the kids/me--at this point in time it's not realistic.

[JHC]

The only other pistol my wife likes to shoot is her cranberry frame Ruger SR22 (the leetle .22 auto). It's about 500 rds in running well and she can grip and rip with it too. I find Headhunter's stats and arguments quite persuasive that for the vast majority of civilian defensive uses, any reliably functioning gun they can shoot well and have at hand is a good choice, .22s included.

[WOLFIE]

You mentioned possibly going to glock which does make the glock 42 appealing. The G26 gen4 recoil is surprisingly tame and should be small enough for purse carry. If the G26 grip fits her hand, I would suggest that one although I do think you are wise to let her choose. The M & P 9C should fit her hand even better than the G26. My friend recently bought the shield for his wife and the 9C for himself. His wife likes the small shield.

[Totem Polar]

Did not even think of the Glock 42. It makes a lot of sense in our situation. Especially since i'm considering a slow migration to the Glock side myself.

The G42 sure took a lot of shit from hardcore enthusiasts when it first came out a year ago (including even few posts here) but there is no denying that the pistol has its own niche. Several of my friends have slowly acquired G42s over the last year--based on my experiences with my MLK day exemplar--and the number one reason cited is "it fits my wife to a t". We all get that it's not going to be our country's next service sidearm, but it's a *great* gun for a husband and wife to take to the range, and the wife to carry back from same.

[psalms144.1]

My wife, God Bless her for sticking around for over 20 years, has been on-again-off-again when it comes to firearms. Despite my attempts to reason with her, she's not interested in a firearm in places where "we're safe." She first started carrying consistently when we were living in Miami, she was 7 months pregnant, and our next-door neighbor was robbed, at gun point, in his driveway. In broad daylight. Two years later, living in a "safe" neighborhood in San Antonio and having a baby attached to her 20 hours a day, the juice wasn't worth the squeeze, for her.

What I'm getting at is this: SOMETIMES, women who are attracted to us will do stuff because they want to just spend time with us, even if they don't really enjoy what we're doing. My wife, who is possibly the best "natural" shot I've ever met and can shoot the wings off a fly (well, maybe off a small bird) at 25 yards, is in this category. While we were courting, time on the range meant time together. Now, time on the range is time apart, which makes the time spent together "mo' bettah." If your wife is anything like SWMBO, the more you push, the less she'll enjoy shooting.

OK, now down to the question. Answer: DON'T ASK US! Take herself to as many LGS as possible, and let her peruse, fondle and decide what she wants to try. Then take her to a range where you can rent that model and let her try it. My wife LOVED her airweight J-frame at the gun show, fired THREE rounds through it (158 gr +P LHP, of course) and decided it would be a great ankle gun for me. She LOVED her Colt Pony Pocketlight until the first time on the range and she was having about 50% malfunctions - off to Gunbroker it went. She HATES my Glocks, all of them, no matter how often I try to make her understand they're the "best thing for her." To date, the only pistol she has consistently told me she'd be upset if I sold it out from under her was a Colt Commanding Officer 9mm (lightweight Commander frame with and Officer's model upper). There's no way in God's green earth I or any of my gun-savvy friends would have recommended that little gem, but there you have it...

Seriously, DON'T get her a j frame, especially an airweight. I can't count the number of times I've had friends come to me to help teach their wives how to shoot with the 642 the LGS convinced them was the best "fit" for "her little hands." If you can get her to commit to carry a M&Pc 9mm, I think you'd both be in a good place. It sounds like it's VERY unlikely given her dress and physique that she'll ever carry any "real" pistol on her person, so a compactish 9mm in a GOOD purse holster could be the best option. And, as others have mentioned, while I don't routinely recommend mice guns, if the only thing she'll carry with her all the time is a Beretta .22LR - better that than a sharp stick when the wolf comes around (SWMBO actually carried one of these for a while, we spent a lot of time going over appropriate tactical applications - e.g. under the jaw and pull the trigger until it runs dry).

Best of luck and let us know what she decides on.

[Bigguy]

The only input I have is that I have an LCP that I love and carry as a BUG. Any thought I had of passing it down my my wife disappeared after out first trip to the range. The little bugger kicks pretty good, and she passed it right back to me. We had to go another way.

[GMSweet]

My wife doesn't like my M&P FS9 w/TS at all; the scalloped serrations don't work for her and there is too much to think about with the safety. We went down a bunch of paths and we're still closing in on what we believe will be a Glock G19, a Sig P320 in a carry frame, or a medium framed revolver.

Here's what I learned from the experience so far:

1) Drive her to good local gun stores
2) Walk to the counter with her to get the ball rolling
3) Step back and let her work with the salesman

In doing so, she's already identified stores she likes and stores she doesn't like and knows that she doesn't want a J-Frame or small pistol like a Shield/Bodyguard/G42. It's taken a while using the approach of eliminating options to get to a small list of possibilities, but I want something she'll be comfortable with and willing to practice with. I had to promise to stop bad mouthing Glocks if she gets one. Since I reload for 9mm we're looking at other 9mm options, but I let her know I'm willing to sacrifice and reload for .38 special and .357 mag if needed. ;)

For another female perspective on carry options, have her check out https://www.youtube.com/user/faliaphotography for some clothing options and holster opinions.

BTW, congrats on the marriage.

Matt

[Gadfly]

My wife is pretty happy with the Shield in 9mm. I had bought her a Glock 19, but after she shot my Shield, it became "her" shield, and lives in her purse... Strangely enough, her favorite gun to shoot is the one I taught her how to shoot on, the 92FS. It is too big even for her purse! But the big size and weight make it easy to control...

Of all the .380s I have handled and shot, the Glock 42 is hands down the best of the bunch. A tad larger than the LCP and Kel Tec, but that makes it more controllable, it has real sights that can be upgraded to tritium or fibers, or whatever you like. I am not a fan of the .380, but if I had to have one, it would be the 42 without question.

My wife HATED my 637 J frame, and is not a fan of my 26. So of all the things I owned, she picked the Shield and has not looked back.

[SecondsCount]

Mrs. SC holds NRA Woman on Target clinics on a regular basis. I occasionally assist and she has a couple experienced ladies that help. We bring a couple Buckmark 22's, M&P9c, Glock 19 Gen 3 and 4, Springfield 9mm 1911, HK P2000 and P30 9mm LEM, Kahr K9, and a Sig P228. One of the ladies that assists her brings a J Frame and a 9mm XDsc. The XD (I know), M&P9c, Kahr K9, and 1911 seem to be the most popular with the ladies.

The guns that ladies bring to the clinics:

Ruger LC series is pretty popular, once in a while we see a SR9c or 40c.
S&W M&P 9c. Popular and run really well in ladies hands.
Springfield XDsc. Lots of XD's for some reason and seem to run well.
Kahr 9mm...CW9, K9, etc.
Glock 19 and 23. Those that bring the 23 usually have a law enforcement family member that recommended one but complain about the recoil. I have yet to see a 42 and maybe one 26. The Gen 4 that we have has lots of limp wrist issues, even with American Eagle or Speer Lawman 124 grain ammo. Gen 3 works fine most of the time.
There is a sprinkling of revolvers but they are losing popularity, and odds and ends of 380s. The Bersa 380 was popular for a while and they run well but for how long is the question.

I think the worst gun is the Walther P22. We have thought about banning them them because of all the malfunction issues and confusion about the safety.

Like someone else already mentioned, please let her try lots of guns before making a decision.

[Lomshek]

I'd suggest trying the Ruger LC9s. The trigger is light years better than the hammer fired versions. I can't testify to durability or reliability but the size is in the Shield ballpark of just right for a purse gun.

[Beat Trash]

My wife is in the same boat as the OP. We've been married two years now, and prior to meeting me, she had no exposure to firearms.

She can shoot an M&P9fs and a HK VP9 well. But carrying one is out of the question due to size. I bought her a M&P Shield as she liked the size of mine. But she just haven't warmed up to it. A girlfriend of hers has one of the new Glock 42's and was telling her about it. For a smaller and slimmer person, the 380 Glock is the answer to the nitch. I am definitely not a fan of the 380 caliber. But I would rather have my wife armed with a "shootable" 380, than a larger 9mm in off body carry. A pistol in a purse isn't much good if the punch is snatched...

As my wife is not an LEO, she needs to go through our state's CCW course. I have several friends who can certify her, but we found a female instructor who teaches women only classes. This lady has a similar build as my wife. After speaking with her for a length of time, i discovered she promotes belly band/holster combinations with smaller guns like a Colt mustang or a Glock 42. This permits smaller women with slider builds to carry on their body and not dress, "like a man".

As a person who will not go below a 9mm Glock 19 or M&P9c for a primary off-duty carry, I cringe at the concept of a Glock 42 in 380 acp as my wife's primary carry gun. But then I tell myself that I would rather she have a 380 that she is confidant with and actually carries.

The hardest thing for men immersed in the gun culture to do when their significant other wants to chose a carry gun, is to actually let their significant other chose the gun.

[David Armstrong]

Given that long and awkward synopsis, any suggestions for a handgun for my wife?
If I had a dollar for every well-meaning hubby/boyfriend who had picked out a gun for his significant other who then disliked it I'd be able to buy something really nice!:D
My advice is usually something along the lines of take her to a gun show, well-equipped gun store, or someplace where there are lots of guns that she can see and handle. Feel free to provide input and suggest similar but better quality alternatives if they find something they like. Then let that be their gun, even if you don't think it is the best thing for them. In my immediate associations my daughter carries a S&W Mdl 60, my mother uses a S&W Mdl 649, and my ex uses a Colt Diamondback 2". Not necessarily what I would have preferred for any of them, but AFAIK each of them carries and shoots their gun regularly.

[Motorcopm4]

My wife carries a G19 off duty and an issued M&P45 on duty. She much prefers the Glock fits her hand much better even with the small M&P backstrap

[JHC]

If I had a dollar for every well-meaning hubby/boyfriend who had picked out a gun for his significant other who then disliked it I'd be able to buy something really nice!:D
My advice is usually something along the lines of take her to a gun show, well-equipped gun store, or someplace where there are lots of guns that she can see and handle. Feel free to provide input and suggest similar but better quality alternatives if they find something they like. Then let that be their gun, even if you don't think it is the best thing for them. In my immediate associations my daughter carries a S&W Mdl 60, my mother uses a S&W Mdl 649, and my ex uses a Colt Diamondback 2". Not necessarily what I would have preferred for any of them, but AFAIK each of them carries and shoots their gun regularly.

I too know a couple females that pick a j frame over a modern semi. And for what they want it for (not mall terr events) they shoot them effectively at close range and know their gun well.

[Trooper224]

There are times when we have to come to the realization that our spouse won't, or perhaps even shouldn't, carry a gun. Constantly badgering them about it usually only makes them even more resistant. Unfortunately, in those cases it usually takes some kind of tragic incident to change their mind. My wife has a 2.5 inch S&W Model 66 that has been "her" gun for some years now. She doesn't carry it and probably never will. It typically goes to the range then back to the nightstand. She's an intelligent, educated woman yet lacks the decisive nature and mindset necessary for carrying a gun. Consequently I've never really forced the issue. Her hardware preference seems to be changing though. She likes the Beretta 92 and shoots it like a boss. Truthfully, I was a bit shocked at how well she shot it the first time out, far better than she's shot anything else and to a significant degree. I can't see her packing one in her purse anytime soon though.

[Drang]

OP: Where do you live? Perhaps someone here can recommend a local course/range/club where your wife can try a variety of options.

[CanineCombatives]

Just transitioned my wife from the S&W shield to the P320 compact with small grip module, her performance
with it is easily 40% better than the shield, subsequently she enjoys shooting much more and is making solid
progress in the fundamentals, make sure you try one.

[JHC]

Just transitioned my wife from the S&W shield to the P320 compact with small grip module, her performance
with it is easily 40% better than the shield, subsequently she enjoys shooting much more and is making solid
progress in the fundamentals, make sure you try one.

My wife actually liked shooting my new medium gripped full size 320. I'm anxious to track down a small module next. If I can find one in cranberry it would really help. ;)

[warpedcamshaft]

Her number one priority as i have always taught her, is to run. If cornered, shoot.

Given that long and awkward synopsis, any suggestions for a handgun for my wife?

Read about Claude Werner's "Old Man Gun" and the interesting and flexible options of carry such a configuration can provide if the ultimate goal is to have her carry. (I would recommend studying as much of Claude's stuff as you can.)

It may help give some ideas.

[WOLFIE]

Just transitioned my wife from the S&W shield to the P320 compact with small grip module, her performance
with it is easily 40% better than the shield, subsequently she enjoys shooting much more and is making solid
progress in the fundamentals, make sure you try one.

I have interest in the P320. When you (not your wife) holds the carry model, where does your pinkie finger go? Does it go underneath the magazine, does it grip the gun like the other fingers, or does it grip the bottom edge of the actual grip (borderline - halfway on and halfway off)? Same question for your wife.

[CanineCombatives]

I wear a large size glove in most brands and my pinkie has plenty of real estate to wrap around the grip
and not tuck under but I am indexing on the magazine baseplate with my pinkie.
My wife has quite a bit of spare real estate having extremely small hands, well below average for most
women yet the P320 compact is easier and more comfortable for her to operate than the shield.

[WOLFIE]

I wear a large size glove in most brands and my pinkie has plenty of real estate to wrap around the grip
and not tuck under but I am indexing on the magazine baseplate with my pinkie.
My wife has quite a bit of spare real estate having extremely small hands, well below average for most
women yet the P320 compact is easier and more comfortable for her to operate than the shield.

Thank you. You answered my question very well. I would definitely buy the small grip size frame for my wife and the medium for me. I am thinking the carry model or the yet to be released subcompact model for purse carry.

[WOLFIE]

Thank you. You answered my question very well. I would definitely buy the small grip size frame for my wife and the medium for me. I am thinking the carry model or the yet to be released subcompact model for purse carry.

Not my purse - my wife's purse - I don't have a purse - I meant purse carry for my wife - really

[psalms144.1]

Not my purse - my wife's purse - I don't have a purse - I meant purse carry for my wife - reallyIt's not a purse - it's a European Clutch!

[iakdrago]

OP: Where do you live? Perhaps someone here can recommend a local course/range/club where your wife can try a variety of options.

We live in the greater Philadelphia Area. The plan is to go to classic pistol this weekend and try out several different guns. If the guns from the list are not all available in the are, we will probably go to french creek outfitters, and target master to try more.

This is what i think will happened:

She will still prefer the full size guns for ease of shooting, however i hope that we find a happy median where we can find a purse gun that she can still enjoy shooting/shoot well. Of course, if it has a pink frame/interchangeable backstops, that will be a plus.

Again, thank you for all the input, it has been greatly appreciated.

As far as tactics, i know a lot of you are concerned about the purse carry/short range implication goals. As i said earlier, though i would love my wife to be able to conceal a full size pistol in a retention holster--that's not realistic. I would also love my wife to be a much better shooter than me and clear the qualification course of the u.s air marshals/seal team six--while sleep deprived and possibly hung over. However--baby steps.

[Don Gwinn]

Chicks dig matchlocks. Have you thought about a classic Ottoman arquebus?

[David Armstrong]

I too know a couple females that pick a j frame over a modern semi. And for what they want it for (not mall terr events) they shoot them effectively at close range and know their gun well.
Exactly. There is a reason the snub gun maintains its popularity even though some argue against it. It is easy to carry, easy to use, and for typical CCW events does a fine job. I keep a selection of them available for use during my CCW classes and they are hands-down the most popular choices for a lot of women and men.

[WOLFIE]

It's not a purse - it's a European Clutch!

Ah, right, there we go.

[ldunnmobile]

My wife has had quite a few. She now carries a Shield in 9mm and shoots/trains with it and a M&P22 Compact, which is very similar to the Shield. It works well.

[warpedcamshaft]

My wife has had quite a few. She now carries a Shield in 9mm and shoots/trains with it and a M&P22 Compact, which is very similar to the Shield. It works well.

What type of carry gear for the shield?

[ldunnmobile]

She actually is using one of the Flashbang bra holsters. I was VERY skeptical but iI was really surprised how well it works. The trick is to have a sturdy undergarment. And follow the instructions on placement :)

It's the only think that's works with everything she wears. It disappears when done correctly and retention is very good. AIWB and IWB printed badly on her no matter how we tried it.

[WDW]

What about a lightweight 1911 like the Colt Defender? I have a female friend with one & she loves it.

[tanner]

I took the fiance out and let her shoot a Shield 9, a Sig 239 9mm, and a Glock 19. Despite me thinking she would dig the Shield, she liked the 239 the best.

She shoots very well, but is far from confident in her handling skills. Next purchase will be dummy rounds.

Although now I may have to get a hold of a 320 compact for her to try before we get too far along in the process. Hadn't considered it before this thread.

[bkpker]

My wife has and carries a Sig P938 regularly. She shoots it quite well in spite of the fairly stout recoil. She likes her crossbreed mini tuck holster and usually wears that. She also has a cancan concealment belly band which she likes if she's wearing pants which do not have belt loops http://www.cancanconcealment.com/#!holsters-for-large-guns/c9ml
She goes to the range fairly regularly and we compete in local IDPA matches, which she enjoys fairly well. I would recommend against off body carry. Most women leave their purses laying around on floors or chairs and if theres a gun in the purse, you are basically leaving a loaded weapon within reach of children and other people who you would rather not have access to your firearm. Not to mention the issues that would crop up if she were to be a purse snatching victim.

[SamAdams]

I took the fiance out and let her shoot a Shield 9, a Sig 239 9mm, and a Glock 19. Despite me thinking she would dig the Shield, she liked the 239 the best.

She shoots very well, but is far from confident in her handling skills. Next purchase will be dummy rounds.

Although now I may have to get a hold of a 320 compact for her to try before we get too far along in the process. Hadn't considered it before this thread.

I've got a 239 in 40. Accurate & reliable gun. Easy to shoot well because it's a single stack and relatively heavy for its size, and has a nice trigger.
You might want to have your fiancé carry it around (in holster or purse) for a week to see what she thinks afterwards. If you don't have access to a gun, maybe the equivalent weight in a purse ?

[tanner]

I've got a 239 in 40. Accurate & reliable gun. Easy to shoot well because it's a single stack and relatively heavy for its size, and has a nice trigger.
You might want to have your fiancé carry it around (in holster or purse) for a week to see what she thinks afterwards. If you don't have access to a gun, maybe the equivalent weight in a purse ?

She isn't ready to carry even on a limited basis. She is capable, but doesn't have the desire to. Just trying to find "her" gun so she can build up proficiency and confidence. So mainly for range time and to have at home, weight isn't much of a factor and maybe even helps with the recoil.

[David S.]

My wife is recoil sensitive and, if she has to shoot a "real defensive caliber", she likes is the Glock 17 OK, but it's borderline. It's heavy enough to absorb recoil, but light enough to hold in a shooting position. She does not like the Glock 19 because, for whatever reason, she perceives an unacceptable amount of recoil. The P226 is too heavy and she isn't strong enough (arthritis) for the initial DA trigger.

She loves her some .22's though. She really enjoys the Buckmark and the Noisy Cricket (Beretta 21A). I could see a Walther P22 or similar joining the lineup soon. Unfortunately I've had bad luck with .22 Conversion kits.

[iakdrago]

Update to the original thread. Some expected/unexpected consequences. My wife loved the M&P Shield. She was actually more accurate with it in single shot, as well as in double taps (the range that we went to does not allow rapid fire...). She liked shooting it more than the full size gun. In her words, she felt that that because of it's size she could control it better. The surprising part was that it went beyond her "feeling" that it was better. She actually was more accurate in both slow and "double tap" fire. She loved the gun so much, she did not even want to try any other guns that we had lined up. Now, she is excited to go shooting with me.

My thoughts. I'm ecstatic that my wife now wants to shoot more, and has found a gun that she WANTS to shoot, and is proficient at shooting. Personally, i've never shot the Shield before, but i also found the gun to be accurate--on par with my full size gun. The recoil was definitely snappier, but controllable. Reloads were a pain in the ass, as i kept pinching my palm with the magazine. The trigger was surprisingly heavy--but good.

Overall, i'm extremely happy that my wife found a gun that she likes to shoot, and now wants to make shooting a part of our routine. In her own words "i could not wait for your turn to be up, so that i could shoot my gun." I could not be happier.