TCinVA
07-01-2011, 10:01 PM
Public service anouncement:
If you want to celebrate the July 4th holiday with a home fireworks show a little early, that's cool. Really. But before you begin the festivities, please go next door, knock, and let me know that there are going to be a lot of gunshot type sounds coming from your property at 10:20 pm. It would also be a good idea to mention that your relatives may be chasing one another around with squirt guns, some of the women folk screaming for help and some of the men folk screaming something like "Shoot her again!" See, when a guy like me is awakened to the sound of lots of bangs and screaming the brain doesn't automatically go to "Oh, they're probably just having a July 4 party early." It goes to "A drug cartel is slaughtering my neighbors."
That sort of thought produces certain reactions from a dude like me, you see...reactions that are great if there actually is a drug cartel slaughtering your family, but otherwise are socially awkward.
Realizing that you're hearing fireworks and a squirtgun fight as the squirtgun fight is rapidly closing in on you...while you're holding a carbine...is uncomfortable. On the plus side, learning that if there were a competitive league for lawn-darting a 6920 that you'd have a shot at the title is sort of neat in an information-I-never-really-wanted-to-know sort of way.
If you want to celebrate the July 4th holiday with a home fireworks show a little early, that's cool. Really. But before you begin the festivities, please go next door, knock, and let me know that there are going to be a lot of gunshot type sounds coming from your property at 10:20 pm. It would also be a good idea to mention that your relatives may be chasing one another around with squirt guns, some of the women folk screaming for help and some of the men folk screaming something like "Shoot her again!" See, when a guy like me is awakened to the sound of lots of bangs and screaming the brain doesn't automatically go to "Oh, they're probably just having a July 4 party early." It goes to "A drug cartel is slaughtering my neighbors."
That sort of thought produces certain reactions from a dude like me, you see...reactions that are great if there actually is a drug cartel slaughtering your family, but otherwise are socially awkward.
Realizing that you're hearing fireworks and a squirtgun fight as the squirtgun fight is rapidly closing in on you...while you're holding a carbine...is uncomfortable. On the plus side, learning that if there were a competitive league for lawn-darting a 6920 that you'd have a shot at the title is sort of neat in an information-I-never-really-wanted-to-know sort of way.