I hear you. It's just that the details of "the attribution problem" are technical and boring, and We the People are sure as hell not going to educate ourselves about them. But suffice to say that it's not prima facie stupid to plan for automated counter-intrusion. Frankly, it's the way of the future, and it's been foretold in the feminazi-scifi literature. None less than the inventor of the phrase "cyberspace" described it as "ice." (In a few years, we may be able to deduce whether the neckbeards in the Fort prefer their scifi with a deep-rooted and carefully crafted hipster overtone, or an equally deep-rooted but more organic, classical feminist rant type of quality.)
Also, note that a "hack back" lacks the kinetic emphasis of a cruise missile. In many cases, and I theorize here speculatively, the automated countermeasure's immediate compromise of an innocent third party is the only reason a true attribution is at all possible. Without any true harm to the innocent third party, mind you, beyond a second insult their expectations of privacy or whatever, after they already got popped by whoever is really behind the attack we're responding to.
So. The gubmint will do some stuff, hopefully with due caution and minimal ethical ambiguity. Then, like good citizens of an open and democratic society, we'll judge the gubmint - based somewhat on information made available but based mostly on the pundits debating this stuff on TV - and act accordingly at the polls. Unless this all happens to far ahead of an election, in which case the insidious Kardashians will act to erase any memory of the event by the time we reach the polls. Except the forgotten atrocity involves zero Estonian hospital burnings.
Importantly, though, our intuitions about the effects of cyberwar will evolve. IMO, (and anyone who tells you they know just how this will play out is either full of bluster or has a crystal ball,) the macro effects of cyber will be influential in nature. For example, a company with a large manufacturing capacity and cheap labor can benefit from blueprints or etc. While the inverse of that won't work for a company with a lot of IP and 99% outsourced manufacturing operation - you can't download a copy of your victim's factory or cheap labor. Then again, the Kardashian Butt is a powerful weapon on the side of Good.
This is a fascinating topic and we're barely scratching the surface of an introduction. But yes, it's a lopsided situation in many ways, and it will be fascinating to see how balance is restored.