A man decides to quit his job and run away to join a pirate crew. After spending a few hours at the dock, he sees a man who has a peg leg, a hook hand, and an eye patch; the man is obviously a pirate captain. The man promptly joins the captains crew and they ship out to sea that very day.
Later that night, the man walks up to the captain and says “I’m sorry, but I just can’t hold back anymore. How did you get your peg leg?”
The captain says “arr, ‘twas me first day at see as a young lad. A great big swell came from the sea and knocked me overboard. Before me crew could pull me out, a giant one eyed fish swam up and bit off me leg.”
The man goes “That sounds terrible! What happened to your hand?”
The captain says “arr, ‘twas me second day at sea. Another great big swell came from the sea and knocked me overboard. Before me crew could pull me up, the giant one eyed fish swam up and bit off my hand.”
The man tells the captain it sounds like the fish has it out for him, and asks what happens to his eye.
The Captain says “arr, ‘twas me third day at see. I was looking up at the sky when a bird came and shat in me eye”
The man says “and that’s how you lost your eye?”
The captain responds “no, but twas me first day with the hook”
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