Attention all drivers...

[ER_STL]

Hi! If you drive a car and may consider traveling on any of the roads on which I have driven, currently drive, or may consider driving, please note the following:

The left lane on the highway or interstate is a passing lane. It is not a cruising lane. It is not a place for you to passive-aggressively “get back” at the segment of the driving population who may want to drive faster than you do. It’s not an appropriate place to clog up traffic behind you while you apply makeup, eat your lunch, read a newspaper or text your friends. In order to better communicate the purpose of the left line in this circumstance, I propose the following rules that you should immediately adopt.

1. If you are a person who believes that the left lane is your personal cruising lane and that you should drive in it at speeds that are slower than those who may approach behind you – and you catch yourself doing so – you should immediately pull off of the road to the shoulder on the right when it is safe to do so. You should then turn off the ignition and sit idle for five minutes. While you are doing so, you should contemplate what you did wrong in order to learn from your mistakes.
   
2. If you are a person who believes that the left lane is your personal cruising lane and you notice a car behind you, you should immediately yield the right-of-way to that driver at the first opportunity to safely do so. If you do not, you should immediately pull off of the road to the shoulder on the right when it is safe to do so. You should then turn off the ignition, saturate your underwear in Veet for Men and sit idle for five minutes. While you are sitting there in a measureable amount of pain and discomfort, you should contemplate what you did wrong in order to learn from your mistakes.
   
3. If you are a person who believes that the left lane is your personal cruising lane and you notice a car behind you yet you refuse to ever yield the right-of-way, forcing the driver to pass you on the right, you should immediately pull off of the road to the shoulder on the right when it is safe to do so. You should then turn off the ignition, saturate your underwear in Veet for Men, exit the car and practice falling down on the pavement for five minutes. While you are doing so, you should contemplate what you did wrong in order to learn from your mistakes.
   
4. If you are a person who believes that the left lane is your personal cruising lane and you intentionally speed up when another driver attempts to pass you on the right after refusing to yield the right-of-way, you should be shot. It doesn’t matter what happens after that as long as your car doesn’t injure anyone else.

Thank you and that is all. Have a nice day. Go Blues.

[ReverendMeat]

This concept really needs to be taught every year in Wisconsin public schools, I think. Like sex ed. The people here are, as a whole, the worst fucking drivers I've yet encountered.

[BehindBlueI's]

I often find it quicker to get in the right lane of a multi-lane highway with no lights and siren then to take the left lane with lights and siren.

So....I approve this message.

[jon volk]

Amen. Although I do think of the left lane as my own as I am usually passing everyone

[Peally]

This concept really needs to be taught every year in Wisconsin public schools, I think. Like sex ed. The people here are, as a whole, the worst fucking drivers I've yet encountered.

You have to travel more. We're retarded here but I am consistently amazed every time I see Illinois/Michigan drivers as well. I think driving like a dumbass is a universal human constant.

[ReverendMeat]

You have to travel more. We're retarded here but I am consistently amazed every time I see Illinois/Michigan drivers as well. I think driving like a dumbass is a universal human constant.

I've traveled plenty, sorry man. Through IL mostly through the Chicago area, yeah, they all suck there too. But I've never seen such a consistent level of suckage anywhere else but here.

Also my ex is from here and she can't drive for shit. That could be either due to her WI upbringing, or due to her being a dumb stupid bitch. Not sure on that one.

[NEPAKevin]

Anyone else get a weird deja vu vibe?
For a second there, it felt to me like the OP was channeling Todd:

Get out of my Lane.

[Joe in PNG]

Could we find out whoever is teaching this technique of interstate driving, and have them tar, feathered, flogged, and put into stocks:
-Swerve into next lane
-Accelerate
-Look
-Slam on brakes just before hitting car in front of you
-Swerve into next lane
-Repeat

[Clay]

I believe the majority of people are no longer self aware. They have no idea what is going on around them at any given time, or their impact (or lack thereof) on society. Age has nothing to do with it, contrary to popular belief. I see just as many 55-year old people like this as the millennials. It's simply astounding how many people there are like this - everywhere you go, there is someone taking up the entire isle in the grocery store, completely oblivious to the fact that they are NOT the only one in the store, and that someone else might want to travel down the same isle.

At the range I work on weekends, people will come in with all their gun shit and just stand in the way of others, or set all their gun cases and range bags right in the fucking way of everyone else. It simply amazes me that you have to tell a grown man to police his shit up and get out of the way. I love it when it's some tactical numbnuts with $5k worth of guns and gear, and I have to tell him there are three people behind him that need by so they can pay at the register. You've failed already, dumbass, and Armageddon isn't even here.

Sorry if this is off-topic. I tend to think it's the same disease.

As to idiots on the road, I avoid our local interstate highways like the plague, and feel like I need a sedative when returning from the two-mile drive to the car wash on a Saturday morning, after dodging tourists and bicyclists the entire way. $5 million dollars worth of bike trails around here and they still insist on clogging up every major roadway in town.

Utter selfishness, stupidity, and arrogance has taken over our society.

[rauchman]

Where is the MULTILIKE button!!!!